I am saddened that my 93 year old mother insists I continue taking care of her because of all the years she sacrificed for me. I didn't ask to be born and that should have no bearing on me taking care of her now and doing so for the last 10 years. She inflicts guilt on me with these insensitive comments. At times, I don't want even want to do anything for her. I will never ask my son to care for me now that I see firsthand what a guilt trip parents can lay on their children. Everyone should be entitled to live their own lives and not feel guilty for the decisions they felt were right for themselves. My mother has Dementia but she's been saying this to me for years before Dementia set in. My only source of freedom is having caregivers for 4 hours 2 days a week. One of these caregivers is very good but she tells my mother I should be doing more for her like taking her out 2 or 3 times a week. This puts extra stress on me because I have a back injury due to a fall. When I do go out, I dread having to return home to more complaints. Any advice? Thank you for letting me vent.
Do you remember Jesus' parable of the good Samaritan who passed a man on the road from Jerusalem to Jericho who'd been beaten and robbed? Previous travelers had done nothing to help the victim.....
Luke 10:33-37 But a Samaritan while traveling came near him; and when he saw him, he was moved with pity. 34 He went to him and bandaged his wounds, having poured oil and wine on them. Then he put him on his own animal, brought him to an inn, and took care of him. 35 The next day he took out two denarii, gave them to the innkeeper, and said, ‘Take care of him; and when I come back, I will repay you whatever more you spend.’ 36 Which of these three, do you think, was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of the robbers?” 37 He said, “The one who showed him mercy.” Jesus said to him, “Go and do likewise.”
The Samaritan bound up the beaten man's wounds and paid an innkeeper to provide further care. The Samaritan was deemed "good and merciful" whether he administered all the care himself or saw to it that someone else did.
By the way, Assisted Living is not covered by Medicare, and possibly not Medicaid.
By the way, if you get to that point at which your mother goes into a nursing home there will most likely be a feeling of euphoria. Don't feel to bad about this. It is natural. It does not make you a bad person. The euphoria will pass and you can begin to pick up the pieces.
Good luck.