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He’s a big guy. Can’t get in and out of bed or chairs without my lift. I threw my back out a week ago and now I’m using a walker and in pain. We are waiting Medicaid approval. He fell last week and it took 4 of us to get him up. My neighbors helped me . We’ve been married 52 years, high school sweethearts and I adore him. I know he’ll forget in 5 minutes but I don’t want him to feel abandoned. I’ve lost 30 pounds over the summer and I’m not feeling well. What do I say to him?

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We told Mom she was going to a new apartment and would make new people. We didn't do that until the day we were going. If he is really "out of it", you may not need to say anything. Just do what Grandma says. Take him situated, give him a kiss and say will be back later. The staff should be there to help. You may want to stay away a day or two. When u do visit, it does not have to be an all day thing. I stayed the longest a half hour.
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You can tell him what you think he wants to hear but he will forget.
You can tell him that he has to be closer to his doctors and nurses.
You can tell him that you love him and because of that you want to keep him safe, and keep you safe.

When you bring him and get him settled give him a kiss and tell him you will be back later.
Then LEAVE. You can cry in the car. But you don't want to upset him or make him worry when you leave. So keep it simple and quick.

Just an FYI...
NEVER try to help someone up when they have fallen. NEVER try to stop a fall, you can guide the fall but don't try to stop it.
THEN you call 911 and tell them that you need a "LIFT ASSIST" They will send paramedics and they have been trained to help people up from the floor.
They will ask if you want the person transferred to the hospital. If there is no ride to the hospital 99.9% of the time there is no charge. They will do a quick assessment to determine if there has been an injury. Then they will leave. I had 9 Lift Assist calls when my Husband was on Hospice and was never billed. And the paramedics were always very kind and considerate.
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I'm so sorry for what you're both going through. If your husband's ALZ is advanced, is he able to really understand even if you explain it to him? It's hard to know what to suggest without knowing what he's able to absorb, if anything. There are many others on this forum who have walked in your shoes and will share their wisdom with you. Wishing you both peace in your hearts and healing for your back and general health.
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