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Perhaps you got bored after 51 years, but losing interest in sex at age 74 is not inevitable or normal. I can promise that, at age 79, DH 75. Not so often, but still sometimes, and lots of cuddling in the meantime. I go to bed with my DH every night, and move to another bed in the night because we are both restless sleepers. The first stage in bed together is me holding bits of him, which soothes him and me and helps to send us both off to sleep. Full catastrophe sex happens every 3 or 4 weeks. We have been married for 26 years, not 51, but we aren’t planning on stopping to look after the sensitive bits of either of our bodies.
My suggestion to you would be to work out what you can do to make him happy, without it being full catastrophe intercourse that you no longer want. Helping with sex is a very important part of marriage, so far as I am concerned.
If you’re 74, he must be same age or older? I find it hard to believe he is able to do anything!?! That would be a miracle..this site is about caregiving advice..does he think he can do something that is impossible?
This isn't really a caregiving-related issue unless your husband has a cognitive or physical impairment that is impacting your lives. Maybe consider discussing it with a couple's counselor (and maybe your husband will learn better ways to deal with disappointment overall rather than expressing it with anger, which is always unproductive).
Hopefully your husband respects the word NO and there's no physical or emotional abuse involved? If he lays a hand on you, call 911 immediately.
What health issues does your husband suffer from? If there is any dementia involved, Inappropriate Sexual Behavior is common and can often be medicated by the doctor.
If this anger is new behavior, I suggest he get a physical and cognitive work up with his PCP right away.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My suggestion to you would be to work out what you can do to make him happy, without it being full catastrophe intercourse that you no longer want. Helping with sex is a very important part of marriage, so far as I am concerned.
No woman should be intimidated or forced.
What health issues does your husband suffer from? If there is any dementia involved, Inappropriate Sexual Behavior is common and can often be medicated by the doctor.
If this anger is new behavior, I suggest he get a physical and cognitive work up with his PCP right away.
Best of luck to you.