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Taylorsmom - there is not a thing you can do that changes your mom's behavior - only she can change her behavior. That being said - you can set boundaries - what are you willing to do/not do? my mom is very similar. She will call every day - sometimes multiple times a day, text me, email me. Several years ago i told her i would call her once a week and i stick to that. Every Sunday afternoon we talk for an hour and i ignore her during the week calls, etc. It was just too much. As for visiting - it is too much for me to host - so we meet a few times a year midway for lunch, visit a garden or a museum, etc. You do not have to meet her demands but you will not be able to get her to stop making them. A book that was eye opening for me was "Toxic Parents" and helped me set boundaries, and stick to them. your mom will not like it - my mom hated it, but eventually she started speaking to me again :)

take care of you, give her what you can, but you decide what that is. You cannot make her life better, nor is it your responsibility
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