My husband wants to be evaluated to prove he can still drive! What if he passes? There will be more confrontation. I can’t let him drive any longer. Dr said he would order if we wanted it. I hate to say no to my DH. He thinks it’s going to prove he can drive. Any thoughts on this ?
This is my experience and suggestions:
* Read webinar TEEPA SNOW re this issue (elders driving, no license).
* Dismantle part of the car so it will not start.
* Hide or change the keys so the door(s) won't open.
* If license not renewed, make the DMV the 'bad guy' - not you. Take yourself out of the equation.
* As necessary, alert local Police of situation (in case he calls them) - my client reported her son to police ... so he had to let them know as she was calling 'often'.
* Of course he thinks he can drive. These thoughts are based on fear of losing independence. And, it is a lot of independence to lose from my perspective.
* Perhaps, if safe enough get him a three wheeler bike. My 101 year old client still rides ! and just stopped driving. Although she is one in a million. Still, she now relies on her bike for transportation and is fiercely independent.
* I've read that some medical providers do not want to be bothered with this - so even if a letter or no letter, at times the DMV hands are tied. DO what YOU have to do to potentially save his and others' lives. Gena
On the downlow, I asked her general practitioner to intervene.
Testing progression of dementia was part of her routine checkup.
About a week or so later, My mom received an ominous letter from the state:
she must surrender her license within 30 days. Only after doing so could
she retest.
Surrendering her license was traumatic. I pretended to be as upset as she was.
I said the doctor has no choice but to notify the state of his findings.
I also said "Mom, I know you can drive. Your a better driver than I am (actually true). But the doctor-and I-are concerned about your forgetfulness while your driving."
We talked briefly about retesting. A few times she forgot she no longer had a drivers license, and I'd have to reexplain. Shortly thereafter, I simply did all the driving.