She very much enjoyed the airplane ride, 30 min after landing she forgot she was on the plane. Got her to Memory Care where I had fixed up her room with pics, and other items from her home. Told her there was propane leak at her home and not safe to stay while being repaired. It's been 3 days. She has texted 3 times asking me to get her home and called, left message this am to get her home. I knew there would be an adjustment period. Wondering if I should wait a few more days to go see her, take her to the moves which calms her down. I feel so bad, like I abandoned her. And also know this is "normal" for her/me to feel this way. Spoke with the caregiver at MC, they said she's eating, and sitting in common area, but not participating in activities and asking for me to take her home. Uggh. :( Anyone go through this? Also, MC said not advisable to put TV in her room, though she is asking for one. Thank you!
What you’re seeing is actually very common during transitions like this. The confusion and asking to go home happens a lot in the first few days—it doesn’t mean you made the wrong decision.
The guilt is real though… I’ve seen how heavy that can feel.
At one point, I found it helpful to talk to someone who understands both the emotional and cognitive side of this—someone like Dr. Sebastian Liew. It didn’t “fix” everything, but it helped me make sense of what was happening and feel less alone in it.
You’re doing more than you think you are.
I agree with meds if she doesn't adjust in 2 weeks.
Bless you for taking care of her to this point! May you receive peace in your heart that you did the right thing, even though it was very hard.
However I would not under any circumstances take her out of the facility for any reason, as that would just be far too confusing for her and you may have trouble taking her back.
People with broken brains do best with a routine and don't do well when that routine is broken for any reason, so allow your friend time to get into a routine in her new home and then you can go visit her and bring her some of her favorite treats if you want.
And I think the reason the memory care doesn't want TV's in the rooms is because they want the folks to mingle in the common areas and not stay in their rooms isolating themselves.
Give your friend time. She's going to be just fine.
It is quite common for someone with dementia, that when they are asking to go home, it is the home they grew up in. Back when life was fun and easy as a child. So with my Mom (97 yrs old) I had to quickly come up with an excuse why she couldn't visit her parents. I told her they were visiting the old country, to which she smiled and said "that's nice". Then I used that excuse each time she asked.
I am surprised the Memory Care isn't allowing a TV in her room. My Dad's memory care had no problem, but that was over 10 yrs ago. I would hate to miss those fun game shows of the past, and my favorite soap opera.