I have always managed stress well and take no medications to date. Overall I am healthy and exercise and have a spiritual life and support from family and friends. But I'm struggling to stay positive, focused and spend too much time crying. (I care for my spouse with leukemia, vascular dementia, wounds, etc). Just wondering if medication has helped anyone through this challenging time.
Antidepressants can be a life saver when you are going through difficult times. I know they also really helped my mother deal with the loss of abilities and such that she faces with her age. They helped me get her off the couch all day and encourage her to get out to interact with the world at least a little.
Caregiver is so very stressful on so many different levels. I started a low dose of an antidepressant (Citalapram sp?) almost 2 yrs ago and I just asked the Dr to up my dose…which is still rather low, but I found myself getting “weepier”. I never thought I had a problem managing stress, but the antidepressant really does make a difference. FYI most take a while to work, and some people have to try different rxs before they find one that helps.
if you feel you may need something to help with stress, please discuss it with your Dr.
If you can, you might consider going through a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner or Psychiatrist. Also, it does help to talk about what you are going through with, at the very least, a family councilor for validation of your feelings and some relaxation techniques. You will know if you are a good fit on the first visit.
good luck!
It does take the edge off of getting TOO involved.
Also, I find that yoga and especially, tai chi, calm and "smooth"
my energy.
I believe anti depressants are good for those who are clinically depressed.
However, there is a difference between being sad and being depressed. How can a person seeing somebody deteriorate not feel sad?
I know sadness overwhelms me from time to time, but overall I remain optimistic.
but regardless, caring for the dying is sad at the minimum, plus can generate a bunch of other emotions. And its stressful. No guarantees that an antidepressant will take away all that...
yes, I did mean Propanolol-tried to correct but didn't do it correctly, sorry!
Never, never stop or decide on your own to change your med schedule! Call the doctor first. They have been an important part of being able to keep my husband at home. No, I don't know everything, but hopefully something here will give some help to anyone considering anti-depressants.
Anyways talked to my doctor, weighed the pros and cons. We decided to temporarily try me on generic Zoloft. Im glad I waited so long seeing that things are going down hill with moms health and mind now,
It feels like the right time.
I'll keep ya posted how it goes
If you are feeling so overwhelmed, I would suggest that medication be your last resort. First, get HELP! I mean, physically caring for your spouse and taking care of the day-to day.
Also, talking with a counselor, not just family and friends, who are more likely to provide biased feedback.
Accept that it IS a Challenging time. It is sad to see our loved ones in this altered state. You are likely grieving the loss, which feels uncomfortable when the person is still living.
And the physical challenges added to our emotional stress can be a LOT to bear!
I get it. I, too, cried a couple times a week. And I still get so frustrated I yell and cry, "I can't do this anymore!"
But, I walk away for a while, and continue trying, because I would rather face the difficult challenges than to be without my husband. My role as his caregiver for the last 8 years has become my identity. I don't know what I would do without him. In our case, he suffered a stroke 9 years ago which caused considerable brain damage, resulting in some paralysis, and dementia, as well as inability to communicate or eat solid foods. But, ironically, he is remarkably strong and healthy, so at this point, he could outlive me.
I still get sad and miss the wonderful man who no longer is. It's ok to cry.
I don't know if medication will do much to change your outlook and certainly won't change the circumstances.
Best wishes to you, and feel free to message me any time you just want to talk and unload.
If you are resistant to the idea of having to take an antidepressant, consider this proposal: suppose I told you that tomorrow you had to walk barefoot on hot coals. Or I could give you the alternative to wear tennis shoes...at any rate you'll be walking through fire, so why wouldn't you want to use protective gear? The right antidepressant is just like those tennis shoes. I hope this helps you.
Peace to you from Alabama.
We all have different limits too. What is one persons limit of how much stress they can handle might not be another persons stress. It's a personal choice, not for anyone to judge either way!
Mostly because of covid, smoking was to dangerous, and drinking just made me wanta smoke
Probably my dyslexia, I do things backwards. 😂
But your absolutely right.
And Sleep! That has been the one thing I've not gotten near enough of
I'm from a suck it up buttercup, kind of family so I long hesitated to get the help I needed. Couldn't understand why I was struggling so much with something I was supposed to be glad to do. ( Not my idea, but other family members felt I should feel priveledged and grateful to be a caregiver)
Of course I loved my sweet mom, but she needed a lot even in independent and assisted living settings. I felt horribly guilty for being so resentful, then my husband developed multiple medical issues, our marriage started to unravel and it was an absolute poopstorm.
I felt passively suicidal at times. Mainly, just hoping I would not wake up and deal with another day but the thought of having my son have to pick up all the slack motivated my a** to get some help and fill the RX.
It did help me become a more stable, calmer caregiver and less of a crying, screaming banshee at times. I was able to calm down and get perspective on things.
