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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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It seems like at every turn we’re bombarded by marketing that can be painful to those of us who would do anything to celebrate this special holiday like we did in the past.
Take flowers to yours our you mom's favorite spot, talk with her, thank her, tell her you love her, and send those flowers aflight. This will be my first year without mom. and Just might spread her ashes along with flowers.
I try to remember that our time together is coming to an end, that things aren't the way they used to be, so now I try to address the "new normal" and deal with it one day at a time. This year I will take my mom to her favorite place to eat, and spend some time with her like I do each time I go to see her anyway. She realizes that "things" are a waste, so I don't go there with her about stuff. I try to see what interests her, and offer something different that will please her in the moment because I know that she will forget it right after it happens. If the weather permits, we have a canal boat ride that offers greater than life-sized bronze statues along the way that depicts the founding of our state. She has never seen them, she is afraid of water ( the canal is about 3-4 feet deep) but is willing to go to see them. If we can't go this Sunday, then they will be there when the weather is good. Life is fleeting, and when she is gone, there will be no retrieval. No matter how mad I get at her, when I cool down I realize what everyone else has said who has made this journey before me..."I wish I had been more patient with my mom ( or dad)." How true! Bet they felt the same with us when we were growing up and they had given up on us not listening, not learning, misbehaving, giving them a hard time, etc. Now turn it around and think of yourself in their place. How will your caregivers feel about you when you are pushing them to the limits?
All the mothers I used to send flowers to have gone - my mother, sig other's mother and my ex mil, with whom I remained friends. I think I will bring some flowers to my dd as she and I are it now in my immediate family. Neither of my sons have children, so sending flowers to my dils doesn't feel quite right. I may get some for myself. What I really want is lilacs which are not available here. My late father's birthday is tomorrow and I am missing him more than I am mother (narcissist). He was my nurturing parent. The lilacs were always out at home for his birthday and I would attach a fragrant sprig to his present.
Mother's Day around here is all about making sure my DH's mom gets fed and fussed.
I handed this responsibility over to him some years ago, when at Mother's Day dinner, she sat next to DH, across from me and did not address one single word to me. DH is so clueless.
I left the table, went in the lady's room and cried.
Going home, she hops in the front seat next to DH. Thanks HIM profusely for the lovely (and expensive!) gift Again, not one word to me. Not. One. Word.
We dropped her off and I stayed in the backseat, Lightbulb went on in DH's head. He said nothing on the trip home. Had he gotten me so much as a card? OF COURSE NOT! I'M NOT HIS MOTHER.
HATE HATE HATE mother's day. I know a lot of women out there who feel the same.
I no longer even speak to my MIL. Dh has a gift sitting there, all wrapped, nice card and if he doesn't take it to her tonight, he won't be able to, as he is leaving town on Saturday for a week.
On the flip side, my KIDS are amazing. I gift my daughters and DIL and let them know how much I love them every day of every year. It's a day that hurts, all day long.
Please tell me DH went out and bought the present for his mother! Your MIL sounds like a very mean spirited, wicked person!
for a long time, mother’s day around here was all about my MIL. Even after I had the first grandchild, there was little acknowledgement that MIL was no longer the only “mom” in the family. My first mother’s day, my mom came out to visit & we had a wonderful day together & then we spent some time with MIL in the late afternoon. My 2nd mother’s day, she wasn’t able to come out and my husband had to work. My BILs wife was pregnant and my husband’s sister hosted them & MIL for a mother’s day lunch. I got snubbed! Wasn’t invited. And for a few years after that, mother’s day ended up being a souce of stress and hurt feelings because the focus was on my MIL & the plans my SIL made for mother’s day! My husband never understood why I didn’t jump for joy at the thought of all of us getting together to celebrate HIS mom on mother’s day. Nothing was ever planned for me and I was never asked what I wanted! And I was left feeling like a bad person for not wanting to participate because it wasn’t what I wanted to do! I would have rather spent of part of the day with my husband and daughter and then taken MIL out to dinner or brought her dessert (if she had already gone out for a meal with SIL and BIL). I rather hated that day because I couldn’t spend it with my mom since she lives far away and no one seemed to acknowledge that my MIL wasn’t the only mom in the family. Things started to change after my SIL became a mother but to this day, I am not a fan of mother’s day.
