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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
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It's a rare elder who will voluntarily agree to stop driving. If they are a danger to themselves or others, they need to be informed - not convinced - that they will no longer be driving - their consent is not necessary.
There must be a reason(s) for your mentioning this. For example, I first noticed my mother's peripheral vision was gone when she would walk behind a car backing out of a supermarket parking lot. I couldn't understand this since Mom had cataract surgery and $5,000 hearing aids.
This was the onslaught of what was to come--Lewy Body Dementia. Looking back I didn't realize it at the time but I now have more information and a diagnosis.
For example, right now if my mother were to take her walker on a sidewalk she probably would gage the curb distance wrong and go right off the sidewalk and literally into the gutter.
Half of the senior citizen population is on a blood thinner. We have the responsibility to keep our loved ones safe and the public. My mother was driving down the street reading the console (mileage) gas gauge, etc. while she was driving at the same time, not keeping her eyes on the road and could not judge the distance of the car in front of her. I was in the passenger's side, I immediately said, "pull the car over and give me the keys". Mother never drove again from that point on.
Please Note: This is important. When I say mother never drove again, mother also has transportation to and from any and all appointments--doctors, dentist, hair dresser, etc. Their needs have to be met. They (the seniors) don't want to think they have no freedom and will be stuck home.
In other words, you have to let them know that grocery shopping, Church, family birthday parties--they will have someone bring them.
You can't let hurting someone else's feelings take precedent over other's (and yourself) safety.
You can, however, get your mother a Real ID. It is a government sponsored ID program that in time all of us will be required to get through your DMV.
If you think your mother driving is an accident waiting to happen--as was the case with my own mother, then you need to make arrangements for food delivery, Senior Citizens groups, library classes, etc.
They don't want to lose their freedom. They want to go to the supermarket and meet people. Do you blame them. We have the responsibility to keep them safe but involved in their Community.
" When I say mother never drove again, mother also has transportation to and from any and all appointments--doctors, dentist, hair dresser, etc. Their needs have to be met. They (the seniors) don't want to think they have no freedom and will be stuck home.
In other words, you have to let them know that grocery shopping, Church, family birthday parties--they will have someone bring them."
And procuring transportation for an elder might not be as easy as you think. My mother refused to use Handi-Ride (probably couldn't have managed the arrangement for it, anyway). She wouldn't have been able to manage Uber or Lyft. I became her chauffeur. She didn't like the limits I placed on that. And if you are the one to become the transport, it can take up hours.
When my mother became dependent on me for transportation was when things became very difficult for me.
And somehow I knew that would happen. She'd told me she wanted to quit driving when she turned 90. That time came and went. I wasn't going to push it. While I'm sure my 3 out of town sibs would have loved it if my mother stopped driving, they weren't going to participate in her transportation. One of the 3 watched my mother drive, and said she was okay. As did I. My mother drove very few places and never at night, never on the highway, never in bad weather.
A doctor can be helpful here. In our case it was actually my father's eye doctor, who said to him "I won't sign off on your vision in two years, so you need to figure out a plan." He trusted that doctor and told me about the exam, and having someone else talk about the issues, whatever they may be, can be helpful. For my dad, who is in denial about his cognitive decline, being able to say that he no longer drives because of his vision (he has had a few eye issues in the past that have grown worse, not just regular vision problems) has been a bit of a nice cover for him. So don't just assume that a neurologist is the only way to go here!
Check out the video on the Alzheimer’s web site. I watched it once by myself, then asked my husband to watch it. He had backed into a car, nearly sideswiped one (the other guy’s fault…he shouldn’t have been there), and ran a stop sign because he was watching something else. All this in about 2 weeks. He asked if he was really that bad, to which I said YES.The video is really good. Made everything much easier. Also got his doctor to write a letter to him saying he shouldn’t be driving.
Check with your state's Dept. of Motor Vehicles website (or call). They may have a medical review process, where you (or a doctor or police officer) can request that the DMV evaluate whether or not someone should be driving. The Doctor examines them, more than once if needed, and makes that decision. I'm not sure if they use their doctor or if they rely on the patient's doctor for this review. The outcome of it is that they can pull the patient's license if that's needed. Don't expect a miracle though, I know from experience that they are RELUCTANT to do this, at least in my state. I suspect that in an instance where it's not cut and dried they err on the side of doing nothing.
