My father and I had always been really close. My family and I would come visit him often (he lives alone) and then he started pushing us away due to (we found out after his stroke) he was hoarding so he was embarrassed about us coming over but wouldn't tell us. He would come to family events at our house all the time. He had fallen back in 2016 and messed up his sciatic nerve which he couldn’t walk well without a cane or walker. Since he’s backed out of a lot of family events due to pain and embarrassment of having to use walker.
Now he is 69 and had a mild stroke Feb 17, 2020. He was in hospital for 6 days and released to rehab facility for about a week. He was then released to return home but due to the home being messy we had to place him into a board and care.
We cleaned the home and we’re able to bring him home 6/2/2020 it has been just about 2 months. He is able to walk around slowly with a walker and use the restroom alone. But I help him with meals, medications, laundry, and anything else he needs. He has yet to take a shower or sponge bath no matter how we try to offer help. His mood changes often and he’s constantly complaining about people being loud whether it’s us or the neighbors. Even when no one is making noise.
Bringing me to today 7/31/2020. Tuesday night my husband and I were watching a movie (not that loud) when he starts pounding on the wall then comes out and starts yelling at us to turn it down. We apologize and said we turned it down. He continues to yell saying we don’t respect him and we don’t need to be here because we don’t do anything to help him. He wanted us to leave but we live with him. Now it’s going on day 3 he will not come out to eat, drink or take his medications. He’s still coming out to use the restroom once in a while but he won’t talk to me or respond to me when I try to talk to him. He locks himself in his room.
I have completely broke down and I don’t know what else to do... he’s yelled before and refused meals but only like one or 2 meals not 3 days. Everyone else I’ve talked to or googled answers says to just let him be because we can’t force him to do anything. It’s his choice, maybe it’s his way of saying he’s ready to die....I don't know but I do not want to lose my father this way....please help!
Yes, seek medical attention! If he refuses to go, you may have to have him transported by ambulance. As already stated, a UTI can cause mental issues and can cause sepsis that can be life threatening.
If that's not the case, you need to speak with his primary care physician.
Hopefully you are his Power of Attorney and are able to help him take care of his personal business.
Please let us know how he's doing!
God bless!!
Have you called his doctor?
If you 'let him be' and he dies, God forbid, you'll beat yourself up saying you should've and could've done more to save him. This way, you'll be able to say you've done all you could to save your dad.........if he's given up and wants to die, at least you've tried, right?
Wishing you all the best of luck with such a difficult situation.