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Long story short...dad finally in snf after 25+ years of pd. My mom is still in their home, which is not safe for her for physical/mental reasons. Example....we need one more SS document to get my dad on Medicaid. Sister calls Mom every night to read her what came in the mail (online access doesn't work for 900 reasons). Mom may be lying or losing mail though. She calls my sister every afternoon to ask what she's waiting for, writes it down, them my sister calls back 6 hours later and mom has lost the note and hasn't gotten the mail. She has no $ left. Just the house. Sister and I are done after 50+ years of abuse. If I get the state to be her guardian, do we get any proceeds from house sale (upon her death) if any are left? Or does state keep everything. Don't get mad at me for this question....she has always had mental issues and won't take meds I finally got her on. She leaves me cruel messages just for having bottled water delivered. She punched my dad with pd for years. I'm just...done. she won't accept home aides. Doesn't have the $ to pay for them anyway. Refuses all suggestions for AL, moving in with her own sister, even an apartment.

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There's a service you can sign up for through USPS where they email you a photo of what you're going to get in the mail every day. Maybe that could help you? You wouldn't have to keep asking her to keep an eye out, you'd see for yourself.
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Reply to Slartibartfast
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What do you need from Social Security, the yearly Statement? The 1099? I am having a similar problem but with a government annuity I did not get a statement from. I ended up requesting the statement by mail.

You must have a local SS near you. Get Mom to call them, with you present, and have her give permission to speak with you and then tell them what you need.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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peanuttyxx 4 hours ago
Yes...we do but the next appointment isn't until late March. And frankly, the idea of bringing my mom there gives me a migraine.
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It may differ by state, but in MN where my SFIL was assigned a guardian, we were contacted about where his ashes should be sent (I think they always cremate). Then a while later they sent us a print out of how and where all his money was spent (and he had no money, only SSI) and how and where Medicaid paid for things on his behalf. He didn't even have a house because it was foreclosed on. But Medicaid would put a lien on it which would need to be satisfied before the inheritor became the new owner. The lien amount probably depends upon how much Medicaid spent on their behalf during their coverage, but I'm not positive of this.
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Reply to Geaton777
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If mom or dad uses Medicaid to pay for care, that leaves Medicaid the right to estate recovery. That means Medicaid getting some or all of the proceeds when their house is sold as is fair. The state being her guardian doesn’t have any bearing on Medicaid estate recovery. I’m glad you’re protecting yourself from further abuse and wish you much peace
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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The proceeds from your parents house sale should all go towards their care as it sound like your mom should no longer be living by herself either since she obviously has some form of dementia.
It doesn't matter that your mom refuses any and all suggestions of moving into a care facility, as because of her broken brain she shouldn't be given the choice. So if getting the state involved at this point will protect her from herself then so be it. And if they decide the house should be sold to pay for care for both your mom and dad, so be that as well.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Technically you and sister would be entitled to the proceeds, if any, but with the two of them on Medicaid I’d venture there might not be any. I’m sorry.
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Reply to PeggySue2020
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