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My mom is in a nursing home and was sent there from a hospital after having pneumonia and a urinary tract infection that turned septic after her refusal to give a urine sample at home. She also had an assessment before going to said hospital by the local Area Agency on Aging that deemed her to need nursing home care. The state has deemed her unable to care for herself and a danger to herself and the community based on that evaluation. So how can the nursing home let her sign herself out because she passed some dumb test that they gave her that only asks her a few questions to determine her competence that anyone of us could answer? She has also shown them that she has short term memory loss by telling this social worker nobody has been out to see her and the nurses had to tell her I'm out there 3 to 4 days a week, told me they said she had a mini stroke when in fact she heard them talking in the hall about another patient, told me she's not getting all her meds when in fact she is, and the list goes on. Can't I override this with my DPOA or her Living Declaration (Medical POA)? I have called in APS and the Area Agency on Aging again. She also told the local housing authority just recently (6/13) where she used to live that I obtained my DPOA illegally (which she herself told them they were to honor for me to take care of her business with them) and that she got a new attorney to rescind it and when asked who her new attorney was she gave them the name of the attorney who drew up the DPOA and signed it. She was told that he has since retired, and she said no sir I have an appointment in his office tomorrow. So again, I ask how can this test be accurate and with the state deeming her a danger to herself and the community and incapable of caring for herself for safety reasons, how can they let her make this decision and put not only herself but others in danger? How can I stop this from happening all because a social worker thought it was a good idea to tell her that she could sign herself out even though the home and the state agree she can't live alone, and the home won't willing discharge her? Can I override her with my DPOA or her Living Declaration (medical POA) given she's not making sound decisions about her safety?

You say they won't release her because she doesn't have a home to go to.
I don't understand what the problem is.
You don't want her to leave, and they can't let her leave.

If you are being pressured to take her home with you, you need to adamantly refuse. And Yes, as her medical representative, you have the say in what treatment she receives. Give them a copy of it, and meet with a director to discuss what you want her care to be.
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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As with most questions, no answer here, no response to tell us what has or has not happened. This is disappointing. I go on vacation in a week, and never do Social Media that month. I am looking forward to the break. It is frustrating to try to give answers, get answers to what SEEMS peoples' absolutely desperation and despair, and then to be met with CRICKETS big time.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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ElizabethAR37 Jun 22, 2024
Agreed. Can't believe I've been on this Forum for over a year now. How do I know? It's your second summer break! Enjoy your time in WA State (displaced Bay Area Californian residing in exurb of Seattle since 1969).
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Dmh0802: Speak with the nursing home and not your mother. She cannot "go home" as it doesn't exist.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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I honestly think, from your responses to us (and thanks for them) that you are worrying this to death when there's no reason to do so.
The nursing home's Social Worker sounds like one of those young-and-dumbs I ran into when my friend was on hospice. I wouldn't even talk to her, but would just tell her "see y'all in court when you file" and send a copy for you form:
You told us this...........
"Also her competency isn't the only issue the other issue is the fact that she was deemed a danger to herself and the community and is no longer able to live alone by the State of Pennsylvania."
That says it all.
Carry on with your POA duties.
Know that she will be, as Beatty says, in this state of "I want to go home" forever. And it means nothing. Home doesn't exist. There's no where to discharge her to even if they wanted to.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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To simply, is this a case of "I want to go home"?
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Everyone is assumed competent unless proved otherwise.

Being deemed incompent can be situatuonal - permanent or temporarity based on the situation.

Pneumonia and urinary tract infection (while serious) are temporary infections.

So once those infections are cleared, it would be reasonable to assume the person is back to (or close to) their base-line: Which may be 'assumed competent'.

Is that what has happened?

Exactly how does the Doctor or State letter regarding capacity read?

If *temporary* based merely on infections that have cleared up... there may be need for review. For indepth neuro-psych eval before morally & legally declaring a permanent lack of capacity for decision making. Then legal guardianship application as mentioned.

So that's that stuff..

What's the REAL deal?

If Mom has NO HOME to go back to.. then?? The NH has a Duty of Care to KEEP her living there until a new home is found.