I used to scream in my car driving home from my mom's place or some other myriad of appointment or errands. It helped a little but not as much as therapy and medicaiton. My vocal chords are happier about it.
My mom passed away in January of this year, I took care of her for 10 years and for now I am still on it as I am working my way through all the complicated grief.
So I talked to my doctor and she put me on generic Zoloft, I did the whole half of pill , then the whole pill. Honestly it was rough. So so dopie. I could of cared less if I walked in front of a truck.
My problem is meds of any kind react very hard on me. So I rearly take anything other than an occasional Advil.
There are only a few cold meds I'll take. I'll never take Excedrin again! That was horrible. A muscle relaxer, I can't even pick my head of the couch. Coffee, only one cup in the morning, and alcohol 2 beers and I'm a puddle.
Back to the antidepressants, it really did help my anxiety, just the droopiness I can't do. So I talked to doctor she said only take half. So I did for the last week. And yesterday that extreme spaciness came back.
I'll call the doc Monday, but I feel in one way they are helping so much, most to gather my thoughts, my emotions. I hope I can figure this out soon
As I've mentioned probably 200x times now, I am a believer in meds for anxiety and depression. I have both conditions. In my case it's hereditary. I see a lot of misinformation on here and it bothers me, because this misinformation can stop a person from getting help they truly need. Such as....
- Taking meds for mental health issues is NOT weakness or running from a problem. Problem isn't going to go away, but meds can keep you from being swallowed whole while you're dealing with problems. Why would you want to suffer when there's an option to lessen that suffering? You're not going to win a gold medal for suffering the most.
- Thinking happy thoughts or just changing your attitude is not going to work. Yes it helps to think positively, but all the good thoughts or prayer or whatever cannot repair chemical issues in the brain. If you had diabetes, you wouldn't just wish for your pancreas to do its job. Your pancreas doesn't give two rusty nickels what mood you're in. If it can't do its job, you need to provide the help it needs. Same goes for brains.
- Anxiety and depression aren't things you can tough out. Just slogging through it for years can kill you. Not hyperbole.
- Times have changed. Meds aren't just for crazy people on the streets who mumble to themselves. No legit doctor wants to render their patient a drooling zombie. The goal is taking the edge off so you can function better. People think you take 'a pill' and then you're flying high, oblivious to anything bad in your life. This is just not true.
Would we not take Tylenol for headaches?? Or Alka Seltzer for stomach aches? It's the same kind of comparison. We need to all ask our doctor for help when needed, is the message to be taken from this post. If medication #1 doesn't help, ask the doc to switch to another type.
And what if I'm talking to someone, telling them I don't do antidepressants, makes me sound like I think I'm better than them. What if because of what I said they go off there meds, and they loose it, or comment suicide.
What if I tell someone they definitely should be on meds, and they go on them and they have a bad reaction.
I could never live with myself, so I will never judge that either way
But if a friend came to me with problems and asked what I thought, I'd give them my best opinion
But I'll never say to someone, that may be acting a bit off , you should take a pill. It's just so wrong on so many levels to me
They are meds, they can be a life savior for some, they can not be good for others.
And there is the case that they may cause dementia. Which is pretty much what we all want to prevent.
I had 4 boys, and a husband that was no help, had a good job but was a horrible over spender, and over eaters. I did everything, mowed the lawn everything that needed to be done for him and 4 boys
I was loosing it, as I think many in my situation would. Husband kept pushing me to go on meds. Even told the doctor I was nuts and he started pushing me. Did I need meds? Probably would of helped but what I needed more was help! What I needed more was the spending to stop . What I needed the most was for him to stop calling me crazy daily.
So I went on paxil, then that rebounded on the husband because, I just stopped caring about him at all. Then he started asking me every, did you take your pill, did you take your pill. You need more they aren't working. you need to go in somewheres figure out what's best cocktail of drugs for you.
Anyways he is my ex husband now! And is why I'm hesitant about prescription antianxiety meds
That is why I'm am such a firm believer that no one should push or tell someone else to go on them.
Tell your stories, be there for your friends , but never ever push someone either way. Push them to see there doctor, push them to get help
But never tell someone they should be taking something, or they shouldn't be, support them!!! Do not push them.
But stop the judging. Because you don't know what's really going on
My husband wanted me drugged up so he could control me better. And got are family doctor on his side.
To this day I will not see the same doctor my now husband sees.
At This point, I personally choose not to medicate myself to manage the stresses of caregiving. I admit I’m really struggling and have reached out to counseling. It rubs me the wrong way that I use meds then the situation is tremendously lopsided for me to bear all the burden. My current goals (and actions) are to address the demands that are causing the stress. It’s a work in progress, I may or may not succeed but that’s where I am today. Tomorrow may be different. My admiration and respect to all of us in this journey. It is a hellish road.