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We recently received a visit from APS. He went thru 11 pages of accusations all made up stories full of blatant lies. She lives thousands miles away and has not visited us more than 11 years. The agent went thru all the 11 pages of the report she wrote and found no evidence. He told us the case will be closed after he speak to the family members and care takers. My other step daughter and my sister in law both told me they got a call from the agent and told him the truth and also reported the same behavior done to other member of the family due to her personality disorder. Agent also told them the case will be closed. But my husband received notice for a hearing on Incompetence and order appointing guardian ad litem petitioned by her accusing me of severe neglect. My husband was very upset over this. He called her to stop these several times. I am his POA, and I was hurt emotionally and can not continue. I pretty much give up for one year of my life and totally devoted to provide him care 24x7 with help of several care takers. He made a remarkable recovery. The 11 pages of accusations are outrageous. Agent even said he had never see a report like that. Not sure if there is any law to protect me from being accused and harm while I have to take every minute of my life to care for my husband who is a lot older.

So you are the second wife, and this is the daughter of your husband, for whom you are POA?

I am quite concerned here.
You haven't made this clear enough: you tell us that you have received a court hearing notice for appointment of a guardian; I am assuming that his daughter is fighting for guardianship of her father.
It is crucial now that you and your husband seek out a lawyer at once. SOMEONE here is trying to get guardianship of your husband.
That may actually happen if you and your husband do not fight this in court.
You were already visited by APS. But what proof do you have of what they told you (that there is no case and no reason for a case).

I am a bit concerned for you.
What steps have you taken regarding this notice to appear in court for guardianship hearing?
When is this hearing?

Hoping to hear from you as regards all this. You could be in grave danger. Do know that, while you are well aware of the mental illness of this individual, the COURTS DO NOT. And she may have applied for guardianship at this time.
I would
A) Call APS today to tell them of this application for guardianship
B) Ask APS for any copies of their final report on her accusations and the outcome of examination of the case
C) Ask for their recommendations of an attorney, or what to do about this court case.
Ask if there is any way they can assist you now in getting an emergency temporary guardianship.
D) Consider getting an Elder Law Attorney. TODAY.
I hope you will update us. I am quite worried for you.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Once the case is closed and you get a copy of the paper work. You will need to document your dealings from now on. Meet with a lawyer and bring them up to speed on exactly what happened. The lawyer can assist you with anything like a cease and desist order/protective order/restraining order. But cut all ties with this person asap. Don't speak to them and don't engage. If you have to speak to them, keep it brief neutral and cold. They are looking to provoke an emotional response so they can literally feed off your emotions.

Your most effective weapon against anyone with that type of vendetta, other than legal options, is stone cold icy silence.
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Reply to Jhalldenton
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"But my husband received notice for a hearing on Incompetence and order appointing guardian ad litem petitioned by her accusing me of severe neglect."

It is not over. Husband now has to go to court to show he is competent and to say he is being taken care of or the State will assign him a guardian. Then wife will have no say how things go. Now they need a lawyer who will show evidence of APS findings and that doctors say DH is being taken care of properly. This is now going to cost them money. If DH wins the case, he should sue his daughter.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Scampie1 Nov 13, 2024
JoAnn, why would he need a guardian if he is mentally competent and APS closed the case?
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You need to tell her to go pound sand. Block all communication from her. If your husband wants to talk to her, he can.

Save any correspondence and paperwork from APS and the court clearing you because she may try again.
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Reply to BurntCaregiver
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It’s over. Shake it off and move on.

You know she is crazy and the last thing you want to do with a litigious mentally ill person is engage with them. I have a sister like this. I know.

You do need an attorney for the hearing.
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Reply to anonymous144448
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Block her. Have no more contact with her. Encourage other family members to stop telling her any information about you and your husband. Other than suing her for liable/defamation/slander and getting a no-contact restraining order not sure what you think can be done through the law. You two have the control to create a boundary and you should do it. She is mentally ill. Unless she gets professional help, you and family talking to her will continue to feed into her delusions and sickness.

I wish you wisdom as you create boundaries and peace in your hearts as you recover from this painful incident.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Anyone can make any accusation. She can continue to do so, but it’s already documented to have found no validity. Rest in that. You and husband both need to never contact her again as she cannot be reasoned with due to mental illness. I’m sorry for the stress this has brought you
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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My heart goes out to you. I've been in your shoes before due to a vindictive sister who kept making false reports to Adult Protective Services. I was responsible for my younger sister since I was living at home at the time my mother passed away. I worked on placement for her while I kept an eye out for a cheap apartment to move.

APS kept showing up at my door for all types of silly complaints. Finally, after she was placed, I was able to move on. You would think these people would be satisfied that I was no longer at home, and continued with the their guilt tripping behavior until I finally put phone blocks on their phone numbers so they would leave me alone. I didn't speak to them for seven years. Dad was angry because I wouldn't sign for a thirty thousand dollar equity loan that I would have been responsible for paying back. Lol. So that meant I would have been responsible for house taxes, loan, food, utility bills and other expenses while they lived in luxury and I would have been still living at home struggling with caretaking with my sister and working a low paying job..

Narcissistic people don't believe in taking responsibility or accountability for their actions.

If APS closed this chapter, why haven't APS gone after this sister for making false reports. Plus she lives in another state a thousand miles away and hasn't visited in eleven years.

If I knew then what I know now, I would have sent a cease and desist letter along with a restraining order to stop these interactions. When APS showed up, I would have shown them the docs and been done with it.

I shared this before on AC about my vindictive older sister. One time I was in the bathtub and got another one of these silly calls from APS saying she was my sister, and was locked in a room starving to death. I fell out laughing. My younger sister couldn't talk. I told the worker that my younger sister was downstairs with the aide having her breakfast! The aide spoke to the APS lady and gave her the agency number to call to verify she was from an agency and assigned to this case. It sounds like someone had been looking at too much tv. Why does that movie "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane," comes to mind.
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Reply to Scampie1
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