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Hello. I appreciate any insight. I am the granddaughter and POA for my 98-year-old grandmother. She has been living in an Assisted Living home with insurance for the past 8 years. Recently she is going downhill pretty fast with dementia. She is throwing out important objects - like her keys, watch, clocks, chargers, etc. I get constant calls that she is refusing to bathe or lost an item. I am there 2 times a week at least - but I have a family and other things I need to focus on as well. Is it the nurses jobs to watch my grandma and make sure she bathes? Seems like everyone is keeping a close eye on her but it’s just so heartbreaking to see her not want to leave her room and for me to keep getting calls about her care. Is she in the right place? Should I raise concerns to management or is this just not the type of place she should be living. Such as maybe she needs more care? I want the best for her. No one I know is going through this so I have no one to ask.

GranddaughterJ, welcome to the forum. One suggestion is to have your Grandmother checked for an urinary tract infection (UTI) as that can mimic dementia traits in much older adults.
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Reply to freqflyer
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At this point she needs Memory Care.
If the facility where she is currently has an MC section she can "easily" transition to that.
If they do not have MC you have the daunting task of finding one and making the move.
"Nurses" do not do any of the personal care that is done by Aides or maybe a CNA.
I am surprised that management has not talked to you about either moving her to the MC section or finding a facility that can meet your grandma's current and future care needs.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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"They keep avoiding talking to me about next steps."

I would think the AL would be accessing Mom and telling you its time for Memory care.

No facility can force Mom to bathe. Its a law. There are ways to get around that but it depends on how hard the aides want to try.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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"They keep avoiding talking to me about next steps."

I would think the AL would be accessing Mom and telling you its time for Memory care.

No facility can force Mom to bathe. Its a law. There are ways to get around that but it depends on how hard the aides want to try.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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If “they have a memory care floor”, but “keep avoiding talking to me about next steps”, perhaps they don’t have any memory care vacancies. They might be trying to string things out until there is a vacancy. You definitely need to talk to them about what’s happening.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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Memorycarelane.net will guide you into what’s right for your loved one by asking you some questions and just gives you validation on making a decision. Check it out
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Reply to DementiaNP
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Sounds like she need s more care, as her dementia is progressing. That's generally how it works. I was told when mother needed more care and had to be moved. I guess she needs to be evaluated. Involving/informing her doctor is a good idea
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Reply to golden23
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It may be that she now also needs meds to help put her agitated mind into a more peaceful mode. This is very common for elders with dementia, my Mom included. The part of her brain that would help her get herself to a more calm, less confused place is not gone so she needs help with it. It won't solve every problem but it might help her be less frantic and more cooperative. Talk to her doctor about it. I would definitely get this in place before she is transitioned to a different level of care.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Ask for a hospice evaluation. I'm sure she needs memory care, and hospice nurses and doctors will visit her there. This provides extra eyes watching out for her. Hospice no longer means that someone is going to die within six months. It can mean that she is declining steadily, which grandma certainly is. Hospice also provides counseling and services for you. Plus it is a free service, provided by Medicare.

Good luck in finding exactly what she needs.
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Reply to Fawnby
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GranddaughterJ 1 hour ago
Wow. Never knew that. Thank you. I will.
(0)
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They keep avoiding talking to me about next steps. I wasn’t exactly sure what memory care means or what benefits it would have. I’ll try to talk to them again. Thanks!
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Slartibartfast 18 hours ago
Memory care is awesome for those who need it. It provides a smaller world for them that's easier to understand and provokes less anxiety. She made need a doctor's evaluation to move to MC, maybe not, depending on your state and/or the facility rules. Good luck!
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Your grandmother now needs to be moved to memory care. Hopefully the assisted living facility she's in now has a memory care attached, so the move can go smoothly.
Talk to her facility today about moving her to memory care, to find out what that all will entail for her and you.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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GranddaughterJ 19 hours ago
Yes. They have a memory care floor. Thanks.
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She needs to be moved to memory care. The nurses at assisted living cannot force her to bathe or keep her safe in that environment. You say she's in assisted living but is that at a nursing home? Talk to the director of the assisted living and ask what the next steps are, they should be able to point you in the right direction. I'm surprised they haven't been in touch with you yet about her emerging new needs.
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