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We are human. I hate getting impatient with my husband but when I'm lying in bed and wake up hearing him pee in my bathtub yet one more time, or the smell wakes me up and I know I have to get up in the middle of the night to change him, change the sheets, clean the carpet, etc, etc, etc. what did help was finding a nursing home that provided respite care. I placed him for 5 days, got the best rest of my life, and now he's home and I'm refreshed and much more patient. I keep the bedroom door locked so he can't wander far and I'm right there if he needs anything.
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She needs to be evaluated by a physician. Do you know WHY she has the urge to urinate every one or two hours? Does she do this during the day, also? A simple bladder scan prior to and following urination will tell if she has urinary retention with overflow or not. Or perhaps she has a urinary tract infection or irritation. She is 94. This is exhausting for both of you.
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A possible help might be to hydrate her a large amount during the day time but give her less fluids before going to bed.
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Please update your site with more current inquiries! The majority of these questions are at least 5 years ago.
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You're an encouragement to me. I try to look at it as one day at a time. You are humble and bless you because you are. Keep loving her, as she did you when you were just a babe.
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Thanks for sharing. We are human. But, you keep on trucking because you have a humble spirit and you can find peace in that. I go through the same thing and my husband did too until he lossed his mom Christmas Eve.
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I don't think that having to get up multiple times a night because of an elder is a minor thing. Interrupted sleep/sleep deprivation is a form of torture.
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All advice sounds good and anyone would get a little unnerved with loss of sleep. Your Mom included. There has to be a physical reason ( Maybe a habit too by this time) for having to urinate this often through the night. I've read about many reasons. The urologist is your best bet instead of going from one doctor to another. There is med.s to slow that bladder down. There is the kegal exercise but at her age she probably wont do that . Somewhere there is a solution and I wouldn't settle for less. Lots of luck and do get someone to stand in for you while you get some zzzs. You can't go on like this. I know. I tried it and had to get help.
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Hello! I can definitely relate to this because I care for my grandmother have been doing it for four years and it's nerve wrecking at times especially when she gets up at 2am or 3am to go pee or sometimes she will just pee in the bed and lay in it even though she uses a walker and can walk pretty well on her own. Sometimes I really feel like giving up because I'm a full time college student and have been caring for her ever since my mother passed away (she was her caregiver until then). A lot of these answers were very helpful, so glad I found this forum!
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Check her medications.... the culprit that the doctors just would not believe but finally let me take her off of it.......... Aricept.
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idea for Yemima: you said "ever since my father passed ..." I have noticed that some women don't know who there are unless they have a man. My sister is 70 and is looking for a new boyfriend. Maybe you could get her an attentive boyfriend and she would feel happier. It's an identity thing.
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Honey if this is your only thing, God bless...My mom is in an assistant living place and it takes 3 nurses and 6 children to care for her...she is never in a good mood and this has been the case since my father passed 11yrs ago...she wont make friends and just wants to be miserable...out of the 6 children I spend at least 12 hours a day at least 3 times a week with her....she runs the poor nurses and me ragged all day and well into the night....Lord I love her to life but like you sometimes I just sit and cry......
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Sound like "overactive bladder" the constant urge to go connected to nerve damage. But there are many treatments for overactive bladder. Treatments include medication, bladder retraining, electrical stimulation, and surgery. Caffeine, alcohol, carbonated drinks, spicy food, citrus fruits and juices, artificial sweeteners, obesity, constipation contribute. Also if you are not using a bed-side potty, she might be able to manage that on her own.
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My father was on Aricept at the time too. Wow- long gap in this posting- lost my father January of 2013 (almost 96) and then my mother recently.
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Aricept was the culprit for my Mom. I kept meticulous notes on when she started which meds and what was going on with her. It took me a while to figure out it was the aricept for dementia and a while longer to convince her doctor to let me get her off of it. She was constantly having swollen ankles as well. I'd take her out and she'd have to pee every 20-30 minutes. Stopped the Aricept and the problem disappeared. She goes long periods without having the urge to go.
