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Bizarrely, in the state my mother lived in when she was 95, as long as her eye doctor said she could see they gave her a license renewal! I couldn’t believe it! I’ve been behind her while she was driving when she was in her 80s, and she almost ran someone off the road. Fortunately or unfortunately depending on your point of view, she now has macular degeneration, so she absolutely can’t drive. Frankly, I am relieved in a dark way.
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@mj1929

I'm afraid I love that! They may have saved lives, who knows.
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i’m only 65 now, but I’ll tell you, I’m going to move to someplace that has great bus service. I don’t even want the bother of cars much longer!
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anonymous1732518 Sep 2023
Fortunately, many places are taking public transit seriously and trying to improve service
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It's best to have an alternative to driving
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When my husband got to the stage I thought he should quit driving, I feared his forgetting to stop at a stop sign, and the fact he took the right of way when his light was red. I took his keys, and any extras I had in a drawer, and my own set of car keys, and hid them in our small safe, of which he didn't remember the code , and got them out only when I intended to use the car. I was afraid of my own safety. It wasn't long after that that I 1) found a facility I could take him to, 2) slowly talk with him about his driving, and 3) locked the keys in the safe (mine as well as his) and only took them out (mine only) when I intended to drive. Nor long after that, I had to place him in a facility for both our safety. I found him putting the house key in the car door lock (didn't fit); could have broken a key in the lock and then how would I get it out if it got stuck; and what would I do if he took the keys in the middle of the night if I didn't hide them. He also was trying to put the house key in the ignition!!! I actually feared for my safety if he got the keys, and his, too. Don't understate the abilities of a person with dementia. They are strong, strong minded, and sure of themselves, but NOT. I tried parking the car down the street instead of in our carport, but that was quite inconvenient, not to mention I was afraid of someone forcing the lock and driving my car away, you know what I mean!!! The caregiver's safety is at risk if a demented loved one is allowed to drive. Then what will happen to the patient? So, fight like hell to keep keys away from the patient, all at the same time be loving, attentive, changing the subject, like peeling an orange and apple, and sitting down for a snack, to get the mind off "going for a drive.
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JosAgingCare Oct 2023
I'm back after 3 years or so. I myself have now torn up my driver's license and donated my car. It's hell not being able to get into the car and run to the store. But, I am always a person who thinks "what if". I miss my car most days, but feel the other drivers are safer without me behind a wheel and all of a sudden, losing that little bit of memory that told me I had to stop at the stop sign coming up, and not stopping; or stopping at a red light until I had a green light. It hurt like h--- to give up that little key, and more to see my car towed away, but it had to be done in case I "forgot" and took the right of way and killed someone. I just wish more people thought like I did, because I have heard of many scares involving people who shouldn't have been behind the wheel. I don't think of myself as a martyr, but of a person who has faced reality that it was time....
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my mom had mild dementia, got lost coming to my house! Then an accident fortunately nobody was hurt. Her PCP prepared me a letter I sent it to the DMV. The DMV required she report for evaluation or have her drivers licenses revoked.

She was not aware that I sent the note to the DMV.

She hid the note thinking it would go away! I followed up with her Auto Insurance and they cancelled her policy once her DL was suspended.

It was the safest thing to do! She never realized I was behind it all. She eventually let me sell her car, she knew no insurance no need to have a car payment. It meant more work on me taking her to doctors, beauty appts, groceries!

I just could not imagine her lost and us not finding her in the cold of Winter.

Sometimes the grown children have to do what's safest! Does not make it easy! Tough Love.
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This post is from August 2023.
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