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It sounds quite serious. Does your dad's doctor know the situation and symptoms? Something is causing both of them to not recognize the danger of their situation. I would share that with their doctor. They may not be able to make safe decisions anymore. They may need help to protect them.

I don't think that just wanting to die is a basis for Hospice. I suspect the doctor will have him evaluated and treat him accordingly. The doctor can determine if he may be appropriate for Hospice. I had read that when a Hospice patient is in the home, they require family members to also share in the care. So, it may not be as much support as you are expecting. Or you might check out a Hospice Center, where the patient resides. All their care is provided there.

Their doctor may help with an assessment to see what type of help they need. Even with in home help, they may need more. If they can stay in the home, you might check with PACE. It's a Medicare program for in home care.

http://www.state.nj.us/humanservices/doas/services/pace/

If they need a nursing home, I would discuss the process of getting the paperwork from the doctor.
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Have you considered having him see a geriatric psychiatrist to deal with his depression? Was he taken to the ER after his suicide attempt?

Has he had extensive cognitive testing to determine the extent of his cognitive problems?

Have you called a local Hospice organization to find out about their evaluation procedure?

You are not in this alone! Please post back soon ao we can give support.
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