I believe I wrote it wrong, when I am saying to calm down my husband after his mother with dementia has been so mean and can be abusive which is better than it has been, I meant words that I can say to make him feel better. He feels so guilty with himself and gets very emotional and this man of mine has never been an emotional man. I just wanted to know how to help him. I appreciate all the responses about what to do with my mil and we are doing all and more just a wait and see thing now. Thanks to you all!
He shouldn't have to put up with daily abuse. There are really no words to say that make that 'okay".