She gets very anxious. I wish that my cousin and her dad would "see the light" that traveling makes my aunt much much worse. She barricaded herself in the hotel room (earlier this year, during a 3 day, close to home trip.) My uncle and cousin and in denial to a point, and my cousin can not afford this week long vacation without her dad paying. I have tried many times to explain that this idea is not fair to my aunt and bordering on abuse, but what can I do? My uncle wants to spend time with his 6 yr old grandson, but the "cost" to my aunt seems extreme. Is there a way to contact a social worker, quietly?
Is the patient familiar with cruise ships?
But to bring a dementia patient on a Disney cruise hoping to spend quality time with 6 yr old child seems over whelming for patient..
In my own experiences all those children running around would send my Mom into full scale panic attack, not mention being on a giant boat.. A relaxing cruise with mostly adults, now that's a different story...
It would be logistically easier and broadly comparable in terms of cost to bung Granny into respite care while Granddad, mother and daughter go off on the cruise. But apparently the family wants to include Granny, notwithstanding her dementia. That might involve some wishful thinking, it might even be irresponsible depending on how manifest the dementia is and how open about it they have been with the tour operator, but I can't for the life of me see how it's selfish.
I took my husband's daughter on our final cruise. I paid for everything. The deal was very clear. She was along to help. And she was an awesome help! Hubby was well enough for some excursions, and the three of us went. When he wasn't feeling up to it, his daughter stayed on board and played cards with him while I took a tour, and I stayed on board with him while she took kayak lessons. It worked fine (and would have been finer if he had been more "with it" as he had been on previous trips.)
There is NOTHING WRONG with bringing a family member or even a paid aide along on a trip with a person who has dementia or other special needs.
The only real question here is whether Aunt is going to benefit or suffer from a trip at this point in her disease. Uncle thinks it is a possible benefit; OP thinks it is dangerous. I really don't know that we are in a position to judge that particular issue, and it is the only one that matters.
Who cares what Cousin's motives are? Who cares about Uncle's no doubt complex reasoning? Is Aunt up for this adventure? That's what counts.
I really hope we hear updates about what happens. We do learn from each other.
As far as traveling with someone with dementia;
It CAN go very well, but it is not a "vacation" for the person traveling with them - they will be on alert 24/7. Planning ahead can help (chair in front of the door at night, keep light on in bathroom at night, door slightly ajar, have the nearest hospital located, and even drive by it so you know where to go in case of a problem, be reading a book on the front patio while they are napping in the room, etc). Caregivers get to sleep with one ear open all night. Sound sleepers might need to consider a door alarm "to keep out intruders".
I will say that I did take a good friend on his last visit to his beloved mountains in earlier stage dementia. It was a lot of work for me, but I would absolutely, absolutely, absolutely do it again if I had the chance. We were gone for over 2 weeks, and he improved physically, and was much, much happier than at home.
As for medical issues...I don't see how that applies since many people with medical issues cruise every day. If cruise lines turned down people with heart issues, lung issues, diabetes, handicapped, etc...they would have no one on their ships. Unless she gets violent or severely agitated, he would have to watch her no more than a mother should be watching her small child. I have been on many cruises and often see people who are severely handicapped confined to wheelchairs with family they manage just fine on the cruise with a little extra care.
It's one thing for people in wheelchairs but quite another thing for someone with dementia. There comes a point with dementia where they can't be left alone for a split second. Turn your back for a split second on the cruise ship, they could have wandered into the crowd. Since their brains are broken, they can't navigate something like that. Her broken brain makes her more suseptible to falling over board or getting hurt. Besides, if she gets violent and agitated, the whole family can be kicked off the ship.
to take this lady on a cruise. My first thoughts were
what if the ship has mechanical problems and no
a/c, sanitary problems...etc etc. But as old as this
question is I suppose it's kind of a moot point by
now. But I, as the lady's niece, would not interfer. This
would only cause a deep rift in family relations.
So, what would be the purpose of putting a person with dementia in such danger?