How to get dad to drink water?

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How to get dad to drink water?

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I take care of my dad who has dementia that causes anger. He has stage 3 kidney disease and should be drinking at least 6 glasses of water per day. He refuses water, and basically any fluids. This is a constant battle. I have had to call the paramedics out at least 3 times this month because he gets dehydrated. Flavored water does not help. He will not drink tea or soda. Please help.

Anger Diet & Nutrition Hydration

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Have you been given a list of fruits and vegetables that contain lots of water? You may get a lot more water into him by serving it as foods, if he has some appetite.

Watermelon, Jello with seedless berries, fruit ices and sherbets, vegetable soups made without added salt and Mrs. Dash as a seasoning, mango, cucumbers, stewed zucchini, fruit flavored teas. There are some new non-alcoholic beers that might work.

There are a lot more of these.

If he’s the slightest bit cantankerous he may be refusing just to annoy you. Don’t get mad, - GET SNEAKY.

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Thanks for your helpful ideas. We used watermelon tonight and I will make soup for lunch. I am buying Popsicles too. Lots of great ideas were offered.

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Dear "lauramay,'

Since he isn't drinking water or fluids for that matter - has he been checked for a UTI. That could play a role in his behavior. People can react differently when they have one. My father-in-law had hallucinations and my mother gets very confused more so than normally with having Alzheimer's.

For some reason, elderly people seem to struggle with keeping hydrated.

Is it possible your dad can't take in fluids and does he need to be under hospice care if that's the case?

Don't know what else you can do since flavored water doesn't help (which is what I give my mom), won't drink tea or soda. I personally don't give my mom anything that is carbonated. There also comes a point where they can't get hydrated on their own and they need IV fluids at a hospital.

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Dad spent the day on an IV. Turns out the Cardiologist made a medication change that might better regulate his blood pressure. Tomorrow he starts new dosages of 2 of his meds. Tonight he drank a large glass of water and we tried the watermelon idea. He is out of the ER now, doing better. The day was a long day in ER, exhausted.

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Elders lose the drive to drink. Who told you that your father must drink 6 glasses a day? It is often impossible for those with kidney disease, and likely some heart disease as well, to be able to handle water with these weakening pumps and exchanges crucial to body function. It is time now to discuss whether you will go to dialysis. I personally would not and have refused it for myself in my advanced directives. Kidney failure, like heart and lung failure, are the end of the road unless there is heroic intervention. That would be transporting Dad to dailysis three times a week; infection control for site, severely limiting diet and intakes. Would he want this? I would not. Often doctors will tell you that kidney failure is a painful death. To the contrary. With hospice, it is not. Time to start thinking ahead. At this point I would go for comfort and for quality of life rather than forcing fights and other things that will do little good but to torment Dad at the end of his life. Speak with Palliative care experts now. Ask for Hospice or Palliative care consults. Most seniors enter hospitalization dehydrated because of their lack of a drive to take fluids.

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My dad had kidney failure as a result of heart failure but he had decided long ago dialysis was not an option. We were told it was a horrible and painful way to live. Hospice came and helped him in his journey hone as painlessly as possible .

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Hi Lauramay. I have the same issue with my Mom. I offer different liquids throughout the day. Sometimes 1/2 cup worth in plastic cup so it doesn’t seem overwhelming. Sometimes in a small water bottle with a straw. Lately hot chocolate, fruit cups, watermelon are favorites. My Mom dislikes water so not often will she drink it. I do give her medications one pill at a time tellingt her to take a sip after each pill so I do manage to get about 6 oz in that way twice a day. Cereal with milk, cream off wheat which uses water to make it counts too. Ice cream, cookie with milk. I often just pick up the cup and say ‘here Mom, have a sip’ many times throughout the day. Good luck!

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I got the little 4 oz bathroom dixie cups for my dad. Seemed easier with smaller amounts and cups easy to handle.

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Good ideas, thanks, he loves watermelon. I can be sneaky. Very helpful advice.

