My family members and I have taken on the responsibility to help care for my 92 year old loved one. Her husband of 69 years passed away in February. She wants to remain in her home and that's also what we want for her. She has had 24/7 care through an agency since her husband's passing. My loved one does not have any children and three of the four of us that are helping her stay in her home live out of state. My mother is the only family that lives in the same state. Because of there not being much family around and because we truly care that our loved one is okay, my family placed Blink cameras in the house (well before caregivers came into the picture) so that we could monitor things and would know if an emergency came up. The caregiving agency was told about the cameras when they were brought on board and the cameras are in no way hidden. They are out in the open and can be seen.
The caregivers have a big problem with the cameras and go so far as to move the cameras, turn them upside down, and hide them. It has gotten so bad that a caregiver just sat in front of one of the cameras and started cursing at my family and is now walking around the house with no shirt on.
Is it uncommon for people to have cameras when there are strangers in a home with their loved one 24/7?
If the agency agreed that they are fine with their caregivers being on camera then there should not have been a problem.
Were the caregivers told they were going to be on camera? That would have been the responsibility of the agency who employs them to let them know.
When I’m visiting their three bed, two bath small condo, that the three oldest daughters and our families relocated them to, after 43 in their big split level, that they stopped taking care of responsibly, and mom could barely get up the stairs, I felt pretty sure cameras were installed and whenever I am in their home, I’m not left alone with my parents. Our sister guards her mommy and daddy from the oldest two daughters, me and two year younger sis, cause we are as different from her as it gets, raised by parents that did not let us do whatever we wanted, there is a 14 year difference, between me and my youngest fulltime caregiving sister. She is in the job cause she never left home, and she knows to let mom and dad do as they please, the same way they expected nothing of their youngest daughter. Us older kids did not get this extraordinary privilege and we have always been dutiful to our parents. But the oldest three began our own lives, had our own family.
If caregivers paid to take care of family members are upset to have cameras on them at all times, try being a daughter who has a sister that feels she must protect her parents from, for no damn reason. I always behave appropriately, could care less if she is recording me, and a mentally ill note, from our youngest sister, let us know she is saving every word on the fourway sister thread. When I expressed a frustration that she shared no actual medical information, she blasted me with 30 screenshots, taken of conversation from the fourway sister text chain, she considers evidence she does give us info. I could have used those same screenshots to prove my case to be true. It is maddening, the crap she writes to us as tho we know nothing about memory loss disease, medical issues, and her condescending, patronizing behavior, makes it tough to hang in there for our parents, cause they created this monster.
I appreciate this forum cause you folks helped me realize it is their problem and I am not obligated, should have no fear of guilt cause my parents aged badly, no responsibility for their own health. They have all the health problems that lead to dementia, and their two oldest daughters are doing everything to break the generational curses, in our dysfunctional family.
I will never do to my son and daughter what my parents did to our younger sister, and she sadly owes them, cause she never left them. Her enabling turned them into people that left us much earlier than necessary. Our parents did not become the partners they needed to be, to take care of themselves, like their older children are doing now, in our 60’s.
I will never cause a fight or try to take over my mom and dad. I will visit often enough to ensure they are safe, and until they ask for help, our youngest sister will bear all the burden for the choices she alone made. I am certain I will have zero relationship with her after our parents die, as well as the third down narcissistic horrible sister. Us two older gals will look out for each other and our husbands, encourage each other to keep moving, and none of us are taking the medicine the other four family members do, cause they depend on pills to keep them alive. Vitamins are what us four oldest, next generation family members take. We benefitted from knowing some health things truly matter, and moving is one of them. Mom stopped moving way young and now dad had to sit next to her every minute, cause she is afraid of life. Memory loss disease is hell on earth, but much can be avoided, if one just doesn’t sit 24/7. Cameras don’t bother me. Film away. ♥️