My mother recently passed away and 4 of my siblings made arrangements with the local funeral home for cremation as I was unable to be present. When they had called me before the final decision was made on what expenses they where considering, I had indicated that there was an alternative cremation services that could have offerred a savings of $350 on the $2800 total bill. They indicated that that wasn't enough savings to make it "worth the effort" and I agreed that if they were all OK spending the extra money to go ahead and have every thing taken care of locally. Immediately after the memorial, my oldest sibling confronted me that I owed my other sister $470 and needed to write her a check immediately because she had put it on her credit card. I indicated that I would take care of it. The next day I asked my sisters for a copy of any receipt/invoice from the funeral home and I would make prompt payment of my portion. The response was that "it was too much to ask for at this time while everyone was still healing". I replied for them to take as much time as needed but to fulfill my obligations and responsiblities as the head of household for my family I needed transparency in our mother's end-of-live expenses. Now, all my siblings say I'm being unreasonable, that I'm hold my payment hostage, and to just pay up. Is it really that unreasonable especially when as head of household I have to be finanacially responsible to my spouse and children?
Even adult children can have a bad reaction to their parents' divorce. If that's the case.
No need to keep at this, no matter what we think about asking for documentation of funeral costs.
My husband was the 2nd oldest of 6 and when his father passed (mother & eldest brother had both passed several years earlier) we left all the arrangements up to the siblings that had been his caregivers. Fortunately Dad had prepaid for most expenses when he had arranged for Mom’s services and we split whatever else there was for expenses between 4 siblings. One sibling was estranged from the rest and remains so today, but we all made certain that she and her children were included in all memorials to Dad and arrangements were communicated to her through the Funeral Director.