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If he likes salads, try lettuce & spinach with cukes, tomatoes, celery, bell peppers, & maybe fruit like strawberries. Try coconut water, cottage cheese & fruit, plain yogurt with fruit, smoothies with fruits & veggies, skim milk, cabbage or cauliflower. All of these have fluids to help with hydration other than water, coffee & tea. There're many ways to try & sneak in fluids. Watch out with the pops if he's diabetic, use sugar free ones. Good luck!

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I have a similar problem with my mom. She is on thickened liquids and pureed honey consistency foods. I get pure coconut water from Trader Joes, she likes the sweetness, I also give her lemonade with low sugar, Honest drinks, Smoothies with banana, strawberries and almond milk. She prefers these over water. I love watermelon and I get most of my fluid intake from fruits and vegetables. I drink water with lemon or lime. Vegetable bean soup is a good choice, Jello with added fruit, pudding, chicken or turkey broth low salt option are some choices.

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Dear "earlybird,"

The smoothie with almond milk sounds really good! Since I don't enjoy drinking water either and we live in a very hot climate, I love lime in my water and also, orange slices in water is really good. The first time I had that was when we went to "Outback Steakhouse" (before COVID) they had kept a water cooler of it in the waiting area.

Another drink I give my mom is V8's Energy+ Drink which has one serving of fruits and vegetables in it. They have a lot of different flavors she and I both like the Peach/Mango the best, then Orange/Pineapple, Honeycrisp Apple and a few others. The only drawback is it does have some caffeine in it. I actually add cold water to mine at home to take some of the sweetness out and make it more refreshing.

Like you and several others have said watermelon is a great source of water.

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Thanks NobodyGetsIt, I never thought about V8 energy drink, I am going to get it for my mom. The flavors sound so good. Thanks again.

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Your welcome "earlybird," - I'm impressed with how many flavors they have and I've tried almost every one of them. I sure hope your mom likes them! I originally bought it for myself because I wasn't getting enough fruits and vegetables in my diet and then I decided it might be good for her.

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Grapes and cukes have lots of liquid in them. Icee pops and fruit pops too.

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My mom is the same way; but She will eat popsicles. I have to chop them up and she eats w a spoon. At least it is a bit of liquid.

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Apple Juice

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Have you asked the doctor? You have some good info on getting fluids in by way of other foods - Popsicles, cucumbers, watermelon, cantaloupe, etc. Maybe a doctor can offer some advice on the dehydration issue.

How bad is his dementia? Meaning, does he understand about becoming dehydrated and that's why emergency responders have to come? Does he understand that he could end up in hospital or a NH where fluids would be administered? If he really doesn't understand outcome of not drinking, conversations will just wear you down. The alternatives, like watery foods, may be the only thing you could do.

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As people age they lose the thirst drive. This is pretty common. My dad didn’t like to drink water either. What he would drink was Ensure and Cokes. So try other options but just know that fighting a battle to get him to drink water is a losing battle.

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As a retired nutrition clinical staff member...when working a few years ago I encountered many elderly who did not want fluids..I would offer ice cream, jello, wet fruits like watermelon and grapes in addition to fluids ..Most foods are about 80% free fluids.. Try juices watered down..Grape juice was well accepted...all fluids count..Make milkshakes..home made ones work so much better than Ensure...float ice cream in root beer...hope this helps...

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Is he having problems with liquids?
Sometimes with dementia thinner liquids are a problem and Aspiration is a real possibility. Maybe he choked once or twice and is now fearful.
Try thickening the liquids.
Be careful with slippery things like peaches, nectarines, grapes, plums, Jello.
Popsicle's are also "liquid" so they can cause choking as well.
Soup is a good way to get liquids into someone as are things like Oatmeal, grits, cream of wheat.

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Lauramay, you have a tough one there. Homemade shakes are the way to go. Stick w what Dad can have. Kidney disease...normally, no tomatoes, broccoli, oatmeal, red meat, whole grains, watermelon. Strawberries, grapes, mangoes, apples(very good), cucumbers, celery, squash, beans, cherries, onions, garlic, lemons, pineapples are good. Gelatin, not so good. Ck out my profile. Get a really good blender. Find out what flavors he likes, coffee, mint, lemon, etc. Also, make a huge pot of white, not brown, rice and when cool, put in ziploc bags in freezer to pull for convenient breakfast, dinner, etc. Add broth, butter, onions, etc.

