In the process of moving my 94 year old mother who has dementia and no short term memory to a semi private nursing home floor in the same building that she has lived in for many years . She threatens suicide all the time and knows I hate that, as my older brother took his own life .She's been violent towards other tenants and says she's going to make the other lady in her room move out , threatening to defacate everywhere. Poor lady just lost her husband and my mother got his bed . It's so embarrassing for me the way she speaks to everyone and I've asked her to try to be nice to people but she doesn't seem to have it in her . What advice would anyone have for me ?
Her behavior is no reflection on you.
My MIL was not mean or abusive in any way. I think in OP's position I would grey rock this person. If she threatened suicide, tell her, okay, go ahead. Very doubtful she'd be able to carry it out, but perhaps when she saw it didn't have the effect she wanted she would stop. If not, call 911 and have her admitted. I would also see if the facility could change her roommate. The staff should be used to bad behavior from dementia patients and have the skills to deflect it. That poor woman who just lost her husband does not.
Is your mom medicated for anxiety? That may help. although it is possible that mom may be more of a fall risk if she is medicated.
I would just ignore any comments that she makes. If you make a big deal about it or apologize she may get more verbal.
She made her cleaning lady cry. Mother was yelling about her saying nasty things in the living room when the lady could hear her from the floor above.
I had to let her go because my mother did not like her and told me to do it. The poor woman was so upset. I gave her a hug and said consider yourself lucky that you’re not her daughter.