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I moved my mom into AL almost two years ago .. I live in another state. It was hell…. My mom wanted to take everything from a 2 bath , 3 bedroom mobile home , and the AL was a studio…
now I am moving my mom from the southwest to Midwest. She does not have enough money to have a mover.much more reasonable to buy what she needs.


my mom is so argumentative, demanding , will not listen to options etc…I even had move two rocks that were in her front yard that came from a past camping trip. They are still sitting under the in table as there was no place for them.. my mom is already starting to argue. I try redirecting… my mom doesn’t want to come to terms that she has limited funds… I need her funds to make 1 year on self pay , so she will not have to share a room on Medicaid…


I am anxious already to make this move , and I know my mom will want to take everything down to the makeup mirror she has not used in 2 years etc….

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I assume you are moving her to be closer to you so you can help her? Other than that, I would consider leaving her where she is.

She can be argumentative and not like what's going on. If she is not competent, then it's ok that you are making decisions in her best interest. Don't engage in the arguing. Are you going there to pick her up and drive her from old place to new place? That is going to be a tough ride so be ready to change the subject a lot. Turn the radio up and sing some fun songs! Take lots of deep breaths. I don't enjoy half hour car rides with my mom so I imagine this ride as being difficult. Maybe it's just me!

If she's anything like my mom, making decisions is next to impossible. Maybe she just can't figure out what to take and therefore demands on taking everything? Maybe tell her you'll help her figure it out?

Good luck!
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Your mother's possessions are important to her, as you already knew to your cost (my sympathies - my mother's removal van was a tonne *overweight* at the public weighbridge, resulting in a £100 fine for the removal company, though I did pay them back). You want her to jettison them because she can't afford a mover and it would be cheaper to buy her new stuff when she arrives.

You can insist on it, and I can't argue with the economics (I haven't a clue). What isn't reasonable is expecting her to be happy about it.

What will you put the things that she can bring with her in?
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Since you've not listed that mom has any mental decline, you're just going to have to be the parent in this situation, and tell her in no uncertain terms that she cannot afford a mover, and that she will not be able to take anything other than her clothes/shoes with her, and that whatever she may need when she gets settled, you will buy for her with her money.
If she wants to argue, let her, but tell her that it will change nothing. You're just going to have to stand your ground. Unless of course she wants to stay where she's at, and be on her own with no more help from you. Perhaps you may have to present that option as well.(and mean it)
Trying to help mom should not be this stressful. I wish you the best.
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