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Dear "dads1caregiver,"

You brought up a very good point about someone who has kidney disease shouldn't have certain foods like the ones you mentioned. Since I don't know much about kidney disease, I myself wouldn't have thought of that but, now I remember when my mom was hospitalized in April for severe dehydration and COVID, when they ran bloodwork they said her kidney function was at a stage 3. Thanks for the reminder and more ideas!

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A lot of things count as fluids such as smoothies, sherbet, jello, pudding, applesauce and soups. Certainly this will be very hard getting enough volume in him. Give him a beer? Anything will help at this point. My dad was on a fluid restricted diet and all these items had to be counted. Does he like being in the hospital? Good ideas in responses below.

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Dear "InFamilyService,"

Ahhh, sherbert/sherbet - what a great idea. I normally, buy my mom ice cream but, the flavors she used to eat a long time ago have nuts in them and I've tried not to give her nuts for dental reasons. I can't wait to go get that for her instead of just vanilla ice cream.

This thread reminds me that "pooling" everyone's thoughts and ideas is what is the most helpful to those who are on the forum seeking help/advice!

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Loss of renal function is painful and scary for both of you.

i understand the doctors are recommending his kidneys stay flushed, but because your Dad’s kidneys are not processing properly, he is instinctively rejecting the water and can’t help that it repulses him. If he seems difficult, remember that he feels absolutely terrible.

When I was in your situation, I felt very impatient, frustrated and hopeless.

Praise your dad every time he takes small sips. He may respond best to this positive interaction. Be very patient and calm.

Thr kidney problems (along with the dehydration, electrolytes, etc.) are compounding his confusion.

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Dear "ACaringDaughter,"

Great comment and you certainly are living up to your "screenname"!

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Feeding tube. It was the only thing left when my mom did not drink enough. They require a considerable amount of care. However, it kept my mom's needs met and she did not have to die of dehydration which can take weeks. Mom never attempted to pull it and I bought a women's wear tube top (on Amazon) instead of an abdominal binder, which was comfortable for mum.

Revoke hospice, back on regular Medicaid. Get it done (only takes 10 minutes or less) in hospital, then back home and good to go! On discharge, get her back on hospice. Watch for complications..but with GOOD CARE of the tube those are very rare.

Mom did great with it. She did not die of Alzheimer's. Other natural causes. Because of the feeding tube she made it to 90. and she was well cared for.

I checked daily residuals and when she started retaining I knew she was dying as she was no longer digesting as her body was shutting down. Only then I stopped the tube feedings and water flushes. She died a few days later. That was a big change since normally she would digest everything.

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Hi! I had this issue with both parents. Dad wouldn't drink until I purchased a cool new Yeti. Then it became a game - like a challenge to see if he could top the number of times he emptied it on a daily basis. Suddenly wasn't an issue but more of a routine. When he became to weak to hold the Yeti, we replaced it with a child' sippy cup that he could not spill or ding. Mom was a different story. She had dementia and not being her favorite, no matter what I did she would not drink. It wasn't that she resisted drinking - it was that she resisted me. So I fixed it. I bought a "special" water" bottle and told her it was a gift from her favorite son Teddy. Then I told him what I did. So when he called (because that's pretty much ALL the effort he made towards her care) he would ask her if she was using his gift. To please him, she would drain that thing 6 to 8 times a day. LOL. Watch out though. Teddy got credit for everything and I had him "fix" all of her problems. Now he drives a new pick up truck and has access to her bank account.

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Teddy should know better but you'll get the pretty wings in Heaven. I hope he at least thanks you. If that worked that is best for her that's what is most important.

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My 96 yr old Dad has the same problem of not wanting to drink water but he also does not want to go to the Hospital so, I keep a water bottle beside him and every 30 min tell him Dr says to take a drink of water si he doesn't hVe to go to the Hospital.

Then, what ever fluids he does like give to him.. my Dad likes Milk so offer him a breakfast bar, ect with a little glass of milk every couple hours.

