My mother in law lives with us and I’m having a hard time getting her to respect my boundaries in regards to my time, in the past I’d respond quickly to her every request but now I realize she’s manufacturing issues in order to get interaction/attention. I am busy and have a life and cannot entertain her all day, and no longer want to enable this dependency. For example, she will interrupt me working to ask where a pan is, or where something in the fridge is , without even looking. I will tell her, I’m busy now maybe look again? Etc but it seems she’s pushing back. Another example, she will ask if she can help with something and then ask the most ridiculous questions every step of the way, like is this how you want it? Is this enough? Etc. It is like she is forcing me to stay with her, when the whole point is to take a chore off my hands. or she will drag on basic conversations. For example, does the food need salt? I reply no it’s good. She will literally keep asking, so it’s good? Doesn’t need salt? Etc etc
how can I gracefully curb this attention seeking behavior? I also have young children who she will literally talk over with her unnecessary questions. I've tried being direct and isn’t working
I should add I’m also an introvert who needs my quiet time, and rarely has any. So I find this behavior extra difficult because I feel my needs are not being considered, only hers.
Then, there are those seniors who do not have dementia, who are very bossy, nosy and chatty. They ask a million questions about stuff that doesn't matter. I think it's boredom, loneliness, and a desire to be important in their senior years. So, I try to tolerate it. I couldn't do that long term though. It's too hard on my mental health. lol Could your MIL go to a senior day program, get involved with a hobby, do extra work, like laundry, organizing, etc. I don't know the answer. It's a tough one. Maybe, set up an oasis in your bedroom with a sign that says, Do Not Disturb. lol I have found that some people just love to talk A LOT. It really annoys me. I don't get it. For me, it takes a lot of energy to talk that much. ON and ON, hour after hour. Asking detailed questions over stuff that no one cares about. So frustrating......I have noticed it a lot in seniors and not just my parents. Does anyone know why they do this? And what about nosy behavior that's off the charts.....omg. Who really cares what the neighbor 2 doors down is wearing or what time they came home for lunch? lol
i want to be empathetic but I feel like every time I give her an inch she takes a mile. I want her to stop seeing me as her entertainment, she’s still fairly young and is choosing to be like this
also giving her something to do usually backfires because she wants an audience and company, so I think that while she does need a purpose what she seems to be needing more is socialization ( but won’t go make friends of her own).