It’s been three months since mom passed, no cards or flowers. Nothing. I get it people are in their own little world and don’t care. I don’t know where to put this topic sorry if I put in wrong place. It feels like you're alone and no one cares no one asks how you're doing, it’s been a struggle. No one calls or texts, when they get sick I’m not going to care at this point talking about her side of the family. She wanted her cousin there but her jewelry line is more important I guess I am just a step not related to them. Just a lot going on work helps and lots of therapy.
I don't know what's wrong with people these days, I find some people (not all) have been selfish and only care about themselves. It's become a world where people feel entitled and lack empathy.
When my neighbor's husband passed away (and I don't know my neighbor that well) I brought her a box of assorted desserts from my local bakery.
Good for you for going to work and seeing a therapist.
Sending you hugs,
Jenna
Flowers and cards are more formal and perhaps people are getting lazier and more casual and do not want to bother with "old fashioned" conventions.
But for no one to acknowledge you loss or express sympathy has me worried for you about your own social contacts and friendships. Do you have people in your life who care about you?
Is it possible that someone did a memorial via Facebook, that you were not aware of?
I know it might sound strange, but FB has a function where people can write their memories and condolences on a memorial page. It's actually very nice.
My brother committed suicide during Covid, he was 60, and absolutely not one person sent any condolences.
I figure I really don’t have any relationships that care.
Seems as if no one has the time to drop a card from the dollar store anymore.
I have learned that you truly are here on your own, with only prayer to help you through this time.
Thank God I have a caring Husband.
And please accept my sympathy for your loss. Being a caregiver consumes one’s life. And when that person’s gone, there’s a big hole.💕
After my Dad passed ( before covid ) my mom got a ton of cards and on my side I got a couple of cards with the vast majority of condolences on facebook. Basically ‘sorry for your loss’ and then never mentioned again and on to making posts about biscuits or whatever. I don’t expect special treatment but it does feel very hurtful and dismissive.
I think people who haven’t been in a similar situation don’t get it, plus social media makes it easy to pop one’s head in and out of making statements without getting involved. The generation gap in mom’s treatment and mine was so obvious . It’s really put me off social media culture. That said I’m not great at flowers and cards but I will call and also reach out with a note and my # as well.
I’m grateful for the few who did step out, and now that covid is winding down here I’m leaning further away from what I call the ‘false world’ of social media.
Big huge hug to you, I hope you find some peace soon. And thank you for bringing this topic up! Hugs again
I am sad too that my niece didn’t teach her sons to write thank you cards and I finally cut out gifts to them as they live out of state and I never knew if they liked anything I sent. Even my niece who was raised by my sister isn’t too great about thank you cards. I guess this is a sign of the times but it’s a sad sign.
For me, I will continue to call and send cards and hopefully it will help the person and set an example.
Close friends do still send cards and or flowers tho sometimes they opt to donate to a charity in your mom's name.
I myself prefer visiting and giving flowers to the sick while they are alive as they don't know anything after they're gone.
Other family members might not think about giving flowers to family members thinking the loss is theirs too.
I'm sorry no one is at least calling you to see how you're doing. A lot of people seems like they don't know what to say to someone.
I agree that a close friend or family member should have called or sent you a card.
Praters God will let you find peace with your mom passing and know that even tho you'll always miss her, the pain does lessen but never really goes away but you're stronger than you think and you can do it.
I give you this one thought to keep - I am with you still - I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow, I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain, I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush, I am the swift, uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not think of me as gone - I am with you still - in each new dawn.
you are in my thoughts even though I don’t know you.
* We do not know the relationship(s) you have with friends or family.
* We do not know the relationship(s) your mom had with others.
I will say that cards helped me tremendously when my mom died although not everyone sent me a card. People respond in their own ways, not necessarily how we would like them to respond . . . which happens all the time in life when we have expectations or project how another 'should' be / behave. I feel for your pain and feeling alone, not acknowledged for your loss. We here care about you. We feel your loss and send you hugs and understanding for your loss.
Gena / Touch Matters
My dad transitioned this past February and although he was 100 years old we were not expecting it. We had celebrated his 100 birthday in September 2020 with a drive by parade and the turn out was awesome, when he transitioned in February the response was good but what surprised me was that the people I expected to send a card, call or attend his graveside ceremony did not, I was hurt by that but there were people who I had lost contact with who came through. The relatives disappointed me likewise, my dad was the second last to survive of 12 brothers and sisters, I would have expected more but I’ve learned we cannot depend on others no matter who they are because you will be disappointed. Continue to be you and please don’t be stressed on how uncaring society has become. I pray for you God’s richest blessings and peace!
Take care
Sometimes, the people most likely to express concern are simply never informed. Older people often read the obituary section of the local paper, but young people almost never do (may not even read a local newspaper).
After the death of my sister-in-law, my niece mentioned looking over her mothers address book. An actual paper "address book" is a rarity in today's world but used to be very common.
I suggested she look at some of the addresses of people who lived a distance away, especially look for people whose names she recognized. They could be old friends who would have no way to know of her mother's passing. My suggestion was to send copies of the obituary and a brief note stating that, since their addresses were found in her address book, they must have been (or were) friends and might be interested to know of her passing. It took only a little extra time but she received several cards of condolence from grateful recipients.
Being elderly myself, I'm often left wondering about old friends or acquaintances...where are they...are they still alive? I'm also of a generation that still sends condolence cards and will send one if I have an address to which to send it.