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Can a neurologists pa or rn give me the docs I need to activate health POA for my mom? They're giving me an emergency appointment today but I dread taking my pia mom if they won't give me docs?

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My narc mom gaslit her psychiatrist, but her geriatric psych ward doctor gave me an official letter stating she was incompetent.
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Reply to JustAnon
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A POA does not pay out of their own pocket. They use the principles finances and when they are gone, they have to find other resourses. I would not co-sign a loan either. That means the POA is responsible if the person who took out the loan can't pay.

If Mom has no money, then the POA is going to need to get her on Medicaid and place her in a LTC facility. This will all depend on what assets Mom has.

The POA holds the purse strings. You really can't make any longterm decisions concerning Mom. Assisted living and Memory care are expensive. 9 yrs ago it cost my Mom about 5k a month for an AL. And the prices go up every year. You don't take out loans she can't afford to pay back. The POA is not obligated to give you financial info.

Medical POA does not give you the ability to place Mom. It just gives you the ability to talk to doctors and healthcare staff. To carry out her wishes as stated in the Medical POA. The Financial POA does have that ability because they pay the bills. They will need to show financial proof that the money is there for Moms care and sign the admitting papers.

I just reread your last post. You are having Mom evaluated for Assisted Living and you have no authority to place her. She can't sign for a loan because she has Dementia.

https://www.agingcare.com/questions/got-keys-bridge-loan-q-499102.htm
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Reply to JoAnn29
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You are so nice to ask, slaribartfast. My mom was incredibly difficult so I stole her keys. The assistant tried to reason with my mom about driving,in home care, etc but she's too stubborn. She tested on the low side of normal for the cognitive test. She did all the things narcissists do on the drive there and home....the oh poor me routine, you don't love me the way I loved my parents, I miss your dad (odd because she was punching him), etc. I just posted a new q because my sister may not want to co-sign on a bridge loan. She's financial POA...why would I do that?
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Reply to peanuttyxx
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Slartibartfast Jul 8, 2026
Just answered your new question :)
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What did you find out? How did the appointment go?
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Reply to Slartibartfast
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An actual RN, I would say no, they answer to a doctor. They can't write up orders. A Nurse practitioner I would say yes.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Peanutty,

Yes. The neurologist could possibly give you a letter saying your mom has a medical diagnosis of incompetence but not before testing, observing, etc that she is indeed incompetent. You might not leave with the results or it might be given to you at the end of the appointment. We can’t know the operations of your chosen doctors office.

In my experience, different I’m sure from others, the neurologist would always provide a report describing the complete summary of the appointment complete with diagnosis. I could get that if I waited or go back and pick up. The dr did not ask me if I had PO (I did and it was already in effect on date of signing) He simply reported his findings of how she presented etc. I just filed those reports along with my POA documents in case anyone ever asked. No one did. But, my name was already on all her financial and medical forms for several years before we visited the neurologist.

I have read on this site that if your mom presents well (aunt did) then best to take them on appointments at a time when their issues were either at their best (example: signing documents, going to social security office, going to the bank etc) or worse, going for medical help if possible. However well aunt presented, the test quickly confirmed her problems. If your mom has never been to a neurologist before or had cognitive testing, be aware that it can be a shock to her when she realizes she can’t recall the answers etc that are a part of the test. These tests are fairly standard and can be found online.

It greatly saddened aunt and made her realize that she did indeed have a need for assistance. in her day to day life she had become an observer and not a doer and much had slipped away that she didn’t realize was simply gone. I’m sure this depends on which areas have been most affected by the disease.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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Call ahead, find out how they handle this. Find out if there's a form for you, the family member, to fill out ahead of time. See if there's anything you need to bring with you.

For example in my mom's case she has Kaiser. There was a long form for me to fill out before hand. Once she saw the neuro and got diagnosed with Alzheimer's I had to submit a form through Kaiser's medical records request portal. Her doctor signed the form without seeing my mom based on the diagnosis.
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