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@seewell and DigitalBanker - idk about others on this site, but we try and BE HELPFUL and ENCOURAGING...IMHO, if you can't say something nice, DON'T SAY IT AT ALL! She has PLENTY to deal with without you downing her decisions and telling her she's doing something wrong! As do we all!! PLEASE, I'm not in her shoes, mine are completely different, but I know what she's going through, and for her to come on here and to vent, and ask for help, that takes a lot...and for someone to get on here and say things like SHES ALL ABOUT HERSELF, or she just needs to put her very active mother in a memory care facility, NOT GOOD. You might SUGGEST that, but NO ONE should MAKE ABSOLUTES on here because NO ONE IS IN ANY ONE ELSE'S SHOES.

I'm sorry, I just had to get that off my chest. It was pi$$ing me off that someone would take the time to shame her rather than be constructive. If it was meant in any other way, I apologize!
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get a second opinion by a geriatric specialist and preferably, a female.
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ARWEN 31, I can feel from Your writings that You Love Your Mom very much, and since You are an only Child Your Mom is Your every thing, and You will miss Her dreadfully when She is gone. Remember 90 years is a great age and not many Elders make it this far. I would accept Your Mom's decline in memory and arrange for Carers to come to Your Mom in rotation. Friends are wonderful to have I know, but most of Your Mothers Friends are dead. I have been on this same Journey with my own Mother, RIP Who had been diagnosed with alzheimer's. I was so Blessed to be able to Care for my Mom at Home in Her own Home where Mother was happiest but make no mistake it is a very tough and gruelling Journey and You will be faced with many decisions, but sadly it will End all too soon. Good Luck Arwen and keep coming back to AgingCare.com because this is where You will find Your true Friends, Carers Who are on similar Journeys, and Who feel for You and Your beautiful Mom, yes Carers Who really do Care.
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I have one word for you: lotsahelpinghands.com ... this works great getting your community to respond to needs you put on their calendar.
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Arwen; given the time of year, maybe a friendly "Christmas letter" to mom's friends, outlining her current issues and asking for them to reach out to her might be in order.
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Arwen: You're very welcome.
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One thought from your mention of testing is that my aunt passed the alzheimers test brilliantly, but definitely had dementia. There are many kinds.
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