I'll try to keep it as short as possible. My aunt has been taking care of my grandmother and grandfather for a long time. Before that my grandfather was taking care of my grandmother who has alzheimer's along with the help of my aunt. Fast forward a bit, grandmother lives in assisted care in a place called On Lok in san francisco, she's been staying there for 15+ years and has had Alzheimers disease ever since I was born. I am 27 now. 6-7 years ago grandfather had a stroke and long story short, my father did not want anything to do with him and he went into a state of depression and developed dementia. Since then he is unable to care for himself and needs 24/7 assistance. My aunt is the sole caregiver and has been for the past couple of years, she also has power of attorney. Ever since I moved in last year I have been helping out everyday and it has been very difficult. It's like I have to give my whole life dedicated to them and it's tough on me because i care about them but at the same time it is unfair. She has began to rely on me as well 24/7 while I work and have a full time job. Grandfather is ineligible for medical. But the financial burden is very steep. What kind of services can we get to help our situation. She needs a lot of help and I don't think I can keep going the way I am now without losing my temper. She also does not work and takes care of him 24/7, are there any types of services that can help financially even if it's not much. Thank you for any information that you can provide.
"Can I get back to you on that?"
Lol Llama.
People have no right to heap their Judgement on other's, until the've walked a Mile in Our Shoe's! Great idea's and Suggestions from both of you, BTW!
I'm so sorry that person wrote that to you!
They Couldn't Be More Wrong! HUGS!
"I find you selfish and uncaring!! She is your mother and you do have an obligation to help her. Maybe she would be better off without you! People like you think of themselves."
How sweet! No?
Unfortunately, I'm stuck in a situation where I'm called upon to fulfill an obligation I don't even believe in, and have been doing so for more than 5 years. So you are right that as a practical matter there is often a need for help and nobody really willing to do it, and somebody gets stuck. Much as I dislike it, that someone is me. What I resent most is somebody saying to me "Well, that's just what you do for family." I dumped my best friend for saying that exact thing to me. What I want people to say is "Gee, that really sucks. I'm sorry you're in that situation, having to put your life on hold indefinitely for the benefit of somebody you don't even like."
Apart from that I pretty much agree with you, especially with respect to the idea of sharing the burden of care so that no one person gets stuck with a disproportionate burden. I do a lot for my mother just so other people don't get stuck with it, other people I care about who would be even more inconvenienced or burdened by doing it than I am. That's the only thing that actually redeems this sacrifice in any way for me. I'm not saying nobody should help their family members. I'm saying nobody should expect it as a matter of course, and everyone should realize it is a sacrifice and does take away in a major way from a caregiver's quality of life.
(Or contribute $ to rent that could be used for the benefit of all).