Well... I was considering having children until I started caring for my father because I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. I was a "late baby" (my brother who committed suicide was even younger... 10 years), so my father was 47 when I was born. I'm absolutely TERRIFIED to reproduce at the age of 38 now for the fear that I will get sick and have kids that resent caring for me.
Then I think I wouldn't be a good mother because I get so frustrated with my father when he doesn't sleep (babies keep you up at night as well), or I snap at him for ...whatever.
Finally, I think about putting a contingency plan together for aging. The short time I had Dad at the Independent Living (IL) facility, I would listen to the elderly parents that put THEMSELVES in the facility so their children could enjoy their freedom--so they wouldn't be a burden to their children. I admit I was a bit jealous. Why can't my Dad do that?
Then I have "angry compassion_ so to speak. Isn't it interesting that if an animal gets to the point where they can't function, they're put down, yet humans can literally suffer for YEARS (patient and caregiver) existing as a fraction of the person they once were.
I get it... it must be horrible to exist without being unable to hear well, see well, move around, remember anything, and be in pain most of the time, but should the caregivers suffer?
NOTE: I'm not advocating euthanizing humans... just making an observation.
...and to top it off, I want to SCREAM the truth at by standers that "commend" me for taking care of Dad. There's nothing commendable about it. I detest it most of the time and feel guilty for feeling that way every day.
....random venting I guess
Good one, sendme. :)
My use of the term 'young whippersnappers' is not original to me, but maybe grandparents used that term.
When my grand-daughter was growing up, she asked me what "Behave" meant.
Regarding granite counter tops, one can't sell a house today without them in the kitchen and all the bathrooms. When I remodel my kitchen, I will replace my old butcher block with new butcher block... one can make just a good a sandwich on butcher block as with granite, the money saved can buy a lot of bread and cold cuts :)
Your comment on vehicles reminded me of the inclusion now of so many gadgets and features that aren't necessarily related to safety or better driving.
I used to think that video cameras were a waste of money, but eventually I realized that they can help older people who have become stiff and can't turn their necks easily to back up.
It's interesting how the term has changed throughout history, especially that the Roman Empire could be considered a golden age.
I can't even begin to imagine the burden these people are going to place on the security net systems when they get to be our age. They'll probably expect nursing homes to have WiFi and free Internet accounts, IKEA furniture, and Wall Street speakers that address their portfolio management rather than musicians who provide entertainment. Maybe they'll even want branch banking in the facility as well.
Apparently from what I read in other research the term Golden Years is in part from the term Golden Age, which goes back to the Romans and Caesar... don't think Bowie is THAT old :P
My sig other daughter [40] and her husband it's another story.... they are always keeping up with the Jones's, apparently no one told them the Jones's are in major debt..... good grief, when their first child was born they had to get the same highchair that singer Brittany Spears had gotten for her child.... plus new cars every two years.... and heaven forbid the daughter can't leave the house without wearing $200 jeans. And they are looking for a McMansion to buy because their house is "too small". They have almost zero in savings.
Manufacturers, distributors and retailers are making a killing off people who think they need all this stuff.
But Lordy! So many people blow it all on dumba** stuff, living large and, OOPS! We're old! Holy S...T! We have no where to go....You've gotta take your poor old Dad/Mom in........
Then the really sad situations are where the kids are a chip of the old block and they have no resources to help unless they sell the boat, jet skis, the Harley's, motor home, time share codo, gun collection, take out a third mortgage on the vacation cottage. Oh....I forgot the $600 per month cable, DSL, cell phone, Netflix, bills.
We all know folks like this. I have friends of my generation who I know damn good and well will end up in a Wallmart parking lot living in what's left of their 150K RV. And they still will owe 10 years payments.
There are certainly people who have simply been crushed by our economy through no fault of their own nd the safety net has gotten thinner, but it's hard to have sympathy for the campaign and diamonds crowd.
It's also scary because I see how thin the line is, with the medical community, about whether an elderly person is capable of making decisions. Doctor saw my dad when he was 'out of it 'due to extreme pain, and decided that he was 'senile' since he could not answers all ten questions. Another doctor saw him later and said that - based upon the first doctor's notes - he did not expect him to be so engaged and alert for his age. If you had no one to be there for you to advocate, you could end up in a bad place. This is very scary and I hope that I don't live long enough to have to worry about it.
We often don't have any choices when it comes to how or when we die, but we need to make our end-of-life wishes known to that if there is a turning point, our lives go in the direction that we would have wished.
Take care, my friends,
You are an amazing group of people.
Carol
A wish is not a plan, it turns out. Unless people take some serious action and make some plans and get some ideas straight in their mind as to how they'll avoid burdening their kids, that's how it turns out. People don't think about assisted living or home help, so they don't know what it costs, and they don't feel any need to save, or postpone retirement until they can really afford it all.
When the walker hits the wheelchair, the kids are called in, and all of society seems to endorse this. Everyone says "Your kids should be helping you. You shouldn't have to live on your own. Move in with one of your kids' families ." And you look like carp if you raise any objections to a life of soul-sucking sacrifice and unending labor. I think society has to change before elderly will change. I think it has to become as shameful to live irresponsibly and then put a burden on your kids as it is now to refuse to help your elderly parents.
I see generations of people who live so much in the moment and spend money and don't save anything so that once they are elderly can't afford to live somewhere that is safe and that can take care of their needs. I guess no one thinks they will get old. But we all know living a long life is often commonplace. We've become so health conscious that we live as my dad says, "too long".
I do not have children and I have a long term care policy. Hopefully it will still be valid if I ever need it. If not, I have planned so I have enough money to take care of my needs.
I am very thankful my dad who only had a high school education and a blue collar job, saved like crazy and can afford to live in IL. I don't know what we'd do if he couldn't.
I also think people should be allowed to end their lives if they choose. Of course you can in, I believe, Oregon.