I cared for mom in my home for 3 years. Her incontinence and her resistance to allowing us to toilet and bathe her made it very difficult to care for her. We moved her to a wonderful memory care. However now they are eating alone in their rooms due to the lockdown. I’m worried she will get depressed from being alone so many hours in the day. I’m worried she will decline or get infected. We have been FaceTimeing and window visiting but 2 days a week they are short staffed so those 2 days I sit home and worry! They can’t accommodate those options on those days. I have children so I do need to care for them and I don’t want anyone getting sick. Is anyone considering this? I got a 3 week respite but I’m concerned it will be too much when I bring her home. However, I’m home from work so at least we could be together.
signed,
worried
SO——-I asked the wonderful caregiver to tell her that DH and I were taking a short vacation to Ohio to see her two other nieces.
She always, ALWAYS loved it if WE went on vacation, with her or without her, and loved it when my cousins came to US for vacation, so I’m hoping that something about this idea will latch with her.
I will now call every couple days, continue to mention family names and familiar places, and hope that doing this will give her comfort.
There have been numerous Covid 19 deaths in local residential care facilities in the last week. I continue to be grateful that she is safe and secure WHERE SHE IS, and content with the fact that the NO VISITORS rule is being applied fairly and consistently.
He had been living alone. In memory care, he has no concerns about getting food, preparing it or being unable to get health care when needed. He is much better off where he is than living in the community right now, in my opinion.
Please keep in mind that it now seems to be happening is that if a resident should leave the facility for whatever reason - whether for couple of hours for medical appointment or visting others or a post fall run via EMS to the ER - the facility will NOT, again WILL NOT, allow them to return at all, OR, will require a private room quarantine 14/21 days with extra aides hired during quarantine &/or a negative Covid-19 test.
If your moms place should start to follow this, should you take mom home, & if Covid runs 2 cycles (which is what some models are projecting) this could mean late next Spring till some degree of normalcy & only then will places start letting new residents in. Why? Is cause there will be some herd immunity happening worldwide between outbreak 1 (Dec-now) and 2nd outbreak (next winter/spring) plus probably an initial vaccine available next year.
Friend of mine dads recently moved into AL and has a 90 day post surgery appointment next week. He had surgery right at beginning of Jan & done so that he would get this done before the move to AL. His place is “tiered” as has AL, NH & MC. Well..... New rules for the facility are now once in, you’re in with no leaving till all quarantines or risk assessments are lifted for the county. All care coming from the MD medical director of the facility or via TeleMed if your health insurance is making that available. If you leave, basically you are not guaranteed to be able to return. She’s trying to get it done via telemed but if that falls thru, there will be no post surgery follow up done. It is not feasible to have him move in with family, so they are attempting to make it all work.
Where we are, it’s a hot zone. & there have been 2 large facility outbreaks and several deaths. Both have been tied to transmission from IL/AL section as often the residents still have cars and were still going out & about till just recently. I’m sure this is driving having these restrictions in our area.
Imho the death toll is going to be staggering in the US. For the facilities, if they don’t hunker down & bunker down now, they don’t stand a chance to get thru this both for residents and staff.
I wouldn’t even consider bringing him home. I talk to him every day at least once on the phone. I want him to be as safe as he can and he needs to stay in the facility. He’s monitored constantly. He’s a triple threat, he’s 70, has underlying health conditions and mostly bedridden.
Keep your mom in her facility. It’s the best place for her.
And if YOU fall ill, not only have you exposed her, you won't be able to care for her. And you wont be able to re-admit her because she will have been exposed.
Please keep her safe...where she is.
The last time I spoke to Mama (one week ago today), she was extremely irritable and complained about everything, ending up with a statement of, "Oh, and if you have any guilty feelings about putting me here, you deserve them." (Thanks, Ma.) I'm afraid she'll go from aggravated to depressed, if she hasn't already.
Our problem is that we can't do any FaceTime or Skype because she's blind. Her old cellphone doesn't work in the facility, and she can't operate it, anyway, so I ordered her a new "geriatric" phone. It should arrive today, and I'll deliver it to her as soon as I can get it charged and configured for her use. The nurses have been very kind with setting up calls on facility phones for us, but I know they have enough to do with just taking care of the patients/residents.
Did I think about bringing her home? Of course. Did I do it? No. Now is not the time to be thinking about that. She is no doubt in the safest possible environment now, and that's for both of us. She is as isolated as possible from contagion, and the back and leg injuries that I sustained while caregiving are just now beginning to heal. Bringing her home would be a pretty dumb move at this point.
We all have to be strong, and pray that our loved ones are getting not only the care they need, but the emotional support they need as well.
At least you can FaceTime and do window visiting. Be grateful for that. It's better than nothing.