My mom is almost 90 and physically pretty healthy, but she complains about everything. She said she wishes she could die. This has been going on for 3 years. I try to remain positive because that is who I am. She hates everything but me (I think). I am an only child and visit her every other day. Old age is not kind to her body that bruises so easily, her teeth, which she has take care of, are now breaking off or falling out. She is lonely and outlived her friends that she use to talk to. Her friends now are two people that are in their 50s that are so kind to talk with her everyday. She has improved some; two years ago, she just stayed in the bed. Now she gets up and walks the floor all day and looks out the window seeing everyone else enjoying their lives. She won't take medication and her doctor really doesn't want her to because of elderly are prone to fall. She has no hobbies, nothing to occupy her mind except things she doesn't like. She hates the vacant lot that has a lot of trees on it that sheds into her yard. Stuff like that. Is there anybody out there in Aging Care land going through this as well?
thx
I am trying breathing exercises now to see if I can manage my reaction to her better.
So, the thing to do is try to make the most of the time we do have left. Have you thought of trying to get her to write down or record memories of her life? There are lots of sources from prompts to start discussions, like "who was your favorite teacher" which leads to discussions about school days, or "what kind of house did you live in" which starts discussions of home.
It's a great way to both fill up the lonely hours but also a way to connect, to educate the next generation, and to perhaps bring back memories of happier times when everything worked better and cares were fewer.
My mom also has no hobbies and barely does anything that doesn't include me or my sister.
If she complains about the same things, maybe plan ahead with a vague answer and a planned topic to change the conversation to?