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New to site and really feel for many of the problems described. Some very nice suggestions (love the Mr. Ed door story). Not sure if the problem was physically helping with bed transfers (causing lack of sleep and possible caregiver injuries) but if so there may be another possible solution. If a person has an assistive aid for safely doing bed transfers (saving injuries like broken hips) and possibly a bedside commode (if really necessary) it may allow more sleep. My 92 year old father (230#) was getting up more than a dozen times a night but woke my 88 year old mother to get him out of bed every time. I invented Friendly Beds so neither of them would get injured.
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I think doc prescribe meds that sales repeps give to them as samples becase usually along with the samples are gifts like a free lunch or office supplies-it is great that the folks here are knowlageable and help each other and drug companies do advertise their products.
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Thank you so much Maria for your kind thoughts. I did want to let you know that for about the last 4 months, my Mom was taking 'Depakote', which is an 'epilepsy' medicine and it kept her from having those terrible bouts of hallucinations/up and talking for days at a time. I don't know if it's something you want to consider, but it worked for us. I had to bring it up to the Dr. they did not volunteer this medicine as a solution; I got the idea from someone on this site. God bless and I hope that you are well and happy! KJ
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didnt read all the posts sorry to hear about your mom take care Maria
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Dear Spratlin my mom to has hallutiations and doesnt sleep for days just talks talks to things that arent their like shes in her own world docs dont know whats going on they allways blame it on infection this happens every three or four months it takes her about two weeks and then shes ok again for a few months then it comes back doc wants me too ride out the storm but we cant take it and allways call 911 she goes in the hospital for a few days she also becomes very weak so she goes to a nh for theraphy then shes ok comes home and in a couple of months here we go again.How many times has his happened to your mom? Its very frustrating because know one seems to know whats going on I thought I was the only one with this problem ?I thought it was Lewy Body Dementia but doc says no I took her to a specilist but they dont know wh,at going on either keep in touch and let me know if anybody comes up with some answers and Ill do the same God Bless Maria
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Thanks medlaw and Norene. I appreciate your thoughts and wish you both all the best. Hugs! KJ
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KJ: I am sorry to hear of your mom's passing. Condolences to you and strength to you in your sorrow.


Norene
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Please don't feel alone. I thank God for each day imhave my mom even though she is not the same. I am also very close to my mom. I lost my dad 20 yrs already in a pedestrian automobile accident out of state. Ever since my mom who was with me atbthe timebhas never left my side. I know I will be devastated when her time comes. I has asked God to take me first just not to witness her leaving me. I am in the medical profession and one of my patients came in one day several yrs ago and told me how devastated she was because her mom died suddenly with a heart attack. She cried and cried and we cried together because she said she used to have coffee with her mom.and now she is gone. Up to today she still cries, I have seen her in the past month. I don't know which is lesser pain losing one suddenly or losing someone after seeing them decline. No way is lesser pain for me. I can take almost anything with someone I don't know in the medical field but when it comes to someone you love I can never get over it...never... With my dads situation I still cry everyday, something I can never get over but this feeling kind of numbs you. No one can tell me to get over it...no one. This numbness comes to all of us. See the people each day going to work, the cars buses and trains still moving. Nothing stops in our world when we lose a loved one.. I noticed this when I lost my dad suddenly, I wanted the world to stop and grieve with me but it kept on moving. Know this is how life is, we keep living although we die a little inside. You will get stronger in due time because your mom would want that to happen. It all takes time. God bless you for all you did for her. God saw it all because Hewasbthere. I am sure God has wrapped His loving arms around your mom and welcomed her to eternal life. God bless your mom
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Thank you Sharon. I know it sounds odd, but I haven't really been able to talk about my Mom's passing with my friends or family, even though they are all so wonderful. I am so sad and lonely most of the time. I still don't sleep well and I miss her so much. I thought I would be 'ok' by now, but it is still so hard to be without her. Hugs to you and thanks again for your message.
