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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Firstly, can I change *how* to convince to *try* to convince.
To try, I would use simple language. Try Facts or Feelings, depending on her personality & past way of decisions. Eg Talk about the practical Fact of a smaller space being easy to clean. Or the Feeling of doing the right thing for your time in life, to 'not being a burden'. Pictures may help. That's our new home!
If is certainly nicer to have your spouse on board with big changes, but unfortunately not always possible if there is a dx of dementia/cognitive decline/lack of reasoning.
If so, it becomes more about your own adjustment to being the solo decision maker. Giving yourself permission to take over. I imagine this can be very hard if you have had a marriage of shared decision making.
Your wife has dementia. She can no longer be responsible for making major decisions. Is downsizing for you to more safely care for her? If so that should be how you make a decision. If there is the possibility that you will have to place her in Memory Care in the foreseeable future, the downsize is more for you to live safely as well. And again this is how you view your decision. Sure she will not be happy with moving. She may decline a bit. But she will adapt. A suggestion for you though. If you do tours with her pay attention to how easy it will be to care for her. Go for single level living. Preferably handicap access to the house and to bathrooms and an accessible shower. When you have made your choice place her in Respite for a week so you can pack and move and set up your new house. Then bring her home. If you do this also pick the respite place with the thought that this maybe where she is placed for Memory Care when the time comes.
As said, you can't. It will all be up to you. Start by going thru closets and getting rid of clothes and stuff that you and her no longer wear. Throw them in a trash bag. Then u can tell her that ur taking the trash out. Get rid of anything you don't think you will use. U can ask that a For Sale sign not be put in front of the house. If you have children, ask them to help.
Please don’t try to convince a wife with dementia about this or any other big decisions. She’s not capable of reasoning out decisions. Make the move soon. I wish you both peace
In your profile you say that your wife has Alzheimer's/dementia, so I hate to tell you there will be no convincing, as someone with any kind of mental decline no longer has the ability to rationalize or be logical. So this decision will all be on you. If you feel that it's in the best interest of you and your wife, then by all means go ahead and start the process to downsize. And just keep in mind that folks with any of the dementias, don't take to change very well, so I would say if this is something you really want to do, I would do it sooner than later, so your wife can adjust better before her dementia gets worse. I wish you the very best.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
To try, I would use simple language. Try Facts or Feelings, depending on her personality & past way of decisions. Eg Talk about the practical Fact of a smaller space being easy to clean. Or the Feeling of doing the right thing for your time in life, to 'not being a burden'. Pictures may help. That's our new home!
If is certainly nicer to have your spouse on board with big changes, but unfortunately not always possible if there is a dx of dementia/cognitive decline/lack of reasoning.
If so, it becomes more about your own adjustment to being the solo decision maker. Giving yourself permission to take over. I imagine this can be very hard if you have had a marriage of shared decision making.
Start with your stuff.
Is downsizing for you to more safely care for her? If so that should be how you make a decision.
If there is the possibility that you will have to place her in Memory Care in the foreseeable future, the downsize is more for you to live safely as well. And again this is how you view your decision.
Sure she will not be happy with moving. She may decline a bit. But she will adapt.
A suggestion for you though. If you do tours with her pay attention to how easy it will be to care for her. Go for single level living. Preferably handicap access to the house and to bathrooms and an accessible shower.
When you have made your choice place her in Respite for a week so you can pack and move and set up your new house. Then bring her home.
If you do this also pick the respite place with the thought that this maybe where she is placed for Memory Care when the time comes.
So this decision will all be on you. If you feel that it's in the best interest of you and your wife, then by all means go ahead and start the process to downsize. And just keep in mind that folks with any of the dementias, don't take to change very well, so I would say if this is something you really want to do, I would do it sooner than later, so your wife can adjust better before her dementia gets worse.
I wish you the very best.