She does wear liners in her underpants for urine, but refused pull-ups.
She is now quite inactive, refuses to drink very much in the daytime (so she won't have to get up at night to use the bathroom), and her diet is primarily bland and sweet.
Rice Krispies, cookies and candy, yogurt or 1/4 cup of fruit, and about 3/4 cup of cooked foods. No fiber.
So, significant constipation that she has no awareness of - but caregivers and family have to clean up feces on bathroom surfaces, her hands, her clothes, and try to clear the large amount of solid matter that is clogging the toilet.
I don't want to hurt her feelings (as I can't be sure of my own motives - am I paying her back for her verbal abuse?).
I dont want to blindside her by talking to MD without my mom being aware of the subject. Suggestions?
REMOVE all her underwear. Put the Pull-Up briefs where her underwear is now. Now she has no choice but to wear a pull-up.
She need supervision in the bathroom. She needs help in the bathroom. She probably should be on a bathroom schedule. About every 2 hours she should be taken to the bathroom.
this will do several things.
Gets her up and moving.
Gets her to change positions helping blood flow.
Mom is living with you. Unless she is going out and buying her own food then you need to bring home higher fiber foods and give those to her. She can have her cookies and candy but at the proper times.
If she has not been tested for dementia that should be a discussion you can have with the doctor.
She does have some behaviors consistent with vascular dementia, but I don't know if she has been diagnosed.