Our Mother lives in an AL place and she's a night owl. She's very social and wants to keep going until at least 9:00pm. No one else at her place (or any of these places) seem to want to stay up and socialize after 6:00pm. I've thought about getting her a cat or dog, but it wouldn't be fair to the animal. I call her every night and stay on the phone with her for almost an hour to give her that "social" fix that she needs. It's really a problem because she cries practically every night. Any suggestions?
We have decided to move her from the facility she's in, as they are not offering anything that she needs anymore. We found a more active facility that's nearby and we're optimistic to see where things will go at this new place. The old one isn't delivering anymore and has become a detriment to her mental well-being. Thank you for your response!
me to stay and tuck her in at night. (Wow, how our roles have reversed!)
Maybe we can brainstorm? I’ve recently started looking into how I can help her.
I like that you call here at night. It’s a lot on your plate, but, it’s what we do, right? Hang in there and just love her!
Cindy W
Maybe your mother would benefit if a 'Sleep Duty' aide was hired for her. Their job is pretty much what their title is. They stay the overnight in a client's home. They get up and check on them once or twice and maybe toilet them or change a diaper if needed.
A 'Sleep Duty' aide costs a lot less than paying for an hourly caregiver.
I did this job myself for a couple clients and knew women who did it for years. Most of the time the reason why they're hired is because an old person who's still independent just doesn't want to be alone in the house at night.
Sadly, it does seem that after dinner they are 'done' for the night and in PJs too early.
if she is scared , it’s different. then she needs way to feel secure . We put a plug in system that rings a chime if anyone opens the door at my mom . It makes her feel like she is more aware if someone where entering her home . You could go as far as a camera security system that she feels someone else is watching over her . A lifeline device she can wear at night in case she has an emergency to ring . . It just depends on her concern .
good luck I know it’s not easy
Yes, usually after dinner the aides start taking the residents back to their rooms to get ready for the night. The put them in their PJs and robes and then they watch TV for the evening. I do that myself. We eat dinner in or out. Its 7pm by the time we get done dinner and clean up. Or get back from eating out. I get my PJs on and the rest of the night is watching TV.
But being afraid is part of dementia, as I'm sure you know. One thing that helped my aunt was a very plush stuffed animal (it was a dog). She held that thing and stroked him, and it did a lot to soothe her. She was pretty far gone at that point, and she might have thought it was an actual puppy, but it worked.
Have you considered hiring a "sitter"(with your mothers money of course)to come in for a few hours nightly that can sit and keep her company? That would get you off the hook from having to call her every night and having to listen to her cry. And it would give your mother the social interaction that she craves.
I've had your same idea to hire someone to go and hang out with her for a few hours at night. We're moving her to a different facility next month, so I'll be looking into it. I do have everyone call her at night to keep her company and it has worked thus far. I call her and she stays on the phone with me for almost an hour repeating her stories, but I just go with it. Thanks for your input.
Therefore, your Mom needs to find something of interest to watch on TV and curl up under the covers to watch. It will take time for her inner clock to adjust. My Dad lived in senior facilities and he referred to it as his college dorm, and he never felt alone as there were so many people living around him just a door away.