Our mother sleeps all the time with very few exceptions. We have mixed feelings about the upcoming holidays. On one side, there are no small children in the family at this point, so we thought to cancel Christmas this year. Knowing our mother is lying there in bed, aside from the birth of Christ, what else is there to celebrate and get together for? It's impossible to be jolly & merry, Furthermore we are both very "hands on" with mom so the stress of Christmas shopping, buying gifts, making meals, making the time to do all that would put so much stress on us. We also both work full time from home. On the flip side, we thought to maybe just have a very small gathering ....literally me and my husband and my sister and brother in law. Keep it low key this year. Thoughts? Comments?
We don't do family holidays, it's the time they ALL feel is appropriate to air any grievances they have. So, my husband and I do our own thing and wish the rest well. I am happy that I have this one memory of my dad at Christmas that brings a smile. I know he really enjoyed the drama free day as much as we did.
Do whatever you feel. Tradition isn't law.
if Mom is still eating, maybe a few small spoonfuls of her favorites. Put a holiday movie, the Hallmark channel, Christmas music from years past. Or football if mom was a fan a few small decorations near her bed and dinner table, a small or itty tree at xmas, some twinkle lights
im giving mom some warm socks, new nightgown and some lotion. And I’ll sit with her as long as I can
its not just my last with her, it’s her last. I want her mind to feel free to wander through happy holidays in the past.
if you need encouragement, watch the old cartoon version of the Grinch Who Stole Christmas. The message is worthwhile.
Even in adverse situations, wartime, illness, grieving… remember to feel love for each other, joy, genetisity, appreciation for your own health and even kindness toward strangers.
Even when life seems impossible, there are people in our community and world who have it much worse.
if you don’t want to give gifts to each other and still are financially able, consider helping an immigrant family or even sending cards to those living in safe houses or making a meal for a shelter. It might make you feel better somehow.
None of us knows how much time we have left. Every year can bring more empty seats around the holiday table.
i wish I could spend even a moment of hospice with my parents so I could feel the warmth of their hand, watch them breathing and tell them I love them once again, even when they were too sick to respond. Try your best to appreciate the very simplest blessings.