Also, serve more food with liquid like Soup.

Give him a liquid breakfast shake everyday.

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Dear "bevthegreat,"

I would use the same tactic with my mom telling her she would end up in the hospital again if she became severely dehydrated. For her she would forget but now that she's at a new facility in their memory care unit, they always have fluids next to her. Prior to COVID when she lived in an ALF, I would bring drinks but, couldn't make sure she had them in front of her even if I told her over the phone - she either would forget or just wouldn't do it.

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I have been giving my 97 year old mother coconut water, pure and no additives, lemonade, fruit drinks no added sugar and a protein shake. She likes the sweet tastes of these drinks, and is now drinking more fluids. She is up to almost 40oz per day, which is great for her. Depending on the recommendation from his doctor these might be good alternatives to water.

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Dear "earlybird,"

Aside from the V8 Energy + drinks I told you about earlier, another good one I've recently tried is the Nestle brand "Splash" - a natural flavored water beverage, with 0 sugars and 5 calories. I've been buying them for my mom and I drink them too. They come in Lemon, Acai Grape, Mandarin Orange and Wild Berry. Sometimes I mix them with half regular water to lighten it up a bit. I've tried two of the flavors so far - I like the Wild Berry the best and then the Mandarin Orange. At 97 your mom is doing great drinking 40 oz everyday with the items you've been giving her! My mom will be 96 on Valentine's Day.

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Have you tried just leaving some fluid on a table near him? I worried about my mom not eating and my neighbor who had taken care of her elderly mother suggested that I just put her food on her tray that she used and she would eat when she was ready. I did and mom ate when she was ready. I think it's that we think we are asking and being sweet and they probably think we're Always be sure to hug and kiss him tell him you love him.

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you might try liquid stevia - it comes in so many flavors, and my mom likes the sweet taste. She's actually pretty good at drinking her water - 96, dementia, but drinks about 40 oz per day which is often more than I get down myself. We learned the hard way, dehydrated and a week in the hospital and 3 wks in rehab, to figure out a way to get it down.

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Dear "sbwcare,"

I'd say your mom is doing very good to drink nearly 40 oz per day at 96 with dementia. I too have a hard time meeting the daily requirements for water intake so I'm reading the suggestions not just for her but, for me as well! Also my mom, who is almost 96 with Alzheimer's, was in the hospital in April from severe dehydration (and nearly died) along with COVID. She was in rehab for three weeks too but, has never been the same since and is now under hospice care at a new facility in their memory care wing.

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Jello, popsicles, thicken fruit juice, lots of soups, decaf coffee and smoothies. Anything that has liquids in it can up his fluid intake. If it is a "thickness" issue, try thickeners that are used to help stroke patients. The consistency can be from honey to thickness of pudding.

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Use bendy straws in glasses with lids. My dad liked liquids with colors. Hot cocoa with whipped cream was a reward after bathing. Fruit...

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Hello NobodyGetsIt,
Thanks for the recommendation about the Splash drink. I am going to get that as well. It will be nice for my mom to try different beverages. I appreciate the help and I will certainly keep you updated. Your mother will be 96 on Valentine's day, how nice. Hope she is doing well.

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"earlybird,"

I'm glad you liked the "Splash" recommendation and yes, please let me know what you both think about them. I too, like to give my mom variety! :)

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I hate to say this but I have to because it is the honest truth. Everyone knows the value of being hydrated and drinking fluids but some people, no matter what the reasons, are simply NOT going to cooperate and even with the tried and true methods. Then I have to say this - You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink. Look at the situation the same way. There is really nothing you can do so they make their bed and now you have to let them lie in it and let the chips fall where they will.

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Imho, H2O is best when cold. That said, bottled water or water with ice cubes is certainly more appealing than tap water. Also, may I suggest the product called "Hint." It is bottled water with an ever-so-slight "hint" of flavoring, e.g. watermelon, mint, cherry and a lot more. I, myself, was not consuming much water and my DH purchased the Hint for me.

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Google videos on utube on what happens to the body and mind if you get dehydrated and see if you can get him to watch it with you. If not play it loud make sure he hears it loud and clear.😊

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