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When you go home the will certainly set you up with HOME HEALTH; I wouldn't worry as they will teach you and make sure you're comfortable.

You will need to be careful that the catheter doesn't become twisted and keep the catheter line patent; you will actually find it rewarding when you become comfortable.
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Try to keep an open mind. This may be a temporary, may simply be in place and have a tap, or need replacing but this is not worse than doing a personal wash and a bit of plumbing it isn't complicated so don't worry in advance.
If you find you cannot manage going forward arrange for a carer who can come in and do the necessary. I have sympathy with your position as I refused to do personal care for my elderly mother it just turned my stomach - but we found a carer who came in just for an hour for the purpose when necessary. You'll find a way to deal with it.
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I wouldn't get ahead of yourself. It's not so much nurse as plumber.

The bit you're likely to be handling (and this is assuming that your mother can't manage it herself, and most people can) is not - how can I put it - at the business end. All you'll be learning is how to turn the tap on and off. Surely to goodness you're not so squeamish you can't empty a bag of urine down the lavatory? You're allowed to wear gloves. Nothing terrible will happen. You won't even have to look "down there" (or, rather, "up there" because you'll be concentrating on the leg end of things).

But it would be sensible and useful for you to learn as well what problems to look out for and what to do if they happen - discomfort, pain, spasms (rare), blood or cloudiness in the urine, etc.

Just be glad it's not your Dad and it's not a Conveen. That's all I can say.
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Beatty Sep 2020
My Conveen tale: both quite green, the RN & I had attempted & failed so were (shyly) describing the problem to the Nurse in Charge. I said "we tried the Conveen, but it.. couldn't be seen". Not my most professional moment. She didn't blink. Said, no it doesn't work well with 'innies' you need a good handful.
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I worked with RNs, was their secretary, and we had one who refused to put in a catheter so don't let anyone into guilting you. Now I think some stay in but are removed periodically. Either way, I don't think you can be required to do anything you are not comfortable with.

My Mom broke her shoulder and we took her to the ER. When put in a cubicle the RN thru a gown at me and said "dress her". I told her I was not comfortable doing that because Mom had a broken arm and "she" was the nurse. She said "yes, I am the nurse" and did it. Another time a dr wanted urine sample from Mom but expected me to do it. I said no that I was not getting down on my knees in his tiny little bathroom to try and get my Mom to go in a little cup. I have a hard time doing it for myself. Told him to give me the stuff and my RN daughter would do it at home. He agreed and she did, grudgingly. When Mom was in the AL, if she had an accident, I called the aide. Paying big bucks to live there, they can do the dirty work.

So if this is more than emptying the bag and ur uncomfortable doing it, speak up. They can order "in home" care.
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Beatty Sep 2020
I still remember a job interview with medical... that little bottle & a tight pencil skirt did not mix well 😂.

But for relatives? I have already had to say NO to this loud & clear too. I suggested the 'witch hat' & may have considered helping with this (just pour into bottle after, no catching required) but as the patient took zero responsibility to try to suggest this/arrange this/do anything for their own problem, I declined fully. I believe a home health nurse had to attend instead.
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Thankyou Alva!
In/out catheter gets an instant NO from me too. I'd do myself, but not my relatives.
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I am one of the old retired nurses on this site. I am pretty certain they are speaking of an indwelling catheter, and I am HOPING they are simply wanting you to learn to do basic care, emptying, infection prevention (difficult in itself. They will claim often enough that it is contamination from feces; but actually in female the urethra is short, the catheter holds the urethra open a bit, the catheter moves up and down in the area a bit, and infection is common. I would use one D-Mannose capsule a day for prevention of e-coli bacteria adhering to the wall of the bladder when it gets in (works like cranberry juice but easier and not acidic and better). The capsules are large (I use source natural product on Amazon, about 32.00 for 120.00 and capsules are large, so open and sprinkle on food if Mom has trouble swallowing.
You are basically going to empty it about three times a day as needed; not hard at all.
NOW, IF they are talking in and out catheterization (some men do this themselves) I would refuse to do it. It would have to be done often, is almost impossible to tell when the bladder is distended and it is needed without having access to ultrasound machine. It makes for MUCH MORE certainty of infection. Moreover, it is, to this nurse's mind, too intimate to do to one's own Mom. (I said I was and OLD nurse, but I would not want to do this on my own.
My advice to you is to go and see what this is about and if it is too much for you to tell them NO. They will say there is no other way than for you to do this. Repeat slowly as needed "N-O". And then take it from there.
You may be seeing the day coming when Mom needs more than inhome care. Why are they placing an indwelling catheter? It is rare. They often prefer incontinence because of the risk of infection.
I hope you will update us. As I said, I am an old nurse; I would NOT have wanted to do this for my Mom. It is much much more intimate than just washing her. This is legs spread. Hard to do in a low bed, a STERILE procedure in which contamination occurs if the tip of the cath hits skin or mucous membrane. Not easy and WAY intimate. Even learning to don sterile gloves is not easy. And your hands and catheter, which is long and wiggly, must stay sterile. Urethras also vary a bit, aren't always easy to identify. You will see new nurses trying to poke catheters in any number of "wrong " places. It amazes me what medicine expects us to do at home now.
I don't want to scare you. But I want you to be prepared to say "NO, I am sorry; I will NOT be doing this. What is plan B" if you need to.
I wish you the very best of luck. Let us know how this goes for you.
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worriedinCali Sep 2020
thanks for the d-mannose info Alva, I found it personally helpful. I’ve been going back and forth on whether or not to start taking it to help with UTIs
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Emptying the catheter bag will be easy. Open tap, drain into bottle, flush. Washing around the catheter should be same as washing the area. (Maybe Mom could do this in the shower with a handheld shower head?)

Or is this an 'in/out' catheter to be inserted manually each time to drain?

Or a permanent suprapubic catheter? If so, the tube comes out of the abdomin instead. Not too icky.

Go along for training if you want. Find out what's actually required.

But remember - you can say no!

Ask, if I say no, what's the plan?
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I kind of know how you feel. I had to help my mom with the recovery after a mastectomy-tube, drainage, etc. Not like a catheter but still not something i ever planned on doing. Mom could not do this by herself-dad would not have been a good helper either. My dad had a foley catheter for a few months. Then the doctor did some testing that determined the urge and muscle function to say go pee was not going to work anymore. Then they said get the superpubic catheter-tubing goes thru the abdomen. would be less irritation etc. I would take dad to the dr. every 30 days to have the equipment changed. I never offered to do this job at home for him. I have since told my mother that i want nothing to do with the area below the belt for my dad-period. They have home care that can do the daily empty of the bag and keep him clean and dry. We have a cat who is diabetic needs a shot of insulin every day two times. I can not watch family member who does this i can not stand the sight of a needle-I will never be able to do this job for my cat. Maybe you could look into home nursing care/assistance for this job if you can't get the hang of it. empty the bag is not too bad but the rest of it-i would arrange for backup for sure keeping that area clean is a must-if it is clean and dry it won't smell as bad too.
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mally1 Sep 2020
Poor cat; it doesn't know why someone hurts him twice every day....
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We do have some nurses on this sight maybe they can give some input. I too would not want to be doing this. Why do they feel she needs a catheter? They can contribute to UTIs.
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