Dad has been in NH for about 6 months. He has improved greatly and mentally he is there. He’s 89. He is struggling with a loss of purpose..what to do so he feels he is useful.. or has a job as he says. He has always been busy doing things around the house or managing finances and paperwork. He does participate in the games and activities there but that isn’t satisfying a purpose. Anyone have ideas how we can help him?
My dad started writing his memoirs when he was in a club. Each week, they'd take turns telling a little bit about their background and upbringing, so he made a few notes. Eventually that expanded to 18 typed pages of stream of consciousness memories, and it was priceless. There's so much we don't know about our parents' lives, and even if they think something is boring and inconsequential, it often isn't.
One of the last things my Dad said to me was, "Did I write down that I once danced with Keely Smith?"
Yes, Dad, you sure did.
Many years ago my son's daycare had a lady come in weekly -- Gramma Pat -- and she lead story time hour by reading the little kids a book. She was very elderly but did this for many years. They loved her visits and we remember her to this day (30 years ago!)
My mom used to volunteer at our town's senior center and they had a group of ladies who would collect holiday or occasion cards, cut the fronts off and reglue them to a new blank card. They would package and resell the cards so that the proceeds went back to the senior center.
My own personal favorite is cutting old t-shirts into rags. Went through a through a ton of rags when my boys were all home and we certainly had plenty of crappy t-shirts. There are "circular" cutters that cut fabric but are easier on arthritic hands. Collect old t-shirts from neighbors and give them to your dad to cut (if he can). Then he can bundle them and you can help distribute or sell them in the community or even within the facility. Home Depot sells boxes of rags, so they're definitely needed!
If he needs NH level care due to health issues, bring this up at the next care meeting-- get the Social Worker and activities director to find a job he can do.