i was told sheis slowly dieing and hospice is here but this disease pd is horrible it has been very hard to watch andave advanced stages of pd im so lost now thats it no more family i feel like a orphan but mostly i feel so sorry for my mom this is the hardest thing i have ever done oplease someone did anyones parent h
Been there, done that.
passed and that was the hardest experience I have ever faced. He had lived
in my home for 14 years after my monther passed. He was active and gardened
and the last 4 years were so difficult, I stopped working and stayed with him with
some outside help. I was not prepared for the emotional loss at the end.
But I wanted to share with you that I immediately started teaching art classes
at the local Art Center ( I am a former art teacher) I found by getting out and
continuning in something that I loved helped with the emotional pain. I also
stated taking Yoga, and have focused on taking care of me....this 9 months
after and I have days of tears and emotional "fall-out" I really try to remember
the Great times we had not the last few months....although at first I had dreams
that disturbed my sleep. I am better now and miss him everyday but I am doing
things that I have always wanted even if I don't want to. When I teach I realize I
cannot focus on anyone except the students and find joy in their Joy of learning.
Please Honor YOURSELF if you want to cry or sit or walk ....Do what you need
and Know if you did not LOVE so deeply you would not hurt so deeply...and for
that I would not trade for anything....I was there because I loved and gave what
I had until the end...and I have peace in that. May you find blessings in this day.
Prolonged grieving, the type of grieving that so many of us caregivers must endure, is very different from the standard grieving process that most people must face at the loss of a loved one.
Because the usual process of grieving can be interrupted by the length of time we must watch our parents die, and the various stages of grief are not able to proceed in the usual steps and tend to get all mixed up, we can suffer from some trauma that the standard process would help us to avoid.
I agree that you should speak to the Hospice folks and for some help for yourself to cope with this difficult time AND for when you must face the true grieving after her passing.
Stay strong.
But to the excellent advice here, may I add some perspective that comes from time? It will get better. Not today, nor tomorrow, but eventually. My best advice is not to isolate yourself, even if you feel too bad to be in company. Accept help from hospice and others, gratefully. Surround yourself with family and friends who love you. And realize that we are all mortal, and many people understand and have been through what you are going through, even if some express themselves awkwardly. Involve yourself as much as possible with the world outside your door, and give as much of yourself as you can to everyone, not just your mother. Accept whatever love and support comes your way. Years from now, when the grief has subsided, you will honor her memory by living joyfully and fully. It is what she wants for you.
As my Dad faded, it became more difficult to keep him comfortable and keep myself from unraveling. Running on fumes, my sons became my Higher Power. For me, then, family support was key. Months before he passed on, I don't know how many times I went through the Stages of Grief.
It wasn't until the last day when I finally accepted his life had come full circle. I was relieved ... for him.
This family will be here 24-7. Just holler okay?
You have had your mother in your life for many years, and that is a blessing. Hard as it is on you, it is also a blessing to be able to be there for her in this last part of her life's journey.
Hang in there. You will get past this. You need time to heal.