I know it must be so sad to face Mother's Day when you've lost your mother as many of you have.
I have my mother, but, she's been ill for quite a while and I anticipate she'll be too sick to celebrate Mother's Day this year too. (She suffers with depression and anxiety, which really keeps her down, but, she refuses treatment. I've tried with the doctors. )
So, this year, I plan to go to the MC facility where my LO (cousin) resides and take gifts to the female residents in Honor of Mother's Day. IT doesn't matter if they are a mother or not. I'm going to just take them something. Any suggestions? I'm thinking of flowers, but, that might not be practical. Cards? Treats? What matters, is that I will give a hug and brighten their day. They'll like that, even if there is no gift involved.
Take some tiny toys, such as a stuffed animal on a key chain, or a game like "jacks", or a tiny (quiet) wind chime. As seen at specialty gift store where they have a pharmacy and durable medical equpment. Or a dollar store.
Treat it like all "Holidays" don't celebrate it. It can be sad for those of us who have lost our mom or both parents as well, with Mother's Day and Memorial Day being in the same month.
I find the relentless ads to buy mom a gift, take mom out to eat, etc obnoxious and annoying. I’m past the point where I cry all the time over losing my mom, but I still miss her in small ways every day. I’ve found it’s best to skip church on mother’s day, tried it several times and it always puts me in tears with all the overwhelming talk of mom’s, I also shop as little as possible in the week before as the stores are filled with displays of gifts for mom’s and I have no mom here to buy for. The day itself is okay, my adult children give me small gifts and know I don’t consider the day a big deal
I wish I still had the nice, independent, healthy mother and grandmother to my kids. But that mother/grandmother is gone now except for her physical shell.
So, no mother celebration. She won't understand it and it will just upset her daily routine and cause me stress.
Prayers and condolences to all of you who lost your Mother. For me it has been 6 years, and I still miss her. I try to honor her memory in some way, and sit with remembering the good times. I have put her picture on FaceBook, lit a candle in her honor at home, and this year I ordered a bouquet of flowers for myself and in memory of Mother, Grandmother, and my aunt who died 6 weeks ago.
Long ago I told my sons that it was important to me to hear from them for Mother's Day, and a call meant more than a card. They live very far away, and have been great about keeping in touch. Do something good for yourself, and honor her memory.
I am the only one that remembers my mom, mother’s day, birthday, Christmas, any other special day.
I did a test a couple of years ago. I did not text or call my brothers to remind them to wish mom a happy mother’s day, happy birthday, etc. They didn’t call or come see her. I wasn’t at all surprised but I wish they had for mom. She was hurt. It did prove to mom that they only remembered when I reminded them. Know what? I am not their mom or wife. I am the sister who got tired of being expected to be a mom or wife to them.
I don’t have an irresponsible husband that needs reminding of things because my MIL did not raise him like that. She raised him to be independent. I miss her dearly and think of her all the time, not just on Mother’s Day.
This will be the first mother’s day without my MIL. I plan to pick up some spring trinkets & pretty flowers & decorate her headstone tomorrow or Friday when I go visit her. I am anticipating my BIL & SIL are going to want us all to get together at the cemetery on Sunday, since that’s what they did on her birthday but I’m going to pass on that. My husband won’t go, he doesn’t go to the cemetery and I honestly don’t feel like going & getting all emotional with them. I prefer to grieve in private. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about her so I just don’t feel it’s necessary to get together with everyone on Mother’s Day. I honor her memory every day. My heart goes out to all of you <3
I have a friend that Mothers Day and Fathers Day is the hardest of all the holidays for her so what she does is she spends the day doing something they would have liked to have done, go on a trip, go to the mall, zoo, movie, etc. Me, I focus on the other Mothers in my life, my family, my friends. They get a card and treat of some kind. Blessings hgnhgn
I don’t think there is a right or wrong way here. Each of us has to do what is best for us.