Mom can't arrange a new place of living - therefore she stays put. Done.

What am I missing?
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Reply to Beatty
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Another good way around all of this, Dm, is to stop talking to your completely inappropriate mother.
Communicate with the nursing home only.
Let them know that your mother has been deemed incompetent and if they do not have the paper work you are glad to send it.
Tell them you are her legal POA.
Tell them that if they discharge this woman (who HAS no home) HOME, they are going to be sued so they won't have a lucky penny if they find it in the street.

I think you are simply being harassed.
Tell them that and then let them do what they wish to do.
Same goes for mama. Talk to her when she's something pleasant to say.

At some point....................................you know?
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Is your POA immediate or do you need a doctor saying Mom is incompetent for it to be in effect? If immediate, you are now in charge. If you have paperwork where it was found Mom is incompetent and needs 24/7 care take that info to the SW. Tell them that to release Mom would be unsafe. There is no one to care for her in her home. Then, if she can afford it you place her in Memory care. If no money then Longterm care with Medicaid pending. I would report this SW to her boss for giving an incompetent person this info.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Well, this is THOROUGH and complete, what you wrote us.

Sadly, you now must use your POA to go for guardianship, because everything here looks to be falling through the cracks. You have too many people making assessments. Too many people making decisions. No one in charge.

Just your story about her changing the POA is telling. She could not remember the name of the new attorney who did it and thought the original one did? WOW! That is slipping through on gaping hole, not just a crack.

Yet, you cannot override, with your POA, someone who was tested with medical team, judged competent, and released.
You say you have again called in APS. Which is a good thing, but apparently your mom is borderline. Who knows where this will go.

Your POA pays for expert help. You are going to need guardianship and this is going to require a competency hearing. She will be provided her own attorney and can fight this. This is going likely to run close to 10,000.00. Be certain you WANT the guardianship. Because it is an onerous job and we have had people here trying to resign theirs, who cannot do so, and who are having to go to the court over and over about ever little thing.

This is very sad. But if your Mom is able still to pass tests then she may be out there on her own making decisions that are very bad for her. She may die of those decisions. But it is a fact that if she is passing tests she will be released. She may even win in court, in which case YOU would be paying the bills for going there.

I am so sorry. This is an awful mess. I was POA/Trustee for my bro. He was wonderful. But having done that tough job I know I would NEVER attempt it for someone who wasn't cooperative. NEVER. I would resign my POA, and call APS and say "It's up to you; I can't do anything for her and she is UNSAFE. Good luck."
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Dmh0802 Jun 15, 2024
To clarify ... the attorney that she said was new that she had an appointment with was in fact the same attorney that did the POA in the first place (he has since retired) and she in fact did not have any appointments with another attorney. She was lying to try to discredit me even though they record all incoming calls and had her telling them I was her POA and was to take care of all her paperwork and business with the housing authority. The nursing home she's in confirmed that she had no appointment with an attorney and told me a family member would have to take her to that kind of appointment and I'm the only family member that can take her.
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How would she get home? If she is able to do this all on her own maybe she is competent. If she requires assistance to make this happen then she is not.
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Dmh0802 Jun 15, 2024
She has no home to go to. I vacated her lease to her apartment when she told the hospital and the Dr caring for her in the hospital that she wanted to go directly to a nursing home bcz she didn't feel safe going home bcz she lived alone and was falling all the time. That is why she hasn't gone home yet. They can't release her until she has a home to go to. Even her insurance company UPMC for Life sent the home all the records from the ambulance company showing her constant calls for lift assists, the records from Life Alert showing she was using it like a call bell in a hospital for every little issue such as a cold, children playing on her handicap ramp, etc., all the times she ended up in the hospital bcz she doctored herself to the point she not only got pneumonia twice in 6 months but also refused a urine test from her dr but then ended up with a uti that went septic along with her last bought of pneumonia where she told the Dr she didn't want to go home. So we have plenty of documentation showing she's a danger to herself along with all the documentation of her inability to pay her bills being she was behind in her rent and owes the electric company $819 before they will even give her electric service. I have every last print out to prove her inability to care for herself.
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