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You deserve a drama-free day to enjoy this milestone in your daughter’s life. Leave him home. Tell him you have limited tickets.
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Leave gramps at home.
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You'd be wrong TO invite your father to your daughters graduation knowing the ugly outcome beforehand! Let common sense prevail by warding off a disaster and allowing your daughter her special day. Take some videos for dad he can look at AFTERWARDS. A crowded stadium is no place to bring an angry elder w dementia under any circumstances. It gives me anxiety just thinking about such a thing, tbh. When mom was in memory care AL, we took all celebrations to HER as a way to keep control over a potentially runaway situation where her emotions and fears could and would change on a dime.

Have fun and allow yourself that opportunity.
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DoingMyBest73 Apr 2023
You hit the nail on the head with the anxiety thing. Just thinking of bringing him there has my mind racing — what if it's hot out? What are the seating arrangements? Will there be bathrooms nearby?
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Don't invite.
Have a smaller, separate celebration with your daughter & Grandpa.
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DoingMyBest73 Apr 2023
I think, since my sister will be in town, having a family dinner with her (she doesn't visit very often, like once a year) will be more enjoyable for him and allow him to participate in the celebration without coming to the actual event.
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I had a similar problem where my mother in law makes everything about her. She wanted us to drive 4 hours in the opposite direction to pick her up . Then drive back retracing our drive a total of 11 hours to go to my child's college graduation. Plus we knew if we took her with us she would have fallen trying to get to a seat in the indoor stadium or at some other point. It is a very large university, a lot of walking and she needs, but refuses to use a walker, scooter, wheelchair etc. We told her that it was a big graduation class and therefore seating was limited to parents and siblings up to 4 tickets total. So my husband and I, my son and daughter in law were able to enjoy the weekend with my daughter. And it was only a 3 hour drive to get there from our home (instead of the 11 hours it would have been). A few weeks later we drove out to my mother in law and took her out to dinner locally to celebrate again.
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There is no need for you to feel guilty about allowing your daughter (and you) to enjoy her accomplishment.

You can and should feel sad that your dad is so diminished. But you didn't cause this decline, so no guilt.

Have a special event before and/or after that will be manageable for dad. If he gets upset, say "sorry, Dad, I can't manage the logistics".

Just tune out his grumbling after that.
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