Do I need to take her into that care center?

I promised... I will take care of her until one of us dies... This may not be right for everyone, but it's been the two of us against the world all of my life. I owe her this. as painful as it may be. At least for now we have the resources to keep her in my home. I pray it will always be so. She worked all of her life up to age 99. I'm one of the lucky ones who can get help and she saved her money. Good luck everyone who is going through this tough time and keep in mind that one day each of us may face this dilemma. If Mother was able, she would still be working and taking care of herself and helping out here in the house. This is not her fault. Old age sucks.

Hi, Although have replied already few days ago, I would like to add the following. I am now 63 years ONLY. But since 6 years live is very tough for me. I have had a very hard job (home caring for elderly people) and sometimes I had to lift people of up to 123 kilos out of their bed / chair etc.. because of their illness (heart attack / brain problems or severe dementia, as a result of which they could not help in any way to stand up / sit down). Doing so for several years, my back is totally damaged. I had several operations and now have a neuro stimulator. This helps a little bit, but also have to take heavy drugs (opium derivates) to have my pain a little bit under control. However I still have days, sometime I have periods of up to 7/8 days that my pain is so severe that I can hardly leave my bed or sofa to go to the toilet or the kitchen to fetch me something to drink or eat. My eldest sun is now 41 years, and I will NEVER accept that he or his wife would give up their jobs (even partially) to take me in their home so that they can take care of me. My other children life too far away, so that is not an option. Now I live in my own flat and have elderly care at home 4 x 4 hours a week by 2 different women, who are fabulous. If necessary, I will have to sell my flat so that I have enough money to take more home care, and hire a small flat. So I still can go on for many years. Or I could live in a "service flat" (here and in Holland as well) this is provided by the city / government). The flats are rather small, but they have lots of facilities, such as direct alarm with the 24/7 permanent supervision. Furthermore, I can go to the restaurant for my hot meals every day, weekends inclusive. If necessary, they bring the meals to your room. Furthermore, there is always a nurse present. Also lots of amusement is foreseen. For instance, each week some artist comes singing songs which were hits in our young years, or playing all kind of games, people who come and read books or articles from newspaper etc. Also one can take a bath 2 or 3 days a week in a jacuzzi, with a chair lift. Furthermore, services as hair dresser, pedicure and manicure is provided.
I would prefer this above a nursing home, because in my flat I still can decide whether I sleep until 0900 hrs, and in a nursing home, everybody is to get out of bed at 0700 hrs because breakfast is served between 0730 and 0800 hrs. Also I wld be free to look television until 20 / 2100 hrs. So a lot a personal freedom. Moreover the rent is depending on your income, and you have not to pay enormous amounts as for a private flat, so that no money is left for food, buying new clothing, presents for the grand children, etc.. I do not know if this system is known in U.S. but I find this a super solution for people who don't have serious dementia and still can walk a bit in their flat. I even could keep the people who are coming now each week, so that help from outside is possible. In case such service is unknown in U.S., may be it is a matter you can take up with the the city where you live, the government of your state etc... I am very happy that my sun, despite his 70 to 80 hrs work weekly is still doing some shopping for me, taking care of repairs, painting, etc..
As stated previously I have taken care of my husband with Alzheimer's until I was rock bottom. And then I also had to take the decision to place him in a good nursing home. Very very painful. But as my doctor said : take care of yourself as well. When you have a complete crash, you can't take of your mother either. With all my best wishes and a big hug.