I stopped doing big dinners for my brothers who have never hosted celebrations. When one person does it all like I did we end up feeling used and resentful. Feeling resentment isn’t pleasant so I quit doing what I grew tired of.
I did all of the holidays with no help from anyone. I feel liberated since I stopped doing it. My mother tried to make me feel guilty at first but later understood.
This will be my 4th Mothers Day without Mother and I plan to plant some Pansies and Forget-Me-Nots at Mother's grave. Picking out the cards for my Aunt and SIL was really hard.The To Mother from Daughter loomed out at me...again,stabbing my heart. I'll get through the day,but I'll sure be glad when it's over.
I just went to the mall and purchased something small that would make a good gift. (I wasn’t even thinking about Mother’s Day). The clerk said, “oh, is this for Mother’s Day?” He wanted to know if I needed a gift receipt. I smiled and said “yes.” He had no idea that I don’t have a mom or dad anymore.
I am am proud of myself because I didn’t cry (until I got to the car). I figure that’s progress.
I would love to hear anyone's suggestions! My mother-in-law passed away April 2nd. My husband doesn't talk a whole lot about it because it's still so painful and raw. Easter was the first holiday after her death and he said he wasn't sure he'd make it through all this. I tried to cook a dinner like she would have (we always spent Easter with her). He said it was good. So for Mother's Day I thought about buying some flowers and a card we still all sign for her and have displayed on our mantle. But since my husband hasn't said anything yet, I don't know if we're going to do anything else. We have 4 kids ourselves, and so I'm unsure for myself.
I think the problem is you can’t turn on the TV, go to the drugstore or grocery, open a newspaper (or website with ads) or do just about anything without seeing references. It’s so painful.
Keep your husband home on Mothers Day. (Stay away from restaurants).
Maybe be I will light a candle in the evening, or get a small bunch of flowers to brighten the table, something she would have liked.
When Mom was alive, I took flowers to her every month and for Mother's Day, I ordered a large bouquet of flowers from a florist with a card listing all of the names of children and grandchildren.
This year I am avoiding any mention of Mother's Day in regards to my Mom. I am focusing on the NEW Moms in our family--my nephew & his wife had a baby in January and my niece & her husband are expecting a baby any day now.
For 6 months since my mom has been in MC I have sent big spread of flowers with a note from both my sib and I. My sib thinks waste if money. But I will continue to do until she passes. That is what I am doing for mothers day.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Hug her for all of us who can’t.
I handed this responsibility over to him some years ago, when at Mother's Day dinner, she sat next to DH, across from me and did not address one single word to me. DH is so clueless.
I left the table, went in the lady's room and cried.
Going home, she hops in the front seat next to DH. Thanks HIM profusely for the lovely (and expensive!) gift Again, not one word to me. Not. One. Word.
We dropped her off and I stayed in the backseat, Lightbulb went on in DH's head. He said nothing on the trip home. Had he gotten me so much as a card? OF COURSE NOT! I'M NOT HIS MOTHER.
HATE HATE HATE mother's day. I know a lot of women out there who feel the same.
I no longer even speak to my MIL. Dh has a gift sitting there, all wrapped, nice card and if he doesn't take it to her tonight, he won't be able to, as he is leaving town on Saturday for a week.
