I stopped working to care for my aging Mother. Can I be reimbursed for the care?

Yes, lovingdaughter, my dad put everything in a trust, he took everything out of their will and put it a a trust, before he passed. plus I have durible power of atturiney. overe everything I owe money to credit cards which I can no longer pay since I can not work I am getting no child support from my daughters dad coz the state doesn't know where he is . so there is just me, my mom , and my 9 year old daughter plu my 2 little dogs. living on a little $1,513.00 a month.but their isn't anything in it but this house we are living in, and maybe just $200.00 dollers in some stock but its not growing very much coz the econimy is down,

deefer12- I have a younger brother who lives 3 hours away from me and doesn't help out one bit. no money from him and he makes pretty good income about $13-15.00 an hour he works for stanley tools in arlington tx and will not give me one cent to help me take care of his mother. he claims that he loves her but he just won't help. and I'm very tired and stressed and depressed that I'm having a tole on my whole situation. I just had a neighber give me 20.00 to buy gas to take my mom to okla. city to a dr.s apt. right now on july 14 i am sitting with a whole 30.00 in the checking accout till my mom gets paid again on the 3rd of aug. all i can do is pay the house payments and utilitys and try to have enought money to buy her meds and gas and even try to buy the things my 9 year old needs for the upcoming school season to start. like a new coat, clothes, etc. I'm just saying my prayers to god everyday, and hanging on . I get no help from noone.

CBiscuit,
Have you contacted medicare. There has to be some help for you. Do you have a program that will take her into a nursing home. If she has little or no assets, the state has help for you. The problem is finding it. Call you social services for the elderly and ask a social worker to get involved. Have you looked into a reverse mortgage? I know people who have done this and it has been very helpful. Was your dad a Veteran? There are services for you because of his service. Also, does she qualify for food stamps or meals on wheels? A social worker will help you sort it out and fill out the paper work. Our social worker is coming on Thursday to see what she can do for my mom. Good luck

how about iowa

Try the Medicaid Waver in your state and see if you can get him on Medicaid. Also, contact your aging services people on your state's Web site and see what help is available through the Federal family caregivers program.

Carol

Thanks everyone for all your advise but the state of Oklahoma has done everything they could possible do and their programs STINK, right now I just put my mom in the mentle hospital in witchita Falls Tx. which is an hour drive I have to back today the 15th of july to give them my p.o.a. papers and bring my mom some clothes. her physic. dr. wants to rearrange her meds. you see my mom has always been diagnoised as parinoid-schiz., manic depressive, ocd, multiable personalitys, and now mild to moderiate alzimers with demitia, my mom is almost 71 years of age. and it really hurt my heart when I left my mom at the hospital saying to her that i love her and her reply back was no i don't and if i did the why am i putting her in the hospital? i hope your happy now! well i know that was not my sweet mom. she had a blank , flat look on her face. have to go back to travel back down the road to bring the hospital some papers and her clothes. had to borrow 20,00 for gas from a friend, since my moms checking account has about 30-40 dollers in it till the 3rd of aug. soc. sec. check. and in answering your questions lovingdaughter my mom makes too much money for food stamps, im the one with foodstamps and medicade for both me and my daughter, and if the state takes her and puts her in nursing home then they will take this house and car and her soc sec to pay. and my daughter and i will not have a place to live. I have applied for soc. sec. dissability on myself coz i'm severily depressed, have panic attacts, already been turned down once so i got me a soc. sec. lawyer. still waiting on the answer from my appeal. probabily will take awhile(long while) on that. but the state of oklahoma has the advantage program which has no money to help with caregiving, all the advantage program is ( give you stuff for handicap like shower chairs, handheld showers, grab bars, toilet risers, bedside toilet, frozen outdated microwave meals, adult pullups or diapers if incontents, bedpads if needed, a homeprovider for so many hrs a week and she comes into your house and washes my moms clothes and or gives her a bath and cleans her room and or living area, and changes her bed sheets, and helps with daily dressing, well I stopped the program because sometimes they couldn't find a homeprovider to come either she quit or never showed up on time and when there was someone here she would use up or waiste my cleaning supplies and use too much water in my washing machine witch would make my water bill go up, or use way too much detergent in my moms clothes and i would run out in just one weeks time, or she would only be here for about 30-45 mins. when she was suppose to be here for 3-4 hours. so i just gave up the program, was making me more stressed and panicky. figure i could do this myself.my brother won't help me with any fiances, he's kinda upset with me, i called him to let him know that his mom is in the hospital, and asked if he could send me a little 50 dollers for the rest of then month and he just claimed that he don't have it but then he began to tell me how he bought a laptop computer. well he makes about 13.86 an hour at his job and i dont make a dime. my 9 year old daughter and i are living on my mothers soc.sec of about 1,500 a month. so thats it dont have any body else to turn to for help. I'M ON MY OWN!

i have been told there is a legal way to do this if you see a good attorney. even in florida

I had been caring for my father until this month, he passed away but when I had went and applied so that it would be recognized as a job also and I could earn money doing it, they told me my dad had too much income and therefore I didn't qualify...I live in southern california by the way.

CBiscuit,
You have so much to deal with. Do you have a church community that can help? I wish we could let the government know who this affects us all. It doesn't seem as if anyone is listening or cares. Does your dad have veterans benefits, since that would give her more care? How about visiting nurse? We have one for the summer and it is very helpful. I will keep thinking and brainstorming for you. You are in my prayers.
Linda

How about Florida?

Any help like this in Minnesota

have you contacted your congressman? senator? Medicaid or Medicare? Start there also your local social service office or a social worker at your local hospital.

How about Louisiana

We'd be in better position if our charges were Medicaid eligible. My mother has too much income for that, so "I" lose out. My income is $10 day, and I don't qualify for anything. Whatever helpful programs seemed aimed at the recipient of the aide rather than the needs and contributions of the family caregiver. oh well, I've given up hope for myself being paid.. Perhaps will give some of you ideas and direction.

To my knowledge, only Massachusetts, Oregon, Vermont and North Dakota have a "Caring Homes" program.

However, at least in Massachusetts, the following was true:

"Federal rules require that the program EXCLUDE spouses and dependent children as caregivers"

Apparently Vermont & N. Dakota are using some state funds to allow spouses to be the caregivers. I don't know if things have change in Massachusetts since the program's inception.

A few states have had an "Adult Foster Care" program, but it only pays non-relatives to take in seniors and disabled adults who need help - relatives are excluded.

I must point out that while the "idea" of keeping an elderly parent at home is very noble, the reality is something very different. If a relative has dementia or Alzheimer's, their behavior may become bizarre and unsafe for other famly members. Would you be able to take care of an incontinent elderly relative who likes to smear his/her feces on the walls of your home? What if they become combative with other family members?

There comes a point when nursing home care is the only realistic option for many elderly people, since they must be supervised 24/7 and cannot be left alone even for a moment. I'm glad that we live in an era when we have such facilities available for people.

dragonflower

Check to see if your state has a program like in home supportive service (IHSS) in California. Same eligibility requirements as Medi-cal (Medicaid) and can provide up to 283 hours of in home care per month. Family members can be paid

Please note the original question was asked 8 years ago, and the answers may not reflect what are the current rules and programs for each State.

Vast majority of grown children are not paid unless the parent can pay them from their own retirement fund.

Some States have Medicaid programs where one can be paid, but the pay will be minimal. And with the current Congress [2017] wanting to cut funds out of Medicaid, those programs could possibly disappear or be limited.