Hi all. Well, my sweet mama fell on Thursday evening and broke her humerus in dominant arm. She also bruised her face as her head struck the wall. We are very fortunate there was no internal bleed as she is on Eloquis twice daily. Aside from breaking my heart to see her in pain I am really afraid she might not be able to come home again after this incident. She turned 94 on Monday and although I definitely feel overwhelmed being her live in and primary care giver but boy does the thought of mama not coming home make me incredibly sad. I feel awful when I leave her each day at the rehab. We have been in rehab before but with each incident my anxiety gets higher as she is getting older and more frail. I simply cannot afford to cut back my hours any more than I already have and am really worried as this is a major setback for her. Anyone had similar experience? How did things work out?
She recovered at home and after the removal of the cast, it took the pain several more months to subside. She was going to PT to try to regain strength and movement. She did her exercises faithfully as she was very motivated to return to "normal".
Honestly it is hard to know what is now normal aging or what is a result of the injury. She also has arthritis in her hands and other parts of her body. She needs help getting lids off jars, zipping up, tieing her shoes, things like that. She still drives, does yardwork and housecleaning, etc.
At our Moms' ages recovery takes so much longer and can be discouraging. Normal age-related decline is hidden in the mix, so I don't think anyone can give you an accurate answer to your question because it all depends on the individual.
I highly recommend she do PT faithfully and keep reminding her to be patient about how long it takes for her recovery. If she simply lost her balance and fell, I'd have PT work on that as well (my Mom was doing performing an unusual maneuver while wearing flipflops and moving backwards, then tripped over the shoes). Chances are your Mom won't get back to where she was before her fall but she may get close. I wish you both all the best!
I'm expecting it to be a disaster but I'll let you know.
Your mom may do much better considering it was just her arm, but will need significantly more help.
When my dad was 91, he fell at home in his independent living apartment and broke his hip (refusing to use a walker). After the hospital surgically repaired his hip, he was sent to rehab where he made no progress; Medicare stopped paying for his stay and they insisted he stay there permanently in their long term care (Skilled Nursing) section of the facility. I said no b/c mom was alive and they needed to stay together. So I found them both an Assisted Living facility to live in together, and with PT, dad started to make some progress. But he had a brain tumor (that was discovered during an MRI after the fall) and that wound up killing him 10 months later. His broken hip turned out to be a major setback indeed, but mostly b/c he had a brain tumor and never was able to walk again afterward.
What's important with your mom is that she can make the necessary progress in rehab TO come back home. If so, great. If not, then you can discuss alternatives, such as hiring in home help to be there with her when you aren't.
Wishing you and mom the best of luck and a full recovery for her.
She will do rehabilitation at the facility for a 3-4 weeks and then hopefully home again.
I have a meeting with her treatment team tomorrow morning to discuss treatment plan, expectations and so forth.
I hope your mom continues to be as independent as possible and stays healthy!
Personally, I feel that she needs many more eyes on her, either in AL or even MC since the pep talks may be beyond her reasoning.
My father fell and broke his hip at age 94, second fall and broken hip on the other side at age 96. He fell a few more times, but no broken ones. He was slender, about 135 pounds until the last month or so. He died at age 96.5.
He was a Vet, and I'm sure that made a difference.
She was in a rehab facility for about 6 weeks, then mom tried to take her home. That lasted less than a week.
She ASKED to be moved to a NH near her condo. She never went back to her condo, instead, she decided she was now going to die. She was really organized that way. While there, she slowly began the final slip.
Mom and I cleaned and sorted her condo, Gma was very much in charge. It felt so weird to be packing all her stuff away when she was still alive, but she was planning to die, and by golly, she did.
If she had WANTED to heal and go back home, I am sure she would have. But she was DONE.
She (and me) were in the hospital for 8 days and she came back home with me instead of going into a rehab facility.
She began physical therapy twice each week, and I also worked with her daily to regain her strength and mobility.
