My state (NC) started allowing limited outdoor visitation on September 5. Mom's LTC didn't schedule any visits until September 17. I was given a slot on Sept. 18, which they canceled due to bad weather, and was rescheduled for Sept. 24. Just prior to the 24th, they reported a positive test result from an asymptomatic staff member, so I was re-rescheduled for Oct. 8. Then I got a call saying that they had miscalculated the waiting period, so the visit was moved to the 10th.
A few days later, they reported another positive case (again, a staff member and again asymptomatic) so my visit was re-re-rescheduled to Oct. 17. And yesterday, I got notification of yet another asymptomatic positive test from a staff member who was never in contact with the residents. I'm now waiting for the re-re-re-rescheduling call on that one.
Is anyone else out there experiencing a similar problem? I'm starting to lose hope. It seems awfully strange that the facility went without a single positive test until the visitation restrictions were lifted. And while it's good to know that none of the residents have tested positive, it's also strange that all of the staff cases have been asymptomatic. Intellectually, I realize that this can be a series of remarkable coincidences, but on the other hand, I'm emotionally fragile enough now to begin to wonder if they're getting false positives, or are just plain giving us the runaround.
But I appreciate that many people really miss seeing their relative and those who don't have family to take them out must be suffering horribly - almost as much, though in a different way, as if they caught the virus, maybe...?
I've gone back to window visits, because I can talk to her on the phone and don't have to wear a mask. It frustrates me to no end, though, as a caregiver is in there with her leaning close to tell her something so she can hear, patting her on the arm, and doing everything I should be able to do for her. They aren't living in bubble where they can't catch Covid anymore than I am, and the caregivers brought Covid in there in the first place. They had an outbreak, but it was over in six weeks.
That was in June and July, so why are they still locked down like Fort Knox? I should be able to see my mother!
Based on this view (which i would've seen if I visited in person) I asked for a visit from the facility podiatrist & let them know about the dirty clothes. Technology has definitely helped improve our visits; a blessing really.
After she was moved from rehabilitation to nursing care it became much more difficult and we couldn’t use a phone and could barely hear through the window but they were battling an outbreak and being very careful. I kept checking on her so the staff knew we were keeping a eye on her.
At her new home they have been very strict because Memory Care residents have not been isolated or required to wear masks. We have been able, in Ohio, to do outside visits with her inside at a screen door and us outside on the porch. Each resident gets one 30 minute visit a week, 2 people only. We are allowed to window visit but I hate to pester the staff to arrange it.
Next week we start inside visits but everyone has to wear a mask, sit 6’ apart, etc. The only good thing is Mom has such a bad memory that she doesn’t really know it’s been a week since she last saw us.
So stick with it, the rules seem to change day to day and the staff is doing the best they can with all the added restrictions and procedures.
My mother's ALF has been allowing window visits for months now; we go over every Sunday at 1 pm; she sits in the conference room at the window, the care giver calls ME on my cell phone, and we talk to her via the phone. She's literally 2 feet away from us, but the window separates us. They say they are going to start allowing indoor visits 'hopefully soon', but guess what? 2 more employees tested positive but are asymptomatic! More stalls, more delays, more nonsense. But I'm ok with it b/c we do get to do the window visits which in a way are better b/c my mother is mostly deaf. So sitting 6 feet away from her with both of us wearing masks is likely to produce a scream fest with lots of frustration to deal with, and her understanding NONE of the conversation. Sigh.
I vote for false positives, too much testing, and the runaround, all combined with the CYA principle for facilities. While I DO understand their predicament, these elders NEED HUMAN TOUCH from their loved ones again. Period.
I'm with you on the futility of window visits. With a mostly blind and deaf mother myself, it's hard to communicate over the phone. Worse still, the facility's windows are old and the seals have deteriorated, which has led to them being permanently foggy between the glass, making it more difficult for me to see Mom while rendering my shadow or outline barely discernible to her. And the windows haven't been cleaned on the outside in who knows when, so I have to bring a rag to clean off accumulated soil to see the little bit that I can. I also have to bring a camp chair and balance it on the river rocks that they have arranged along the foundation of the building, which can get pretty dicey when the rocks decide to shift under my chair.
And what's going to happen when winter arrives?
Your last paragraph sums things up pretty well. Thanks for responding.
I sure hope the weather is good for your visit and that all goes well for you!
My LO RECOVERED from 3 weeks of Covid, and was shedding the virus for three months after becoming symptom free. The care she received in her MC was as nearly heroic as anything could have been. Her care staff had very little by way of supplies, and no testing in house, at the beginning of the pandemic.
If you hear otherwise, you’re either not in a hot spot OR someone is embroidering the truth.
When I read through your post, I was starting to wonder too if you were getting the runaround. But, maybe with the fall and flu season upon us the staff members are just now starting to get sick especially if your state's school season is back in session and they have children.
We live in the desert Southwest and my mom's new facility had been very fortunate not to get their first case until mid-summer with both a memory care resident (where my mom resides) as well as a staff member. Unfortunately, the resident did pass away and they have had about three more staff members test positive since then. My first outdoor visit was September 7th and I had another one the following Saturday.
I know how frustrated this must be for you and that it's wreaking havoc on your emotions being as fragile as they are. Prior to our facility allowing the outdoor visits, each time a staff member tested positive the residents themselves were being confined to their apartments therefore not allowing dining and activities amongst the residents. I just received an update letter from the Director that they are continuing outdoor visits and have given us the procedure that would need to be followed to do an indoor visit which they hope to be implementing soon. I'm still not allowed into my mom's apartment. In our case, the facility Director has been very forthcoming about all that is taking place and the communication by emails has been great.
As I'm sure the other people have commented, things will vary so much from state-to-state and facility-to-facility. If you do not feel comfortable with what the facility is telling you, maybe you should talk with your city's Ombudsman and ask for either their direction or intervention on your behalf. I know I did that with issues at my mom's previous ALF when they were negligent in allowing my mom to be near death and not telling me until it was almost too late and when I wasn't allowed to get movers in there to get all her things.
It's very hard to keep getting your hopes up only to be let down time and time again. I sure hope you can get some more concrete answers, that you will be able to visit your loved one soon and you can move forward in a more peaceful manner.
The virus doesn’t care how frustrated and frantic and lonely and overwhelmed we may be, if someone with risk factors is exposed, the odds are that they WILL get sick.
I have NO IDEA how my fragile, hypertensive, 91 year old LO survived. By all indicators, she SHOULDN’T HAVE. But she IS STILL HERE, when others in her facility didn’t get through it as well as she did.
Her caregivers knew what needed to be done, but because of prevailing conditions in our area, an asymptomatic carrier, who was not tested, brought the virus in. I think this is why the rules are what they are.
I pray EVERY DAY for ALL of our victims. But I also see bare faces and huddles of people all the time, EVEN ON THE RESIDENCE PATIO WHERE OUR OUTDOOR VISITS ARE HELD.
In our situation, mixed messaging is DEADLY. I’ve come to the point at which I want her PROTECTED, and if I can see her safely, I’m all for it. But re-exposure to the virus? Hasn’t she suffered enough already?
Darn straight I’m emotional about this. Can’t help it. She and I NEED each other, but why did it all have to happen in the first place?
I did note that this is a voluntary program for MN facilities... and even if the NC General Assembly proposes such legislation, they face an uphill battle because the governor is of the opposing political party and will most likely veto it, as his plan for reopening (currently in Phase 3) still imposes significant restrictions on visitation. The LTC has advised me that they follow both CMS guidance and the state mandates, adhering to that which is most restrictive.
It's frustrating, to say the least. But I'll give it a shot.