On the flip side, my KIDS are amazing. I gift my daughters and DIL and let them know how much I love them every day of every year. It's a day that hurts, all day long.
for a long time, mother’s day around here was all about my MIL. Even after I had the first grandchild, there was little acknowledgement that MIL was no longer the only “mom” in the family. My first mother’s day, my
mom came out to visit & we had a wonderful day together & then we spent some time with MIL in the late afternoon. My 2nd mother’s day, she wasn’t able to come out and my husband had to work. My BILs wife was pregnant and my husband’s sister hosted them & MIL for a mother’s day lunch. I got snubbed! Wasn’t invited. And for a few years after that, mother’s day ended up being a souce of stress and hurt feelings because the focus was on my MIL & the plans my SIL made for mother’s day! My husband never understood why I didn’t jump for joy at the thought of all of us getting together to celebrate HIS mom on mother’s day. Nothing was ever planned for me and I was never asked what I wanted! And I was left feeling like a bad person for not wanting to participate because it wasn’t what I wanted to do! I would have rather spent of part of the day with my husband and daughter and then taken MIL out to dinner or brought her dessert (if she had already gone out for a meal with SIL and BIL). I rather hated that day because I couldn’t spend it with my mom since she lives far away and no one seemed to acknowledge that my MIL wasn’t the only mom in the family. Things started to change after my SIL became a mother but to this day, I am not a fan of mother’s day.
I have my mother, but, she's been ill for quite a while and I anticipate she'll be too sick to celebrate Mother's Day this year too. (She suffers with depression and anxiety, which really keeps her down, but, she refuses treatment. I've tried with the doctors. )
So, this year, I plan to go to the MC facility where my LO (cousin) resides and take gifts to the female residents in Honor of Mother's Day. IT doesn't matter if they are a mother or not. I'm going to just take them something. Any suggestions? I'm thinking of flowers, but, that might not be practical. Cards? Treats? What matters, is that I will give a hug and brighten their day. They'll like that, even if there is no gift involved.
Do something nice for yourself.
Celebrate your mother's every day if you still have them in your life. That's my humble advice for what it's worth.
Your Love was your gift to your mom. That means more than any present that can be wrapped up and tied with a pretty bow. True love is the best gift.
So, no mother celebration. She won't understand it and it will just upset her daily routine and cause me stress.
Long ago I told my sons that it was important to me to hear from them for Mother's Day, and a call meant more than a card. They live very far away, and have been great about keeping in touch. Do something good for yourself, and honor her memory.
I did a test a couple of years ago. I did not text or call my brothers to remind them to wish mom a happy mother’s day, happy birthday, etc. They didn’t call or come see her. I wasn’t at all surprised but I wish they had for mom. She was hurt. It did prove to mom that they only remembered when I reminded them. Know what? I am not their mom or wife. I am the sister who got tired of being expected to be a mom or wife to them.
I don’t have an irresponsible husband that needs reminding of things because my MIL did not raise him like that. She raised him to be independent. I miss her dearly and think of her all the time, not just on Mother’s Day.
My mom babied her sons and they stayed babies.
Me, I focus on the other Mothers in my life, my family, my friends. They get a card and treat of some kind.
Blessings
hgnhgn
I stopped doing big dinners for my brothers who have never hosted celebrations. When one person does it all like I did we end up feeling used and resentful. Feeling resentment isn’t pleasant so I quit doing what I grew tired of.
I did all of the holidays with no help from anyone. I feel liberated since I stopped doing it. My mother tried to make me feel guilty at first but later understood.
Picking out the cards for my Aunt and SIL was really hard.The To Mother from Daughter loomed out at me...again,stabbing my heart.
I'll get through the day,but I'll sure be glad when it's over.
I am am proud of myself because I didn’t cry (until I got to the car). I figure that’s progress.
Keep your husband home on Mothers Day. (Stay away from restaurants).
Maybe be I will light a candle in the evening, or get a small bunch of flowers to brighten the table, something she would have liked.
I just wish this was easier.
This year I am avoiding any mention of Mother's Day in regards to my Mom. I am focusing on the NEW Moms in our family--my nephew & his wife had a baby in January and my niece & her husband are expecting a baby any day now.
my son and daughter learned long ago that I prefer to ignore this holiday.... just another Sunday.