Has anyone ever had an aide just stop showing up?
So we hired this lady who at first seemed great, until she wasn't. First she'd show up late. Then she'd show up late, leave early. Then some days she wouldn't turn up at all and eventually she stopped showing up altogether. No phone call, no text message, nothing. Not a word.
My family and I are trying to find another aide, but meanwhile we're left wondering what happened. I thought maybe something happened to her, but my aunt tried texting her from a different phone number posing as a potential new client, and got through to her- surprise, the aide who ghosted us is available those days.
What gives? Does this happen often? We were paying this person out of pocket, mind you, not going through an agency (horrible experience!) We hired her off of care.com. My aunt thinks that maybe this lady stole something of value, but I haven't noticed anything gone missing. And this lady is from a rich area, according to my aunt she has money (but then why is she caregiving if she's "rich"?)
I personally don't think it's theft. The aide never struck me as the type of person to steal, especially from an elderly person. You never know, but my gut says no. I think either she got offended by something, or something happened with her ill child and she had to suddenly quit, tried to give warning and couldn't get through to my aunt. She always said she had trouble contacting her. But then, leave a note or something. Maybe she did and my grandmother threw it out? Who knows.
What are your thoughts? Has anyone had this experience? Has anyone had an aide steal from them? What happened? Please share. Any advice/input would be greatly appreciated.
All hired caregivers (private or agency) know how our line of work operates. We all know that any one of us can be dismissed for no reason at all. That we will be kicked off an assignment without warning if cheaper help is found. We also know that families and agency bosses will look us right in the eye and tell us what a wonderful job we're doing while sticking the knife in our backs at the same time.
The most likely reason the aide ghosted your mother is because she found a better position and wanted to make sure it was solid before actually quitting her previous one.
Employers do the same thing.
On my last job (I had been with this client over 4 years) her son decided that myself and the night aide were going to get two weeks off (without pay of course) over the Christmas holiday.
This sounded great because in almost five years of service with the client, I had all of one week off (without pay) because I was able to arrange respite care for her in a nursing home.
The son claimed he was giving us a respite break and was bringing a respite live-in to take care of his mother so we could have a couple weeks off. Then we were to return after the new year.
This wasn't true. The two week break was to give the "temporary" respite live-in a chance and to make sure she worked out. So, he didn't fire us outright and tell us we were being replaced. He kept us thinking we were returning after the new year just in case this new one he hired didn't work out.
Then after almost five years of exceptional service to his invalid mother and father, I got a text saying 'my services are no longer needed'.
Your mom ghosted because your caregiver knows how it works and was making sure she didn't lose. Personally, I would have told you I was going, must most won't.
Most employers won't tell their regulars when they're being dismissed either.
It would have been nice to have some warning, hell even just a phone call from her to say "I'm not coming anymore". SOMETHING. But what can you do? Can't control people. My aunt thinks she can sue the aide for theft, but I don't think a lawsuit will do any good and be a waste of money that we already don't have. But that's her- frivolous lawsuits. Smh.
Personally, I'm with you on this one. You know I'm thinking about it all now and wondering: my aunt said she owes her money... did she pay her properly at all? I wonder if that was the reason.
I didn't think theft right off the bat, either; especially since you haven't noticed anything of real value missing.
I hope you can find reliable help soon! Good luck.
Ensure you have terminated her contract & have everything in writing (keep all texts & emails) as future recourse just in case any future issues.
Any meds missing by chance?
I wouldn't think theft either.