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I am sorry to hear about the passing of your mom. I posted an answer and went back to see if it was posted and notice a later post by you. Please accept my deepest sympathy. You Loved your mom and your mom loved you. She'll always be with you. Sharon D.
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It's Amazing just how many of our Elderly parents do the same things. I care for my mom won is 93. she can't talk anymore due to many strokes. She can see, hear and her thinking is still sharp but is slower in response. her control of her bodily functions is still in tack Thank God until last night when she moaned all night and got up 3x to urinate and a lot. On the way tom the bathroom from the wheelchair to the toilet out came the urine. I could not believe this because shenhas been excellent with this. Another thing is that shenkept on akin up about every two to three hrs and either pointed to Her mouth for water, juice or food. I would not feed her but I would offer her liquids. I told the nurse that comes every week about her waking up and she told me that elderly people only need about 4-5 hrs sleep no more so I should put her to bed much later. Now I put her to sleep at 10 or 10:30pm vs. 9 every night. This works out so much better. she wants to go to sleep but I keep her awake by calling her name orngiving her a snack which also helps to keep her stomach full. At 10pm or so she is very tired and full and sleeps all night. Please try keeping your mom up until later and take her to the bathroom just before she settles down for the night. also make sure she has alittle something, even like a couple of spoonfuls of farina in her stomach to satisfy her through the night. This actually worked for me ...unbelievable.
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Thank you for the thoughts 195Austin. I'm sorry to tell you all that my Mom passed away about a month ago now. I'm am very sad, every day and I miss her so much. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you that are so blessed to have your loved ones with you, even though I know and understand all of the issues that come along with that same blessing. You are all wonderful for what you are doing. Stay happy and keep your sense of humor....hard to do, but well worth it. Love and Hugs, KJ
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KJ I am glad the ambien is working for you-it will make things easier for you when you can get sleep at night-keep us posted-we all help each other.
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So glad to see that I am not by myself, but sending prayers to you because I surely know what you are going through. My Mother is 93 and had a fall almost 2 years ago and had to have 2 surgeries "bore holes" to drain and relieve pressure from her brain. She lived by herself and had a great memory with no problems. Now, she lives with me and has the vascular dementia going on and she has me so confused that sometimes I think that I am the one with it! She has had her share of hospital stays and always bounces back. It has been a monthly thing recently to get her "recharged" like the energizer bunny because she doesn't want to eat or drink. She can absolutely be so out of it that you think it is that time and I am constantly checking on her to see if she is breathing. My cat is my "momsitter". She always lets me know if Mom is doing anything out of the way that I need to check on her more often. Recently, she got up in the middle of the night and fell in the bathroom and when I got to her she was all wrapped up in the bathroom curtain and had the shower rod wrapped around her too. She falls and luckily as of yet, has not reinjured herself. She was going to bed fairly early and leeping in until 10 or 11 o'clock. "my time" was from 5 o'clock when my husband leaves for work until she gets up. Now, she is going to bed at crazy early hours in the evening and sometimes wanting to get up when he goes to work. I always put her back to bed and tell her, let's wait until it gets daylight. Now, I cannot get out of her sight and she expects me to set in my chair with her all day and not do anything but watch TV or use my laptop. I "was" an active, outdoors, always on the go person and now I feel guilty if I get up and out to do anything that nedds to be done or I want to do. I have gained 35 lbs since she has come to live with us and "stress eat" constantly to "try" and calm my nerves. Some days I feel as if I am going to EXPLODE! Thanks for the stories that are so similiar to mine because I know that I am not alone. Just any suggestions that might help me out, if you all have any. Thanks for listening and good luck to you with your Mom.
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My mom's problem is she THINKS she needs to get up and go, so whenever she wakes up a bit, that's when she calls. Give me some acupressure points...LOL, anything to help!
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