72 year old here with a 95 year old father who has been in assisted living for last 7 years. Was sent to hospital with complaint of lower back pain which turned out to be a compression fracture. He is now to the point that he can't feed himself or go to the bathroom. He has a device for urine and they bring a potty chair to his bedside for bowel movements, then someone has to clean him up. He is completely helpless, yet he still has his mind. They are sending him to rehab today. It's so hard to see him in this condition. I've been with him daily for over two weeks, trying to keep him as comfortable as possible but I am completely exhausted and haven't had any real sleep in days. Nursing home is next and he will hate it. I'm already feeling the stress of knowing his disapproval is coming but I don't have what is needed to bring him home with me.
Of course he will hate it. He cannot expect you to be his free caregiver. It's not your fault he got old and sick. Of course it's heartbreaking to watch, especially if you care.
When he transitions into the NH you can mitigate his "disapproval" by telling him a therapeutic fib: it is temporary until his doctor approves him to return when he can demonstrate some of his ADLs.
You are too old to be worried about your parent's unreasonable disapproval. You do what is best for the both of you. Caregiving happens on the caregiver's terms.
And you need to go home and get some sleep, as you're not doing yourself or your father any good by running on empty, as you're no spring chicken here either. And I know that your father wouldn't want you killing yourself because of him.
He's in good hands now, and he's either going to make it through this ordeal or he's not, but please don't allow yourself to go down with him, as you matter too in this equation.