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He smacks his mouth while he paces back and forth from the front to the back of the house all day long. Looks out the front windows and looks out the back window. Will not sit to watch tv or read the newspaper. He sleeps for a couple hours then pops back up and paces. He also sleeps fully dressed on top of the blankets. He will not leave the house unless he has a doctor’s appointment. It feels like he never gets any rest and like he never can relax. If we do get him to sit down for 5 minutes to eat, he pops up and finishes his meal while standing over the garbage can then goes back to pacing. We tried melatonin and it had no effect on him. We increased his tramadol and he was sleeping most of the day which of course is not good. Now we cut back on tramadol and he’s back to pacing but is eating like he is ravenous. He has heart failure so we have to provide his meals, snacks, and liquids throughout the day so his sodium and fluid intake is carefully monitored. He lives in our 1 bedroom apartment below us. He’ll drink and eat a week’s worth of groceries in a day or two if we leave his fridge and pantry stocked. He also picks at scabs from skin cancer on his head continuously and has to always be touching something. He has a ton of health issues and I feel like I’m on the phone all day managing his appointments, doctor and nurse calls, visits, etc. Has anyone been in a similar situation and have any tips I could try? I am a stay-at-home-mom to a 6 and 3 year old and a full time grad student and sometimes it feels so overwhelming. He was such a great dad to me growing up and I wish there was something I can do to help him. Thank you.

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Seems seems like he is dealing with anxiety issues. Maybe speak with his doctor about an anti-anxiety medication like Ativan. My husband had similar behaviors where he felt like he constantly had to be doing something. He could spend 15-20 minutes drying the table over and over again. But it's because they need something to do, physically. The doctor put them on a low dose Ativan and it took away his anxiety. See what the doctor says.
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I was quite amazed to see the answer I was contemplating was already provided. Sometimes back pain or neuropathy pain can make it difficult to sit or stand still. You can only sleep when completely exhausted and then only until it starts hurting again.
If your LO has an emotional issue he might not be able to express his pain. For me, sometimes, my only relief is when I walk or pace. A person will do anything to distract or ease the pain which would explain the overeating. Counterintuitive I know. It is a long shot but certainly a possibility. Go see his doc. Hopefully his drugs are not easily accessible. Be careful with that. Good luck.
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I would suggest an evaluation by a neurologist or neuropsychiatrist, there are medications that can help. They do virtual visits as well on zoom due to COVID if needed. This is common in people with dementia. Good luck!
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Imho, he needs to be seen by his physician and specialist stat.
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Our County Dept of Aging provided some assistance such as physical therapy and a babysitter. They also can tell you if there is any scholarships for respite care. Sometimes adult daycare facilities provide transportation.
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Prayers for YOU. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

With the weather getting nicer, would Dad want to go on walks? You could hire someone to come and get him once a day to walk for an hour or so. He may feel like he’s been someplace and is ready to sit. Depending on where you live and dad’s mental state, your six year old might be able to manage walks with grandpa.

Good luck. Let us know what works. There are so many awesome suggestions here. You came to the right place!
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This may sound silly but is he having any back pain? That will definitely make sitting extremely uncomfortable and/or painful.
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There must be some medical/mental cause and that needs to be addressed. You can't do more than you are doing. He is not going to stop by himself. Either a caretaker or facility to supervise and control him is his best bet.
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Does his doctor have any suggestions? Is he able to get outside or get any type of exercise to possibly use some of his excess (possibly nervous) energy ? CBD can be helpful- we gave Dad Charlottes Web brand b/c it’s carefully checked out and friends recommended it. It stabilized my Dad’s moods and was calming. He slept better too, but not more- just for longer periods back when he was waking up every hour and a half or so nervous and thinking he needed to use the restroom. Dad developed the shakes and got real edgy while on gabbapentin. We dropped it when we tried CBD. Quitting gabbapentin must be done carefully though with a doctors consent. I feel for you as it’s awful to watch our parents struggle and not be able to fix it quickly. Maybe listening to classical music, or watching fish swim in a tank at home would be calming? Will pray you find a suitable solution.
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Try music and exercise as well as massages. Most of all communication. Maybe if he’s taking medication it could be triggering something.
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This may not apply, but make sure no medication is causing this. Some can do so. In fact, over medication is often a big problem with older people. I used to consult to nursing homes. Some patients had pages of medication given daily. Each new doctor would add one without removing others. Obviously, not true most of the time, but a terrible problem when it is.
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Years ago I was asked to evaluate whether my agency could provide home care for a 48 year old woman with early onset Alzheimer's. She was living with her 24 year old married daughter. Reading your note was a flashback. This woman never sat down and walked constantly. The daughter had to provide food that she could eat while she walked. She walked 5-8 miles a day! Sadly, we did not have an aide fit enough to keep up with this woman, in addition to her living outside of our normal geographic area with no public transportation to get the aides there.