She healed amazingly and is still going strong at 95.
I think the most important thing is for your Mom to literally use her whole body (I don't mean working out, I mean physical therapy and daily activities of living) while she is recovering. My father passed away Aug 31 -- end stage heart failure and kidney failure; his visiting nurse explained that the problem was that he lost pretty much all mobility a few weeks before the end. Our organs and vascular systems require physical activity.
Final note: I would speak to her surgeon or PCP about helping her remain physically active, if you can. Also please bear in mind that Tylenol can do wonders for pain without the negative effects of a pain medication.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's hard to grieve the loss of a parent while they are still alive but as my father told me several years ago, this may be the hardest part. And you will be ok. It's going to be OK.
Take care,
Rachel
When my Husband slipped and fell and fractured his hip and had surgery and went to rehab I was worried about how well he would do, his dementia was pretty advanced at that time. I worried that I would not be able to bring him home after that.
I went every day and encouraged and helped during PT and OT (I actually gave them ideas how to work with him.)
(One of the things I would do is I would sit on his walker and he would push me around! One day the walker stopped moving and I thought he was just looing out the window and when I looked up he was no where near the walker, he went back to his room and just left me in the hall!)
See how she adjusts and then make a decision as to your and her next step will be.
BUT do begin to make the "What if" plans. Those plans should be in place anyway because you never know what is going to happen.
If she needs a bit more PT than is covered can she spend a bit more time private pay to get the therapy she needs? Or is there a place that does more intensive PT that she can transfer to now?
If she has to come home can she pay caregivers to come in and help out where and when needed?
I wrote this to say you have to go with your gut, because we don't really have the final say over life and death. In advanced age, anything can happen at any time. Just by reading other's stories here, you can see the endings vary. You know your Mom better than anyone else - do what you feel is the right thing to do, and prepare yourself to live with the outcome. I wish you and Mom a happy outcome!
It may be hard on you to have her in rehab or another living situation, but it will be 10x harder on mother if she doesn’t get the help she needs.
I don’t mean to sound cold, but mother probably doesn’t have many years left. She’s lived a long life and you’ve taken great care of her! But you can’t ‘die’ with her when she does pass away. There’s no real way to prepare for this inevitability, but try to weave more of you and your interests into this life now.
My grandmother passed about 20 years ago, but I remember her still working in my uncle's office at 91 yrs old - which she enjoyed...and one day, she took a fall in the office's parking lot - she bruised her face, like your mom did - and she had broken her wrist. Thankfully, she had a full recovery - physical therapy and a lot of rest and a home aide in her apartment - and for safety reasons, my uncle decided that she should stop working - my grandmother actually filed for unemployment benefits at 91 years old and when the attendant asked if they found suitable employment for her, would she consider still working - and she said an enthusiastic YES! That really kept her going.
She passed at 96 yrs old, but the years that she was working actually kept her much more vibrant, and having purpose, while being in a large office building filled with everyone referring to her as "ma"! She became very bored during her retirement. So, every situation is very different - and it, of course, depends on your mom's health and recovery status in order to make the best decision for her...and to accommodate what her health needs are. It's a very individual and personal decision, and also based on whether you can arrange any type of in-home aides to help support her and provide more relief for you. Also, there are some excellent rehabs that make a tremendous difference and improvement - maybe you can try to shift your mindset while she's in rehab by considering that your mom is being properly cared for in order to best support her healing.
Very best wishes and prayers for a very positive outcome ~
If Mom is just down the road at a facility that can help protect her while you're not there, that is a bonus for mom. Wearing a helmet and other protective gear may extend her life, but death is inevitable and that's where you might benefit from Grief Therapy (letting go is never easy when you love someone). You can keep your hours and income and still make time to visit and dine with her: finding balance is the key to success.
Best wishes!
It was a uti that finally ended her stint on earth though, her weakened immune system could not cope. So guess it just depends on the person and their own health.
But yes it is possible so here's hoping a full recovery for your loved one.