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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Hire some in home help on dad's dime. Place dad in Skilled Nursing care on Medicaid. Stop looking for help from a brother who's not interested in helping and explore other options. Nobody should willingly suffer abuse, neither you nor your brother.
To really give you better answers we need some info on Dad.
Are you his POA? How old is he? What are his health problems and physical limitations? Does he have Dementia? Is he in his home or your home? If his home, do you live with him?
You need to "gray rock" him. Look it up? You literally ignore him. You walk away when he starts his abuse. And if he ever hits you, call the police. If no POA, call Adult protection and tell them you can no longer care for him because of the abuse. Hopefully then the State will take over his care.
Stop taking his abuse. If you live with him, move out. You are not obligated to care for anyone who is abusive to you, even a parent.
If you don't have a job, get one. There are plenty of facilities that would be happy to hire you because of your past experience in caregiving. And the residents would NOT be allowed to abuse you. And you'd get paid, which I'm guessing you are not in your present situation.
You deserve a happy life. Mean dad can find care elsewhere.
Your brother is the smart one here. Now it's time for you to get smart and walk away and leave your fathers care to paid caregivers/aides on his dime, or in a facility. You deserve better as no one should tolerate any kind of abuse. Please know that.
If your father is abusive it is looking like brother has made the right decision. I would discuss with your father a need now for placement in facility so he can get care that he pays for, and you can get on with your life. You will not be changing your sibling's choice, and if your choose to throw your own one and only life upon the burning funeral pyre of an abusive elder that is seen by your brother as a choice you have made.
Have you looked to determine if your dad is entitled to any services through your local Senior Services Program? Or Area Agency on Aging? Is dad a Veteran? If so the VA can provide some help. It might be a little or a LOT depending on where and when dad served. If dad has some assets you can look for a facility that can care for him safely depending on the level of care that he needs. It could be Assisted Living, Memory Care of Skilled Nursing. But dad pays for the Respite Care. If dad is eligible for Hospice Medicare/Medicaid will cover some respite time as well. The last option is dad pay for caregivers that will come in and care for him while you are unable to care for him. It is actually a good idea to have caregivers come in at least 1 day a week for several hours. this way you have a back up if ever something happens to you and you are unable to care for him for a time. You do not give any indication in your post as to what care dad needs. But there are caregivers that can manage any level of care that is needed. The more help they have to provide the higher the cost. NONE of the cost of getting a caregiver or finding respite care comes out of your pocket these are expenses that dad pays.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Place dad in Skilled Nursing care on Medicaid.
Stop looking for help from a brother who's not interested in helping and explore other options. Nobody should willingly suffer abuse, neither you nor your brother.
Best of luck to you.
Are you his POA? How old is he? What are his health problems and physical limitations? Does he have Dementia? Is he in his home or your home? If his home, do you live with him?
You need to "gray rock" him. Look it up? You literally ignore him. You walk away when he starts his abuse. And if he ever hits you, call the police. If no POA, call Adult protection and tell them you can no longer care for him because of the abuse. Hopefully then the State will take over his care.
If you don't have a job, get one. There are plenty of facilities that would be happy to hire you because of your past experience in caregiving. And the residents would NOT be allowed to abuse you. And you'd get paid, which I'm guessing you are not in your present situation.
You deserve a happy life. Mean dad can find care elsewhere.
You deserve better as no one should tolerate any kind of abuse. Please know that.
Is dad a Veteran? If so the VA can provide some help. It might be a little or a LOT depending on where and when dad served.
If dad has some assets you can look for a facility that can care for him safely depending on the level of care that he needs. It could be Assisted Living, Memory Care of Skilled Nursing. But dad pays for the Respite Care.
If dad is eligible for Hospice Medicare/Medicaid will cover some respite time as well.
The last option is dad pay for caregivers that will come in and care for him while you are unable to care for him.
It is actually a good idea to have caregivers come in at least 1 day a week for several hours. this way you have a back up if ever something happens to you and you are unable to care for him for a time.
You do not give any indication in your post as to what care dad needs. But there are caregivers that can manage any level of care that is needed. The more help they have to provide the higher the cost.
NONE of the cost of getting a caregiver or finding respite care comes out of your pocket these are expenses that dad pays.