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I just joined. I’m taking care of an 84 year old guy, Charlie. He has metastatic pancreatic cancer which has moved to his liver and around his other digestive organs.
I don’t think he is prepared for death. Not that he is wanting it, but whatever he has to endure reaching that stage. We have a hospital bed, oxygen tank and equipment, wheelchair. I had a pastor come by and talk about it.
Charlie still walks with a walker, has a shower chair, toilets himself and gets dressed.
Have any of you gone through this and perhaps give me some ideas?
Thank you!

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I would talk to him about Hospice.
Hospice will help him.
Hospice will help with supplies and equipment.
If he is still seeking treatment then he would not qualify for Hospice.
The support and encouragement that he and you would get from Hospice is invaluable.
Does he have family? Does he have advanced directives? Does he have a POA for health and finances? someone will have to be able to make decisions for him when he no longer is able to. If he has not talked to an Attorney now is the time to do so.
And for you...You should have a contract in place as to what you are able to do for him. What you are required to do. What you will be paid.
do NOT rely on promises as to what you will get when he dies. If it is not in writing a promise has NO meaning.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Depending on when he was diagnosed and what stage he is in, he has less than 2 years, maybe even only a few months left if he isn't receiving any type of treatment. My FIL passed within 2 yrs from PC at age 72 after very aggressive treatment, to no avail. He's going to need palliative care along with hospice. I would have the Pastor come by on a regular basis.

If Charlie doesn't have any family, I would definitely contact social services so that he gets a legal guardian who will legally be able to make financial and medical decisions on his behalf once he is no longer able. If you are not his PoA or legal guardian, you won't be able to do this. If he's currently paying you, there may come a day when he won't be functional enough to manage his finances and this will mean a problem in getting paid. This is why he needs a legal guardian.

Charlie may be a good candidate for a good facility's LTC/hospice. He won't be alone and they are very experienced in caring for the sick and dying. My MIL has an excellent 7yrs in LTC in a faith-based facility, where she spent a week on hospice before she passed. No regrets with that choice for her.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Contact hospice.
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Reply to JustAnon
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I would suggest bringing the hospice agency of your friends choice on board now, as they will have a nurse come check on him once a week to start, aides to come help bathe him at least twice a week, and he'll have a chaplain, social worker and volunteers available if he wants.
Also all of his needed equipment, supplies and medications will be provided covered 100% under his Medicare.
They will also be a great source for you too as they will answer any questions you may have. They are available 24/7 so you can call them today to set up a time for them to come out for an assessment.
I wish you well as you try and help your friend.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Charlie needs hospice care so he can be kept comfortable during the end of life process. I doubt anyone is prepared for what comes along with stage 4 cancer and the death process that ensues, which is why we have hospice to provide us with the good drugs to keep the excruciating pain at bay. His doctor can write the order for the evaluation.

Best of luck with a difficult situation.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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