I also had my PCP tell my husband he can not drive. Then we went to MVD to “renew” his license where they told him his MD says he was unable to drive. Never blamed me.
Quitting driving is a big ordeal for anyone. I had been planting seeds with my mother to stop driving for two years before she finally decided give it up at age 92. She could barely see over the steering wheel of her cherry 1995 Acura Legend. She said that she started to get nervous thinking about driving. So she decided to give it up herself.
If they hurt themselves, it affects you, and other loved ones. If they hurt another person, that affects many more people. Quitting driving isn't the end of the world, she will be safer. Keep talking with her about it and come up with other transportation options. One of her transportation options is probably going to be you and soon after, you will end up being her only transportation option. :) To this day, I regret selling her car...
Has your mother been evaluated by her doctors for her safe driving ability? You just don't remove her independence without considering alternate transportation choices, such as public transportation or rideshare, first. Do be aware of driver safety and decide when it must stop. Look up, "We Need to Talk", on the Internet for assistance.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Blessings.
There must be a reason(s) for your mentioning this. For example, I first noticed my mother's peripheral vision was gone when she would walk behind a car backing out of a supermarket parking lot. I couldn't understand this since Mom had cataract surgery and $5,000 hearing aids.
This was the onslaught of what was to come--Lewy Body Dementia. Looking back I didn't realize it at the time but I now have more information and a diagnosis.
For example, right now if my mother were to take her walker on a sidewalk she probably would gage the curb distance wrong and go right off the sidewalk and literally into the gutter.
Half of the senior citizen population is on a blood thinner. We have the responsibility to keep our loved ones safe and the public. My mother was driving down the street reading the console (mileage) gas gauge, etc. while she was driving at the same time, not keeping her eyes on the road and could not judge the distance of the car in front of her. I was in the passenger's side, I immediately said, "pull the car over and give me the keys". Mother never drove again from that point on.
Please Note: This is important. When I say mother never drove again, mother also has transportation to and from any and all appointments--doctors, dentist, hair dresser, etc. Their needs have to be met. They (the seniors) don't want to think they have no freedom and will be stuck home.
In other words, you have to let them know that grocery shopping, Church, family birthday parties--they will have someone bring them.
You can't let hurting someone else's feelings take precedent over other's (and yourself) safety.
You can, however, get your mother a Real ID. It is a government sponsored ID program that in time all of us will be required to get through your DMV.
If you think your mother driving is an accident waiting to happen--as was the case with my own mother, then you need to make arrangements for food delivery, Senior Citizens groups, library classes, etc.
They don't want to lose their freedom. They want to go to the supermarket and meet people. Do you blame them. We have the responsibility to keep them safe but involved in their Community.
Enough said...
In other words, you have to let them know that grocery shopping, Church, family birthday parties--they will have someone bring them."
And procuring transportation for an elder might not be as easy as you think. My mother refused to use Handi-Ride (probably couldn't have managed the arrangement for it, anyway). She wouldn't have been able to manage Uber or Lyft. I became her chauffeur. She didn't like the limits I placed on that. And if you are the one to become the transport, it can take up hours.
When my mother became dependent on me for transportation was when things became very difficult for me.
And somehow I knew that would happen. She'd told me she wanted to quit driving when she turned 90. That time came and went. I wasn't going to push it. While I'm sure my 3 out of town sibs would have loved it if my mother stopped driving, they weren't going to participate in her transportation. One of the 3 watched my mother drive, and said she was okay. As did I. My mother drove very few places and never at night, never on the highway, never in bad weather.
Don't expect a miracle though, I know from experience that they are RELUCTANT to do this, at least in my state. I suspect that in an instance where it's not cut and dried they err on the side of doing nothing.
She said that she started to get nervous thinking about driving. So she decided to give it up herself.
If they hurt themselves, it affects you, and other loved ones. If they hurt another person, that affects many more people. Quitting driving isn't the end of the world, she will be safer.
Keep talking with her about it and come up with other transportation options. One of her transportation options is probably going to be you and soon after, you will end up being her only transportation option. :)
To this day, I regret selling her car...
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