I am deeply concerned about this: "call with a psychiatrist and she suggested trying Zoloft". All of the suggestions are premature until you get to the root of what is going on. He needs a thorough evaluation. If there are neuropsychiatrists in your area, that is the best specialist. Until you know if this is a neurologic issue or psychiatric one, it could be detrimental to be treating.

Best of luck. This is truly a difficult situation.
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Ask his doctor for a referral to a geriatric psychiatrist. It sounds like he has anxiety and maybe some other mental health issues. A psychiatrist can better manage behavioral medications. He/She can also recommend non-medication treatments that might work. Another option after addressing mental health issues, is a referral to a sleep specialist. He/She can prescribe medications that treat the specific causes of sleep disturbances: difficulty falling asleep, difficulty staying asleep...

If his behavior is making it hard for the family to rest, it may be time for him to move into a residential facility. Please ask his doctor to evaluate him for dementia and mental competency. It sounds like he may have dementia that is severe enough to warrant admission to a memory care unit.
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We had this issue with my FIL. I am not sure which of these worked, or maybe it was a combination, but here is what we tried: His urine test came back negative for UTI but his family doctor put him on an antibiotic anyway in case he had an infection lurking somewhere. We put him on melatonin at night. With the doctor’s ok, we took him off Gabapentin and some other meds that ramped up his confusion. The doctor just said to monitor all the things he was taking them for and if he began to have problems we could put him back on. But he has not had any issues after 7 months off them.

While none of this helped the memory issues, it did help the confusion a lot and he has been sleeping at night.
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There are many causes of Pacing, including Anxiety and Depression.

If Dad's regular Dr can't figure out his problem, he should send him to a Specialist or even suggest a Physchiatric Dr to evaluate him.

Get a list of all his meds and see if any of them could cause depression or anxiety or any thing that would cause a person to pace..

you could even ask the Pharmacist where he gets his RX's if he could look at his Rx's.

What was the last Rx added before the Pacing started?

Was there any big change in your Dad's life right before this pacing started?

Prayers

Maybe the pacing helps him cope with whatever is the problem.

Maybe he just needs more to do.

Try having someone come out and give him a massage, have him take a nice warm soak in the tub, play some pretty relaxing music for him.

Buy Coloring Books, Paint by Number, Puzzles, simple Builing Kits for kids like Model Cars,
Wooden sailboats, ect to give him something to do.

Get him a cat or Lap dog.


Prayers
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HUGS - you have a lot going on. Folks usually pace because they are agitated, anxious, or bored. Anti anxiety medication may help. Can you get your dad to do some meaningful tasks to help you like matching up socks or sweeping. It doesn’t really matter if it’s done correctly, it’s feeling productive. Music and nature shows can also be engaging. I know the staff at the memory care my husband was at called Andre Rieu the Alzheimer’s whisperer because it called folks down and they loved to watch his DVDs. Best wishes.
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Tramadol is a narcotic-like pain medication, it wouldn't be doing anything to relieve his agitation and problematic behaviours. If his present doctor isn't willing to explore additional treatment options then perhaps a geriatrician or other dementia related specialist can help.
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TarynBMP Mar 2021
Sorry, the medication is actually trazodone! We are in the process of switching him over to a geriatric primary care doctor.
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Holy crap, your plate is overflowing! It must be overwhelming all the time. You are going to burn out. Please try to get some help for your dad so you can concentrate on your education and your children. That is really your first priority. There is only so much one person can do and I'd say you are exceeding normal levels.

My FIL paced constantly with his dementia as well. So I guess it's pretty common. Seems like he could benefit from a med that calm him down a little bit. With dementia, you won't be able to convince him not to pace, to sit, to not eat so much at a time, to not pick his head, etc. etc.
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TarynBMP Mar 2021
Thanks so much! My husband helps with him - gives him his medication, cooks for him, and is his personal barber. He actually prefers my husband to me I think. He’s always so nice when he’s around. Must be a guy thing. We just started having a homemaker come in twice a week to clean his apartment which has been a big help. He also has a visiting nurse come twice a week.
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Has his behavior been discussed fully with his doctor? Perhaps a med for helping his restlessness and anxiety would help. My dad took Zoloft and it was a big help, didn’t cause sleepiness either
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TarynBMP Mar 2021
Actually I just had a call with a psychiatrist and she suggested trying Zoloft! I will have to follow up because the prescription hasn’t been called in yet. Thank you!
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