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My husband is a retired federal atorney, In the early stages of decline he argues with me that I am being unreasonable. I have been in therapy TWICE because initially, I was convinced that I had a problem, Our income tax had not been filed for a few years and as soon as I sent in some documents he skipped ahead and did the last year. He is refusing to show me the documents.
I am between a rock and ahrd place and it hurts.

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Has your husband been diagnosed with a dementia by a doctor? This can be a valuable step in getting you knowledge and help. When there’s dementia, there’s loss of reasoning skills and good judgment. You shouldn’t be arguing with him, it’s fruitless. He shouldn’t be making financial decisions or filing taxes, those are on you now. He should have a POA for healthcare and financial decisions. Hopefully that’s you, with someone a generation younger as a backup. Hiding things is a big dementia behavior, along with paranoia. Having hurt feelings over it is understandable but also not productive. Be proactive. Have a friend or family member take him out for a day or several hours while you search the house for documents, passwords, anything hidden, all that you need to handle finances and taxes. Do not admit to doing this, but take over all of it, or if you’re not POA, have that person do it. You’re in a new world now, learn all you can about dementia. I wish you peace
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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If your name and Social Security number (or ITIN) are on the tax return (either as the primary or secondary filer), you have the legal right to request and receive copies of your tax records from the IRS, go online.

One way a spouse can cheat is to delay the refund into the next year. Then, they
receive the refund after the separation and divorce.
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Reply to Sendhelp
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